Ladies, I did something stupid. I need advice.....please!

[canuckguy]

Hello board,

I am looking for some sound advice from a women regarding something a bit stupid I did this weekend. It is not "TOO" bad, but I feel bad about it.

Firstly, I am single and 34 years old.

I was drinking with some friends. I have been crushing on a friends girlfriend for months now. Never did anything except maybe stare at her for a bit too long at times.

In any event, we all got pretty hammered, and I was alone with her at the time. As a precursor to what I am about to say, as a single guy, I have this thing about open relationship couples. I have been with a few women lately you where attached, but in open relationships. Don't ask me why, it just really excited me...please don't judge. The way I see it, if everybody is okay with it, there is no harm no foul. I bring this up because I am not close with her boyfriend, they are more friends of friends to be fair.

Long story short, I asked her if they where an open couple. She said not really, but they had thought about it before. Another long story short, and not in these exact words, I said if it ever was possible, I think she is insanely beautiful (and she is) and was interested, to let me know. She said she was flattered that I thought she was so attractive, sort of smiled it off, and it ended there.

We where both really drunk, and she seemed to take it well without being too offended, but I feel really bad. I am a very harmless, nice guy, and would never try anything unless I knew it was alright, but I feel bad for even asking such a question.

I REALLY hope she was as relaxed about the situation as she seemed. If she told him, he would probably work his fist out on my face, so I REALLY hope she lets it go.

Should I intervene in any way? Should I talk to her, him, or assume it is swept under the rug. I think it is forgotten in a sense, but I am nervous about it.

I suppose the good news is, I am moving FAR FAR away in two weeks, and could possibly never see them again. However, there friends, who I AM close to, might hear about it, and be rather pissed off at me.

Any input is greatly appreciated.

I feel like a douchebag..........

[smackie9]

You don't know unless you ask. You didn't partake in any means of cheating so there is no harm done. All you did was ask a question and by doing so all you gave her a little ego boost that I'm sure she will keep under her hat. Women get hit on, it's just part of life for us females.

[smackie9]

If this the lifestyle you are into, check out the personals......

[TheCafeTerrace]

Meh, it's no big deal, don't beat yourself up.

[canuckguy]

Thanks for the input, I do appreciate it.

[MerryH]

Should I intervene in any way?

Good god, no. Don't bring this up again.

You awkwardly propositioned a girl for sex. It didn't work. Try to forgive yourself and then forget you ever did that (while also remembering not to approach it that way ever again.) If her boyfriend or your friends bring it up, just say, "Yeah, that was really retarded of me. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry I said that to her." Then tactfully change the subject.

[Wakeup]

Don't they have Adult web sites that you could have gone to in order to get your kink on? Thankfully you realize that soliciting people who are in relationships already that you actually know for extra curricular sport screwing is crossing boundaries and you'll not do it again, Right?

I think the woman in an open relationship would be confident enough to approach you if she was into such a thing and if she's not coming forward with a proposition then you err on the side of caution and consider friends wives/partners totally off limits.

You're leaving the scene so just take the lesson with you.

[smackie9]

It's a better idea not to use your own social circle as part of your search......people talk.

[cheekxs]

I hope he beats your teeth out/

You are very immoral! And desrespectfulness person.

Now you are afraid for his bf? ahahhahaha, stupid!
You shoulda have think about way before have such a talk with her.

You need to respect other peoples relationships.

If you have to have a immoral life, stick into it by yourself. Why are you go around asking or mislead people into
your poor fantasy world?!

I have never heard of people talking like this about relationship. And g around asking others(and other peoples partner)
to have a open relationship.
If you believe that open relationship exist, i most say you need to get console.
Cause its telling me that you have some really bad issues that you need to take care off before even dating.
Maybe some strong commitment issues, or afraid for getting hurt.etc.
Cause no normal healthy person wants their men or woman to be hanging or even looking to another men.

So you may have some very low self esteem 2!

You dont want us to judge you. Im not judging you either . I know less
people will tell you the truth in your face.!
So this is the hard truth!

Go find out what is standing in your way/what kind of fear is holding you back from having a nice decent and respectful life and relationship.

[smackie9]

For you to step over someones boundries, like a close friend, is very impulsive behavior. I would think that you have commitment issues, insecurity about giving yourself completely to another person, and trust them to do the same. You can't go any further with someone other than for the sexual "thrill".......pretty sad that you can't find satisfaction in being in a monogamous relationship. Your life is more empty/unfulfilling than you think.

Cheexs and I are both seeing this.

[TheCafeTerrace]

For you to step over someones boundries, like a close friend, is very impulsive behavior.

He was drunk, drink chemically induces impulsive behavior. It's understandable.

And you've just assumed he won't be happy in a monogamous relationship. Maybe he would be, but even if he isn't right now that's not necessarily a sign of insecurity or commitment issues. Some people just enjoy being single it sometimes.

As he says, no harm no foul.

[smackie9]

He was drunk, drink chemically induces impulsive behavior. It's understandable.

And you've just assumed he won't be happy in a monogamous relationship. Maybe he would be, but even if he isn't right now that's not necessarily a sign of insecurity or commitment issues. Some people just enjoy being single it sometimes.

As he says, no harm no foul.

I posted that for him to respond to not you. I want to hear it from him, how he feels about my comment.

[Ange Barnes]

Nothing happened yeah - besides words? Let it go.. you're probably not the first person who's made the suggestion to her...

[cheekxs]

He was drunk, drink chemically induces impulsive behavior. It's understandable.

And you've just assumed he won't be happy in a monogamous relationship. Maybe he would be, but even if he isn't right now that's not necessarily a sign of insecurity or commitment issues. Some people just enjoy being single it sometimes.

As he says, no harm no foul.

drunk enough to know exactly what happen, to tell us on this forum.
you are to naive! hahahahhha, he got you ! Not us!

[TheCafeTerrace]

Are you telling me that there's no point of inebraition for you between being slightly more impulsive than normal and complete memory blackouts? Stupid as ever Cheekxs.