So.. What do you do when you receive this message from your ex girlfriend?

[lna]

Me and my ex girlfriend broke up a year ago but we never distanced each other because there's still feelings.. she forced herself into a rebound relationship after we broke up but here's what she sent me the other day after the umpteenth girl making her jealous:

I cant take it anymore seriously. I have the jealously eating away my stomach and everytime I feel the urge to send you a mess to tell you how I feel. I miss you so much Lorenzo and I'm tired of looking at our pictures and crying everynight and then loggin on and seeing her stupid posts. I havent slept in a week and I'm planning on talking to Armando (bf). Cuz I can't stay in a relationship while thinkng of you. You are always on my mind and it s a constant thought. Every morning I wake up and when I don't know where or who you are with or that somebody could treat you in some way that could hurt you I get angry and I get knots in my stomach. I'm dying everyday little by little and I dont want to hurt him but I know that with him it's not meant to be. I needed a change in my life a year ago to get away from my old life cuz I felt like i needed to live but thruout these months I've realized that i can't live without you. I can't see anyone else by my side besides you. And its fruatrating because I felt as if l'ho preso per il culo in all this time but I can't control my feelings.


She said she broke up with him and they are friends now. SO.. WHAT THE HECK DO I DO NOW.. She's currently on a school trip and she'll be back in 8 days.. Her status on facebook is still set as in a relationship with him, i talked to her about it but she said that thing is meaningless.. any advice on how I should act from now on? Thanks guys..

Ps. I still love her and I want her back.

[searock]

It's not that difficult, seeing as you both want the same thing. Just tell her you want to get back together too.

[lna]

It's not that difficult, seeing as you both want the same thing. Just tell her you want to get back together too.

Yeah.. But she said she needs some time for herself first.. I feel as if I need to give her the feeling that I'm not gonna be there waiting in vain.. But how? An idea would be keep making her feel jealous..

[TheCafeTerrace]

An idea would be keep making her feel jealous..

Yeah, if you're a douchebag.

How old are you? Life's far too short for these stupid games. If you like her tell her.

[smackie9]

I wouldn't buy into it. If I received a message like that I would think they were too unstable to even consider a relationship with me..... a total nut job IMO.

[lna]

I wouldn't buy into it. If I received a message like that I would think they were too unstable to even consider a relationship with me..... a total nut job IMO.

She's a bit unstable but i hate myself for loving her so much. I truly want to get back together with her... it's the whole thing of not changing her status on facebook that smells fishy to me.. if she is thinking about fooling me sending that chick that makes her jealous away and make me wait in vain then i'll cut ties with her cause the message she sent me is pretty explicit stuff and i would be very upset..

[Wakeup]

Why did you break up with her in the first place and, has that reason been rectified? There is absolutely NO reason to go back to the same crap, different day so if nothing has changed, if she hasn't gotten help for her obvious unstableness, then why would you subject yourself to her again?
It takes way more than loving someone to make a relationship work. It's also takes more than sex with a chick with "Ism's" to make a relationship work as well.

So: Why did you break up?

[lna]

Why did you break up with her in the first place and, has that reason been rectified? There is absolutely NO reason to go back to the same crap, different day so if nothing has changed, if she hasn't gotten help for her obvious unstableness, then why would you subject yourself to her again?
It takes way more than loving someone to make a relationship work. It's also takes more than sex with a chick with "Ism's" to make a relationship work as well.

So: Why did you break up?

She broke up with me because she wanted something new (as she wrote in this text message), she played it off with "you changed" months ago but at the end she lost attraction at the time to me and she needed something new.. i believe her unstableness comes from the fact that she grew up being brought back and forth from italy to the us she did years of school in america, years in the us, then back to italy.. so she probably doesn't even know what being stable somewhere feels like..

[Wakeup]

Well, if she's gotten the "something new" out of her system then quit playing games and get back together if that's what you want. If you can actually NOT hold her dumping you for something "better" and then asking to return when the grass wasn't as green as she thought it would be. Can you do that? Not care at all about that or the fact that she's been with someone else? (Many people can't for some reason important only to them).

