Relationship advice Urgent

[belstr]

I'm looking for a ladies advice with regards to my relationship.

I've been with my gf for about 18 months and we are expecting our first child, but we both have two children from a previous relationships, but I have some signs that are worrying me.

1, Im still not aloud to go to the football to watch her son and she says it would be awkward with the other parents, despite her ex and her son saying they dont mind, her son is always asking me....fair to say i don't like football but I would still like to be involved at some level.

2, She said to me that she is unable to bond with my children and that it feels awkward and that she cant ever see her having a relationship with them, which really worries me as i end over backwards to help her with her children.

3, She is still very awkward around her ex and his family, when im around, surely after all this time all them emotion should be gone, its not like they dont know she has moved on (her ex moved on first), we didn't have an affair or anything i came along after 2 years of them splitting.

its fair to say we have had our problems, its like she's ashamed of me in some way, well that's how it feels and its making me very un-easy.
Even on facebook their is very little mentioned about us if anything, if I tag her she doesn't like it or say anything nice, If someone asked if shes been on holiday, she will say no rather than say yes me and my boyfriend have just got back, by the way its lads shes talking to.

I just really need to know what all these signs are saying from a girls point of view ,please girls whats this saying am i been taking for a ride!!!!!

Thanks

[Maple1714]

To me it's saying that she isn't that in to you or is still on the fence about you. Why she is choosing to have a child with you I don't know? Have you told her everything you feel? Have you sat down and told her that you are worried and sense that she is ashamed of you? You need to talk to her about all of this immediately and then from there.

[belstr]

I've spoke to her about it loads and she just says, she doesnt want to rub our relationship in anyones faces, but it makes me feel like a dirty secret.

Its fair to say, I know she hasnt been a 100% about me but im in so deep now, but I just feel like im waiting my time and energy and what am i getting out of this but pushed aside.

I have no idea why she is having the baby, but I will go mad if this is pushed aside or kept away from people like a dirty secret.

Where do i go from here?

[Cerby]

I have no idea why she is having the baby

You were present for its creation, you must have been aware it was a possibility. Why take such a risk in a rocky relationship? She isn't wanting to bond with your other children, and not allowing you to bond with hers. There is a clear rift that she has created in your own household, and having a baby right now isn't going to make your relationship any easier.

[belstr]

I here what you are saying, I know all this, thats why i dont know what to do or how to talk about it, she just cant see the problem!!!!

but something has to change or im going to give in and i dont want to.

She cant see the damage it is creating in our familys life, thats whats worrying.

Normally the relationship can be a good one, but behind close doors but all my insecurities come out over these issues and know one but my friend and family can see how wrong this is.

I know one thing this needs sorting and Im sick of dancing around them because, I dont want a fight...these are things two adults should be able to talk about!!!

thats again for comments keep them coming as they are helping confirm my fears.

[belstr]

I have spoken to her and she has said, she doesnt ever want me to watch her son play as its her time to watch her son, she just cant see how it makes me feel how every sunday, im left feeling pushed out.

She doesnt care about my feelings her and everyone elses seem to be the only thing on her mind.

she just said im not welcolm and i will make myself look stupid, i cant beleive this is still an issue after all this time???

[Cerby]

Well, now I'm confident that this relationship is a sham. Your options are limited because of the baby on the way, but if I were you I'd talk to her about this and find out if she sees your relationship going anywhere. If you're not welcome in the childrens lives then this rift will always be present.

If you don't get good answers and she still wants to have the baby, get a paternity test just to be sure it IS yours. This relationship doesn't appear to be going the way you want and you shouldn't be in it anymore.

[belstr]

but i cant walk away now.

if im honest your not the first to say its not going anywere and every time i ignore it, because im scared of the truth, ive fell for someone who is unable to love in return.

Even with my kids, she has said shes unable to bond, which hurts me eveytime i see them, they deserve so much better, they are lovely and actualy think the world of her.

she just says shes not there mam and choose's not to get involved with them at all and is very critical of what and how I have them only once a week and i want it to be an amazing family time, but she fears it with push hers away..

God how do i get past this when she wont move an inch, I dont want to fight but when i want to discuse issues, i dont want to hear if you dont like it leave.

thanks for your advice.

[Cerby]

Do you live together?

[wilsonjack230]

Fighting or blaming to each other is not good you should resolve this by sitting to each other.