She's Married, I'm Involed - What Did I Get Into?

[crazy8ball420]

Hi All,

I just need some thoughts/opinions.

I started a new job. About 2 months ago, I started talking to one of our sales planners. She�s been married for about 2 years. I've been with someone off and on for about 10 years. We connected from the start, and what began as work conversation quickly turned into txting each other pretty regularly. Flirting happened daily, we found ways to see each other outside of work (going to bars, meeting in parking lots, etc. etc.). Quickly a routine formed of calling one another when we left the office for lunch, or talking to one another on the drive home from work. We talked to one another about everything. She would wear things to work that she knew I liked. You guys get it.

About a month into it, we were both falling for one another pretty heavily. We were doing everything we could to talk to one another and spend time around one another. One day, we were talking and having a deep conversation, and she blurted out that she loved me. It took my completely by surprise, and I asked her what she had said. She wouldn�t repeat it. A few days later, we were talking again, but this time, I could tell she was upset. She said she was having a really hard time because she had completely fallen in love with me. I didn�t know what to say, so I said what my gut felt, that I had also fallen in love with her.

Things continued to go along fine, until about a week ago. She has completely turned on a dime, telling me that she needs to figure her stuff out and that she can�t feel pressured to make me happy and talk to me at the level she was. She is the type of person to never say no, so she over-commits herself with work responsibilities and social things � so she is really busy. I can�t let go of the fact that she told me she loved me, and that I told her the same. She�s married, and I have been with someone off and on for 10 years, why would either of us say that?

What do I do? How do I let go of her and stop reliving all the time we shared and the way we talked? Every day I see her at work I get depressed because I know she just wants it to be professional, but all I do is sit in my office looking at my phone to see if the txt light is blinking. The worst part is that is was so abrupt. I know I need to give her space and let her figure her life out, but I can�t. I�m a very indecisive person. I like routine and comfort. And for the first time in my life I considered leaving my girlfriend to be with this girl. I'm completely obsessing. How do I give her what she wants but still make sure she knows how I feel? How can I be sure what she said was true and not just bs?

[Lemsip]

Don't go there bro, she's married. She probably realized what she's getting into.

Cheating is never a good thing. If someone can cheat with you, what's stopping them cheating on you?

[crazy8ball420]

I know. There hasn't been anything more than hugging. I told her from early on that she meant a lot to me and that I wouldn't let her cheat. So I mean I guess that's good that I made sure to stay in control and not let anything happen (and there were numerous perfect opportunities). I just can't stop thinking about what we were doing, and missing it. I'm obsessing over the way she used to talk to me or the way she used to look at me, and it's just frustrating the hell out of me. I mean it has to mean something that within 2 months a girl has me ready to leave my gf of 10 years. I've meet and worked with a lot of girls over the years, none that made me consider it before.

[Wakeup]

I like routine and comfort. And for the first time in my life I considered leaving my girlfriend to be with this girl.

If this were actually true about you then the LAST thing you would be in is an off and on relationship. The second last thing you would do is get yourself involved with a married woman. While you cheat on the girl that you keep returning to.

I suggest you take you head out of the clouds and actually learn to understand the essence that is you.

Start by googling "Fear of Commitment" and you learn something about yourself.

In the meantime, leave the co-worker alone to figure out her own relationship while you do some reading and rehabing from your most current addiction (known as "Miss Married Co-worker) which is yet another non-committal "relationship" for you.

[Lemsip]

Go home, buy your girlfriend something nice, spend the evening with her, have a good time.
Make things amazing between you two again and you'll be able to get over the married woman obsession.

[magguu]

if you got something out of that woman, well and good.

but you did not get anything. you are just left used and tossed. recognize this very well. you may not be the first one to be used like this by her. she might have a bit more feelings for you than just attraction, but nothing like love. only you were too foolish to fall into it. I would say, you should have also used her the way she did instead of blurting out that you loved her ... anyway, be careful next time.

for now, go back to your GF and try to make her happy.

[JoeyJR]

wtf? -_-

Doin' married women is for chumps.

There is always another woman.

Look brah, you're just going to hit an uphill battle with these taken women. Some of them are slvtty and will cheat, others may have a weak point in their relationship

You might not feel so good about yourself too knowing your hurting some other dude who thinks his wife is being faithful....we're supposed to help a bro out, knowwhatI'm sayin?

[Ange Barnes]

Sometimes the allure that is there is enhanced by the fact that you are both treading dangerous ground - in that you are already involved with other people. Either neither of you were happy before you met or perhaps you were both happy until you met and that changed things. Which one was it?

[cheekxs]

I think you r late with yoir topic.shoulda have ask way before jumping into this with other pples wive.
You barely started work and you already making drama.you r hired to work.so do that.
You can never win from her husband.and from not losing your job.cause u r the new one in
Both.stupid of u to mess around.stop this mess andrespect other pple relationship.if yours is
a mess dont try to make hers also a on off mess.work on yours.

[heather_1]

I agree with lemsip, end things now and treat your girlfriend well and forget about it all, dont get involved with someone who is married

[surfhb]

I agree with Joey

Being the Other Guy seems like just a pussy place to be. How's it feel to be the #2 guy? Haha