WOW! Best friend is dating my EX??

[phoop007]

Hey guys im new to the forum and I decided to post something here cause a friend reccomended it to me to help me out.
I am typing it on my andriod so please excuse my terrible punctuation and misspelled words.

Ok so here it is:

Well my Jounior year of school was doing well. Me and her were very strong. It was 10 months into our relationship. Anyways twoards the end of our
jounior college year she was worryed over out break time that i would see other girls and she got very scared. I admit almost all my friends are girls and thats why it scared her and i try to make it so shes very comfortable about it.

Anyways school got out may 21st and when we left i got the text that she was dumping me cause there was to much stress about it. I tryed to call her, text her, everything but she blocked me. So I remembered that i set up her ipod for her and she had a free texting app. So i decided to check out the app. And sure enough she sent messages too all her friends that she called it off. and her exucse was that i thought she was cheating on me? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????????????????????!!? !?!?! wherd the frick did that come from? anyways 3 days later i finally was able to get her on the phone and she cried and said sorry and she wanted me back. I didnt take her back yet cause I was Still angry. so we just talked all the time aagain for about 2 weeks. Its about june 10nth now. Then she sent me a text saying she was going on a religous trip. I said alright and understood she couldnt text me for a full week. She sent me all these texts and emails saying everything will be ok and we are strong and we can be a happy couple again. I was happy about that because She lived up to her mistakes and was truely sorry and I forgave her.

NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

here comes the WO part. After she got back from the trip.. nothing... no texts... no emails... I sent her stuff. no replys (BTW im not annoying i dont spamm the crap out of her phone or email) anyways idk what the heck was going on.

Finally 1 week of confusion i got a hold of her mom and she told me that we needed to split and her daughter agreed.
Im like what? she just said we were gonna date again and we could make it.

Anyways meanwhile ive been texting my best buddy and he felt bad for me. but get this. SHE WAS TEXTING HIM. anyways he said he was helping her thru the hardship of our breakup. meanwhile i was pretty hurt as well.

So still wondering ive been texting my friend how shes doing and all and it sounded like he took her to the movies>? And then he brought it it me.

He said that they liked eachother?
IM LIKE wowwww come on we dated strong for 10 months and 2 weeks after breakup she likes him? sounded like a rebound.But nope.
One week later he asked her out. and she said yes? im like WTF MAN your my best friend you dont do that thats against rules and bro code. hes like "idk i cant controll my feelings i like her"

I told him this \
"we can't help who we like... BUT we can make the choice not to act on those feelings"

hes like sorry man i like her

So i went to a movie with a girl and i saw them there today and they were all kissing and stuff and my friend or her must not care about my feelings.

im really really hurt.

I need you help to figure it out.

Was it wrong for him to do?

my thumbs are getting tired. if you have questions, just ask.

[smackie9]

obviously he is no longer your friend.........It depends IMO. If you dumped her and didn't give a rat's ass who she dated I can see she would be fair game to anyone. It stings when you get dumped, and she is pining for your friend and he obliges. I dunno I guess you would have to sit back and look at it from his perspective and make your decision whether he was wrong or you are just over reacting.

[phoop007]

obviously he is no longer your friend.........It depends IMO. If you dumped her and didn't give a rat's ass who she dated I can see she would be fair game to anyone. It stings when you get dumped, and she is pining for your friend and he obliges. I dunno I guess you would have to sit back and look at it from his perspective and make your decision whether he was wrong or you are just over reacting.

I happen to talk to fellow classmates from my classes and they all say it was a jerk move from both of them that she dumped me and shes dating him and hes dating her.

come on.. live up to the BRO CODE

[IndiReloaded]

Newsflash - You don't own another person. Ever.

But yes, your friend could have been more sensitive of your feelings. He could have told you straight up he wanted to date her. Not for permission, but out of respect.

[phoop007]

Newsflash - You don't own another person. Ever.

But yes, your friend could have been more sensitive of your feelings. He could have told you straight up he wanted to date her. Not for permission, but out of respect.

i dont ever think of "owning" a person lol where u get that? and he did tell me he was gonna date her. but according to others its a nice thing to ask for permission first. itz just the hard part is i had
3 weeks to get over a 10 month relationship then having her date someone new so fast. and that someone was my best friend. and he was a best friend. i mean we always has eachothers backs and all

[IndiReloaded]

i dont ever think of "owning" a person lol where u get that? and he did tell me he was gonna date her. but according to others its a nice thing to ask for permission first.

If you don't think of it as ownership then why the need to ask permission? What is there to permit?

I think what's really bothering you is the 3 weeks. You suspect they were into each other before you broke up. Probably right. Which means, what you are *really* upset about is the fact they weren't honest with you about THAT. Also, that you now find it very uncomfortable being friends with your friend b/c he reminds you of her.

Just a guess, of course, but you should check your own navel on this. Figure out why you are *really* upset, don't just apply some stupid rule that people don't really understand themselves.

[smackie9]

I happen to talk to fellow classmates from my classes and they all say it was a jerk move from both of them that she dumped me and shes dating him and hes dating her.

come on.. live up to the BRO CODE

Well if you already got what you wanted to hear from your fellow classmates, I don't see the purpose of taking this to a relationship forum for more opinions.

[smackie9]

It may look like a douchie move at your end but sometimes in these situations people end up in better relationships, and much happier.

