I cheated on her, should I admit it?

[Blondi3]

You have to tell her. The issue isn't that you cheated - whether she forgives that is irrelevant. The question is can she support you raise your son. Because whatever you feel for her, he has to be top priority now - you have a responsibility to be the best father you can be. 4 years of lying is going to be damn hard to forgive, but the real question going forward is can she accept being 2nd call after another woman's child. Is she ready to cancel plans, because your boy gets sick and needs his dad, is she going to be happy helping you look after him, having to watch you spend money on him instead of saving for holidays with her, etc, etc. Because if she's going to be a real part of your life, then she's going to be a real part of his.

[Malik]

Well i actually told her last week everything. She left the room crying and since then refused to talk to me. I went over to her house and tried everything but it looks like it is over. I just don´t know what to do. I even have thoughts of suicide but there is this little boy that i have to take care of.

Just the thought of her being in another man´s arms is making me all angry and desperate, i don´t know how and i dont want to live like this!

[bluesummer]

You are going to have to take it.......you messed up and your biggest mistake was not telling her as soon as you found out this woman was having your child. I love my husband but I could absolutely not forgive him cheating, AND finding out he got someone pregnant, AND they'd had the child AND he'd kept it a secret for four years!!!!!!

Don't worry about who she's sleeping with, you got to sleep with someone else so all's fair. Take care of your kid, move on, and hopefully learn from your mistakes.

[smackie9]

Well i actually told her last week everything. She left the room crying and since then refused to talk to me. I went over to her house and tried everything but it looks like it is over. I just don´t know what to do. I even have thoughts of suicide but there is this little boy that i have to take care of.

Just the thought of her being in another man´s arms is making me all angry and desperate, i don´t know how and i dont want to live like this!

i doubt very highly you will see her in the arms of another man. After this, she will have a very tough time trusting men for a very long time.

[Malik]

You are going to have to take it.......you messed up and your biggest mistake was not telling her as soon as you found out this woman was having your child. I love my husband but I could absolutely not forgive him cheating, AND finding out he got someone pregnant, AND they'd had the child AND he'd kept it a secret for four years!!!!!!

Don't worry about who she's sleeping with, you got to sleep with someone else so all's fair. Take care of your kid, move on, and hopefully learn from your mistakes.

Well that is the only thing left to do.

[InYourFACE]

You felt lonely and all of that crap is you making excuses for something wrong you did.

Dont go to her with that bullshit. Cause you are grown enough to think and make good decisions.

You could have break up with her then and keep your slutty life going on with whatever girl.

So you wanted to keep your affair secret but now that she is pregnant you want to tell her this 2 dramas>>??

You are wrong in any kind of way. so now you want to make it worse by keeping it secret?

be a men for once and be honest so she know that she cant build on you and move on for someone better!
You already made your decision 4 years ago.

And is it really yours? find out if its yours. and why she calls you suddenly to tell u now.
but what ever the story you need to be honest to your gf. cause she will find out some other way and that
will be worse.

[Malik]

I know all of this but i was 20 years old back then. Didn't you do any stupid things when u were at that age?

[Maple1714]

I know all of this but i was 20 years old back then. Didn't you do any stupid things when u were at that age?

Yes, of course we all do stupid things...its about taking responsibility. You have taken responsibility for your actions and that's good. You have to deal with the harsh consequences of your actions. It's ok...it's not the end of the world. You have a son now and you need to be a man and stop whining about your now ex meeting other men...come on.

[smackie9]

Not like that I didn't.

*I did all my stupid crap when I was a teenager.

[JBELL]

I don't think the cheating on her thing will piss her off as much as the fact that you kept it from her for so long and now have a four year old child.

you should have come clean ages ago.

[Malik]

Well that is exactly what she said to me when she broke up with me.

[ashly]

Yeah, you have to tell her!

[newcity2010]

It easier for others to tell you to do " the right thing" but most people do not act on the words......including myself.

[Malik]

true that.

[love&otherdrugs]

You did the right thing in telling her. She's justified in leaving you and being upset, as anyone would expect. Whether or not you are justified in feeling worried and sickened at the thought of her with another man, that worried thought is bound to happen when someone you love breaks up with you.

I still get that worry all the time, and I did no harm to my ex. BUT, actions have consequences as you are now well aware of, and what you learn from those consequences will make a greater deal in your life than whether or not she finds solace in the arms of another man. Learn from this, be a good father, and move forward. Show yourself that a cheating man who hides a son is NOT who you are or who you want to be, and grow from it.