Confused.com, does she want me or not?

[Mark6275]

About 5 months ago I was contacted by a woman on a dating site, who (at the time) wanted a relationship, she initially said she was going through a divorce from her Ex, (she's a 'stunner', thought all my prayers had been answered), so we dated and everything was fine, she was amicable with her Ex, and he was (& still is a friend of her's), a few weeks later she dropped a bombshell saying she was going to try to 'make it work with him again, so I left them both to sort it out.

A few months later, I looked her up on Facebook & found out it hadn't worked out for them both & they are REALLY going for divorce, so I contacted her & she was fine with me seeing her as a friend and perhaps a relationship between us would grow from it. As a friend I go around there to baby-sit, while she goes out, the kids love me there.

Yet she now openly goes on dating sites, but says 'she loves being single again', I'm getting mixed messages and don't know what to do next, do I still stay a friend until hopefully something better comes of it, do I go my own separate way, do I ask her what she really wants?

It's doing my head in!

TIA

[Cerby]

The voluntary friend-zone. Quick lesson, if you're romantically interested in someone, then offering to be their "friend" is about as boneheaded of an idea as there ever was. I suggest you make a move on her sooner than later, if she is using you to babysit while she goes on other dates, waiting around to see what happens from it is not going to work.

[jwayne]

Hmm.... find a new one. Thats the best solution.

[Ely North]

If you're at her house babysitting her kids while she's out dating other guys, then she's not interested in you. Unless you're getting a little loving after she gets home and the kids are in bed, I'd get out of there and look for someone else.

[Mark6275]

She's not out dating when I babysit but working, I would walk if that happened, I'm not called 'Mug', we are just friends, but through commitment I hope it'll develop into more, remember she asked me out initially, do I wait, walk or what?

TIA

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You are finished. This is just pathetic.

[Wakeup]

Seriously what Backup said.

She's using you and you're hoping that you being her door mat will make her attracted to you. What you're allowing her to do to you is soooo unattractive to her that she will never change her mind about keeping you as her "friend" and babysitter. Likely her feelings of being unattracted to you are sub-conscious but still real and quite obvious to us not directly involved emotionally with her.

Sorry, but you should be unavailable to babysit while she seeks out a sexual/romantic partner at work or anywhere else. You should also quit contacting her altogether so that you can move on from your gay-divorcee.

Love yourself enough to Stop it now, Op. You must believe that you deserve better than this.