Want to be friend with someone i know from work (But not work with)

[Ametz]

Ok, so im a worker on a big "company" with 200 cars, and we buy parts/repair some of those cars at this place where she works.
And i'm there sometimes 3 times a day and sometimes 3 times a week, and a few times not even once in 1 week (So its now and then)
And sometimes i get to talk to her if i get to that counter (I always hope i do) Or if it's not much people there i can say hi etc..

I have been working with this for 1,5 years now
So we have spoken some, and we seem to have quite fun for those short times we talk.
(She can't talk much because the other customers behind me)
So we start to know eachother "ok" (less then i want anyway, but i still know some of her private life, and she some about my life)
I always try to think up questions to ask her next time i see her

Anyway, this woman drives me crazy because i can't stop thinking about how a good person she is, and how much i want to know her more.
Sooo...
Am charmed by her = Absolutly, indeed im.
Am i enamored in her = Perhaps, i suppose so?
Am i In love with her = wow, this is mined territory, i don't think i would even want to go there in my thoughts and explore.

So in the end i want to spend more time with her, but how should i ask her to be my friend?
Without be afraid of a rejection, because i still need to go and talk to her in my work.

Is there a way i can do this?

Been thinking about some idées like:
1 * Ask her for a favor (What kind of favor)
2 * Ask is she wants to come along and shop etc (can be a "no" then and then it might be problem because i need to see her in work anyway)
3 * Ask if she gonna shop on the weekend, and if she is, then ask if she have a few mins to spare to help me look at a sofa there (big mall) and get her input if i should by it or not. (Not so intrusive in her private life i think? And if i get a "No i dont want to" etc, its not as hard as question 2 i think?)

[Cerby]

Sigh, why would you ask someone you're interested in to be your "friend"? People come here complaining all the time about being in the "friend zone", but it appears you're inviting it. If you're "charmed" and "enamored" then you won't find the friendship very fulfilling.

So here is what you do. You toss all over thinking and strategizing out the window, it just makes you look like an insecure fool when it seems like you're reading from an invisible card. Next time you see her, you ask her "What time are you off?" and then when she says, you follow it up with "Would you like to go out for coffee with me after your shift?". If she is interested, she will say yes, or propose an alternate time if she can't make it.

[Ametz]

Bad idé because if she says "no" to that kind of direct question.
Then its not gonna be fun for both of us being forced to talk to each other every now and then in work..

Its needs a more delicate way..

[Cerby]

Bad idé because if she says "no" to that kind of direct question.
Then its not gonna be fun for both of us being forced to talk to each other every now and then in work..

Its needs a more delicate way..

No, you see, it doesn't. Asking someone for coffee is not an implied date, but a meeting. It can be friends, co-workers, potential relationships, whatever. It is an ice-breaker that you can use to work into something more date-like.

Here is the problem, you're using "delicate" because you're not confident in the outcome. If there is no policy against dating co-workers, then who cares if she says no! You can still be a professional around her even after asking her out, even if you are a little uncomfortable.

[Ametz]

Indeed im afraid if it don't work out as planned..

I been thinking about another thing, there is a restaurant (not too fancy, just a normal good lunch restaurant)
That is almost side by side from her work (200 meter), and se told me that she never been there, even if thats the only one in the area.
I asked her before when i was going there with a friend if it was any good there etc, then she told me she haven't been there. (i been there 2 times now)
(Almost every lunch she is going home to her parents to eat or have food with her.)

So i was thinking about saying something like this: I gonna eat at this restaurant tomorrow again since it was quite good, want to follow?
Then its not a date or anything, but a meeting not far away from her job (takes 10 min for me to get there, so thats no problem)

Could that be a good idé?

[haxan]

1.5 years of nothing?

How do you think asking for coffee isn't delicate, but following you to lunch is? lol

If you know some subject matter that she likes (cars, animals, whatever), tell her you took a really cool pic regarding that subject last week and you want to send it to her because you think she'd like it (hopefully she'll give you her phone number at that point). Then find a cool pic to take and send it to her. See if you two start doing some communicating via text to get to know each other since you don't see her very often. If she's not open to that, then forget it.

[TheCafeTerrace]

1.5 years of nothing?

How do you think asking for coffee isn't delicate, but following you to lunch is? lol

If you know some subject matter that she likes (cars, animals, whatever), tell her you took a really cool pic regarding that subject last week and you want to send it to her

Great idea... if you were a 13 year old.

Just grow a pair and ask her if she wants to get lunch or a coffee with you, like Cerby said. If she says no get over it, it's not the end of the world. I still talk to loads of girls who've rejected me. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

[haxan]

Great idea... if you were a 13 year old.

Just grow a pair and ask her if she wants to get lunch or a coffee with you, like Cerby said.

It's been a year and a half, he doesn't want to do that. Telling someone or asking someone to do something, when the tools aren't necessarily available in their tool kit is pointless. If it takes him doing something outside of the box to get her attention, he should try it. She may be as awkward about it as him.

[cheekxs]

stop fooling around. job is to work. not to find girlfriends!dammit