As for her unstableness.. I'm thinking it's more emotional then geographical. Why does she want you back if she thought you changed and she lost attraction to you because of it?

In any case, I suggest you don't take her back until you know for certain that she's totally dropped Mr Something Better, has changed her Facebook Status (because if those things mean "nothing" then why did she annouce it at all) and, she has deleted him completely including being his friend. If she means what she says to and about you, then doing those things will come very easy to her.

[lna]

Yeah i can do that.. She wants me back because i handled the break up like an alpha male does.. as it was nothing.. also cause i really changed in good.. i'm a more dateable person inside and outside..

and you are totally right about not taking her back until she does all those things! Seeing is believing.. words are nothing.. I WANT FACTS.

[smackie9]

You are a more dateable person because you got out of her clutches....you found out you have some self worth....don't lose that.

[lna]

You are a more dateable person because you got out of her clutches....you found out you have some self worth....don't lose that.

What can i say... you resumed 365 days in a sentence the way you perceive yourself to be is more important than the way the others sees you.. The way i relate myself to her now is as "i'm the prize" she sees a high status person in me and that's why she found herself attracted to me again.. women tend to be emotional vampires to their exes right after the break up.. leeching off all the happiness from them and substituting it with hurt, shame and regret.. i did not allow that to happen so there's she is again..

[Wakeup]

What can i say... you resumed 365 days in a sentence the way you perceive yourself to be is more important than the way the others sees you.. The way i relate myself to her now is as "i'm the prize" she sees a high status person in me and that's why she found herself attracted to me again.. women tend to be emotional vampires to their exes right after the break up.. leeching off all the happiness from them and substituting it with hurt, shame and regret.. i did not allow that to happen so there's she is again..

This reburbished 'thing' you two have going on won't last long. She doesn't even know what she wants and you're too cocky, thinking things like "the prize" to give what needs to be given of yourself to make a relationship work.

I suspect she'll find you've "changed" again very quickly. Maybe I'll be wrong but I'm old enough to know that odds are not in your favour that she will be your life partner. Have fun in the meantime.

[searock]

Do the rational thing - tell her that you are willing to give it another shot, so you expect her to change her facebook status straight away, and give her a date and time in which you'll see each other. Put her in front of the facts, cause right now it seems like she's just fantasising in her mind.

[dickriculous]

Yeah i can do that.. She wants me back because i handled the break up like an alpha male does.. as it was nothing.. also cause i really changed in good.. i'm a more dateable person inside and outside..

and you are totally right about not taking her back until she does all those things! Seeing is believing.. words are nothing.. I WANT FACTS.

You're becoming a victim of your own ego here. She "wants you back" because you handled the break up like an alpha male? Really? I don't buy that for a second. She left you for something fresh and new. She didn't find anything fresh and new (or it wasn't as good as it seemed before she found it). She wants you back (if she really even wants you back) because she couldn't get anything fresh and new (or again, it wasn't as good as it seemed) so she's returning to what she sees as her safety net. But she's already shown you that if she sees something fresh and new she has no problem leaving you in order to pursue it. The attachment to a safety net (in a relationship sense) is, after all, an extremely fickle attachment.

If it were me, no way in hell would I hook back up with her. I don't know if she's manipulating you or she just honest to God has no idea what love is and what's good for her or for you but either way this will not end well.

The way i relate myself to her now is as "i'm the prize" she sees a high status person in me and that's why she found herself attracted to me again..

Look, don't get me wrong. I'm sure you are a desirable and attractive dude (no homo), but you're blinding yourself with your ego here. You're convinced she wants you back because you're the shit even though you admitted earlier in this very same thread that she's unstable. Put two and two together here and one comes to the conclusion that she wants you back because she's unstable and has no idea what she wants. I have a feeling that if you indeed choose to hook back up with her your "I'm the prize" bubble will get burst before long. If you get back together and live happily ever after, feel free to get back to me and make me eat my words. Even if it doesn't sound like it I really would be happy for you if that happens, all I'm saying is that if I had to guess I'm not guessing in your favor.