[MaidenMinx]

I went out with my ex's best friend. Admittedly it was 18 months after the ex and I split, but the best friend had come on to the scene since then. After 8 months of friend ship with the ex and myself (my ex and I were stuck in the uncomfortable position of still living together, oh and yes my ex did get attached to people quickly enough to consider 8 months of friendship = a best friend), the friend and I got to spend some time alone. We got together rather quickly and my ex went absolutely ballistic. I was kicked out, the ex refused to talk to his friend anymore, and I was described as a slut and lost quite a few of the friends the ex and I shared mutually.

On the upside, 9 years later, I am still with the friend. We are happily married and have a wonderful son. The ex ended up sleeping with a 13 yr old and got himself in a heap of shit.

So yeah, what your friend did sucks. On the other hand, it's easier to make friends than find a partner. Let it go, move on and think no more of it. Oh and don't talk about it either or let your friends goad you into talking about it. Talking about it just keeps the negative feelings circulating and makes it seem like more drama than it it.

[phoop007]

I went out with my ex's best friend. Admittedly it was 18 months after the ex and I split, but the best friend had come on to the scene since then. After 8 months of friend ship with the ex and myself (my ex and I were stuck in the uncomfortable position of still living together, oh and yes my ex did get attached to people quickly enough to consider 8 months of friendship = a best friend), the friend and I got to spend some time alone. We got together rather quickly and my ex went absolutely ballistic. I was kicked out, the ex refused to talk to his friend anymore, and I was described as a slut and lost quite a few of the friends the ex and I shared mutually.

On the upside, 9 years later, I am still with the friend. We are happily married and have a wonderful son. The ex ended up sleeping with a 13 yr old and got himself in a heap of shit.

So yeah, what your friend did sucks. On the other hand, it's easier to make friends than find a partner. Let it go, move on and think no more of it. Oh and don't talk about it either or let your friends goad you into talking about it. Talking about it just keeps the negative feelings circulating and makes it seem like more drama than it it.

I like this awnser! See, Im really not a bad guy, Im a 6'2" runner and I love to play sports, I treat woman with respect/ as many of my friends are girls. I mean A few of the cutest girls at school wanna date me but I tell them naw cause Im trying to get over this situation. I mean how could my ex dump me after 10 months and not tell me why then 3 weeks later date my best friend? What makes it weirder is that she said she would love to hang on and loved me and all in those messages before she left on that religous trip. AND why my best friend??? I mean hes one of few of my best guy friends I have! and he was one of my fav.

She does have bi-polar. does that have anything to do with it?

Im really not a bad person, I havent done anything wrong, and my friends say I didnt either. People I dont even know see the situation and they see it as a jerk move and it was nasty and low from the both of them and that i shouldnt consider taking back either one of them if the situation leads there.

/Haha then all my girls that are friends are all happy that we split cause they didnt like me being with, an "ugly" girl, they would call her that. I didnt care if she was prettty or not, I cared about her and took care of her feelings. But I guess maybe she didnt feel the way I felt about her.
My friends say im way over her level too. Idc about "Levels"! (this sounds like fricken high school again) I just cared about her.

I guess its just a hard situation cause my friend dont care, he says his feelings come first. well WTF your not gonna have friends for long if you always put yourself first.

Great awnser

[phoop007]

If you don't think of it as ownership then why the need to ask permission? What is there to permit?

I think what's really bothering you is the 3 weeks. You suspect they were into each other before you broke up. Probably right. Which means, what you are *really* upset about is the fact they weren't honest with you about THAT. Also, that you now find it very uncomfortable being friends with your friend b/c he reminds you of her.

Just a guess, of course, but you should check your own navel on this. Figure out why you are *really* upset, don't just apply some stupid rule that people don't really understand themselves.

I wasnt over her, he just took over...
not cool. Friends dont do that. Counslers ive been to aggree

[phoop007]

If you don't think of it as ownership then why the need to ask permission? What is there to permit?

I think what's really bothering you is the 3 weeks. You suspect they were into each other before you broke up. Probably right. Which means, what you are *really* upset about is the fact they weren't honest with you about THAT. Also, that you now find it very uncomfortable being friends with your friend b/c he reminds you of her.

Just a guess, of course, but you should check your own navel on this. Figure out why you are *really* upset, don't just apply some stupid rule that people don't really understand themselves.

Wow you sounds angry? Are you ok? lol
" don't just apply some stupid rule that people don't really understand themselves"

do you live in the US? its a logical society thing. Best friend doesnt date your fricken girlfriend that you got dumped from 2 weeks prior, from 10 months dating!
Its not real , but its a very mature and respectful thing to do

[cheekxs]

yo you people typ to much shit. that we dont want to know.

i dont think its right to date family exes and friends exes. its nasty.

and its your ex. so let it go main your own business. if he was that good for you , he would be with you.

[cheekxs]

...........................he=she

[smackie9]

This sort of thing happens all the time. It was worse for my Great aunt.....she couldn't make her date with her BF so she asked a close friend to take her place. That night her friend and BF hit it off, and ran off together. Later they were married. So this nothing new. There is no explaining why infatuation/love makes us do these things.

No one is calling you a bad guy, hey bad things happen to good people too. The thing is you two were not married, no had no proof of her cheating, and it's plain to see that something about your friend really captured her heart. So ya it sucks, BUT you never know you just may find yourself in her shoes one day.