Girlfriend is Busy

[MrLove7]

I guess I'll start with some back story. My girl friend and I have known each other for around 3 years now and dating for about 1. Around two months ago she started using the word love with me which is wonderful. She has a fairly busy life do to work and is really independent, hasn't had too many relationships in her time. But we always try to work around that and make it work, which I'm fine with. Me on the other hand I'm a little less busy which is a gift and a curse Anyways she's an entertainer of sorts and the summer months she's the most busy. Because she has more than her 9to5 on the plate to include rehearsals and whatever else. Sometimes during the year she ends up traveling as well.

The last time I saw her was about two weeks ago. The last time we spoke on the phone was a few days ago. The day I did see her last everything was normal as usual kiss/I love you type stuff. Every year she does seem busy around this time and she showed me her busy schedule. On the phone we try to make some plans to meet up but that's been falling through cause she's busy. She posts events she goes to on Facebook, has pictures with her girls that are in the same line of work, so I know she's not entirely blowing me off.

Over the past couple days we have been texting but when I attempt to get together with her she says she's "busy" I ask her when she thinks she has sometime and says "I don't know". I don't want to believe she's blowing me off for other reasons because with her work the hours are long and potentionally make you tired/run down.

Do you guys think I'm over thinking this situation too much? Should I stop initiating contact and give her a chance to start things up? Do you think that independent mindset is kicking in? I'm fine with her busy life style and respect it, so the reason I'm asking is due to a previous marriage that ended ith my ex wife cheating on me. I think that tends to make me nervous or extra suspicious.

Thanks for reading and looking forward to some responses.

[derby1979]

Use your intuation, if you didnt feel it is right then think of it and stop. Sometimes girls need to be free, no text no call and no chat. It will make here confused and also will realized that you meant something for her in short give her space out of her busy days. And try to find something that can make you busy as well so you can divert your attention.

[MrLove7]

Use your intuation, if you didnt feel it is right then think of it and stop. Sometimes girls need to be free, no text no call and no chat. It will make here confused and also will realized that you meant something for her in short give her space out of her busy days. And try to find something that can make you busy as well so you can divert your attention.

I guess your right. If I look at the situation with only considering the facts I guess I have nothing to worry about. I know she stresses herself out and doesn't like to talk about certain things. Maybe this is the way she copes? So you think I should give her awhile to herself and let her make the first move? I really don't want to push her away, everything has been going good, but I seem to run into this situation every year that drives me wild. I think partly from previous experiences.

[smackie9]

If you have to strain at keeping happy with this relationship, maybe you should have a good hard look at the compatibility situation. If your relationship expectations are not being met, maybe you are not with the right person. To me it sounds like this relationship is just part time and you are not getting what you need out of it.

A relationship doesn't have to be bad, or go sour to have it end.....maybe this just isn't suitable for you and maybe a committed relationship at this time of her life isn't either.

A day or two is nothing, but two weeks....that would leave me very unsatisfited with the relationship. I myself have ended relationships just for that reason.....I want someone that will be a part of my life, not when it's convenient for them.

You want to keep it going? That's up to you. I say back off and let her make the move. Get a hobby or something to stay busy until you hear from her again.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop initiating contact with her, and be curt with her when she initiates. Stop asking to meet up also.

[MrLove7]

Stop initiating contact with her, and be curt with her when she initiates. Stop asking to meet up also.

I will starting now. I'll just have to keep busy. Like you said I'll just see what's up when she does call and not try to always make plans. Let her come after me I guess. I just don't want to mess anything up. She did tell me she was going to start getting busy, has more frequent work and I know for a fact she does. Maybe I'm just thinking to much into it.

[MaidenMinx]

I think you are thinking too much into it. She's busy, you're bored, and because you're bored you imagine she has other stuff going on other than what she's telling you.
Find something else to do at this time of year. Take up sports, join a social group, find a second job, JUST DO SOMETHING. Otherwise, your brain will go into overdrive imagining BS scenarios and every time you talk to her you'll be tense and she will eventually tell you she can't take it anymore.

[macman92]

Here is what I say. If you really want to make things work with her, then you'll have to be willing to let do her thing and in the mean time you go and do yours. If you have a lot of time on your hands, pick up a hobby to help time go by faster. Become a busier person. Also, she has to be willing to work with you. Suggest to her that you both take time out every week out of your busy schedule for the entire evening so you both can just enjoy each other's company. Again she has to be willing to work with you. If she isn't then all of the I love you's don't really matter because her actions say that you are not that important to her. Hope this helps