After friend and I made out, it is now awkward...

[Wakeup]

Ya he definitely likes you a lot, and he was under the impression you really liked him too, now he feels you friend zoned him so he is moving on. Tip: guys that make that kind of effort is their way of showing you they have an interest in you. They don't need anymore friends, they want a GF.

Or an just an orgasm! I may be wrong but I think there are other ways of showing a girl that they want her for a gf then stripping down to one's boxer's (without any provocation) and trying to **** her before he's even taken her out one-on-one for a bit of non-sexual fun. Also known as an invitation or a date. O_o

Op: "Good friends" don't leave you or ignore you because you wouldn't screw them. (seems that's what he's done) Next time a "friend" that has never asked you out drops trow and does what he did.. don't go to bed with him and get him all worked up just to say "no" to him. Simply ask "what are you doing? And then wait for him to explain himself. Perhaps you can explain yourself as well (like how you like him but you're not ready for what he is attempting to make happen)

A guy can like you and even cuddle with you before getting down to business but it certainly doesn't mean that he wants anything more than to get bizzzy with you.

Back off from caring and trying to be with someone who supposedly likes you but won't have anything else to do with you now that you told him "no."

[searock]

Or an just an orgasm! I may be wrong but I think there are other ways of showing a girl that they want her for a gf then stripping down to one's boxer's (without any provocation) and trying to **** her before he's even taken her out one-on-one for a bit of non-sexual fun. Also known as an invitation or a date. O_o

I would agree with you in most cases, but in this case, judging by the OP's incredible incapability of understanding, I bet the poor guy had been trying to show her that he is into her in maaany ways, before the boxer thing. She just doesn't get it.

OP, did you do what we advised you to do? Did you ask him to meet, to talk about what happened? I can't believe you're still waiting for *him* to do something. The ball is clearly in your court. The longer you wait, the more he'll think that you aren't interested and move on. At this point, even if you ask him to meet and he refuses, you can't know for sure that it's because he just wanted to use you for sex. So much time has passed, he's probably convinced you hate him or something.

In other words, DO SOMETHING!

[smackie9]

I saw him today because we are in the same student group on campus and he is completely avoiding me and won't even say even when he is literally 5 feet away from me and he stares at me knowing i am there.

Just go up to him, smile and say "let's talk".

[Wakeup]

I would agree with you in most cases, but in this case, judging by the OP's incredible incapability of understanding, I bet the poor guy had been trying to show her that he is into her in maaany ways, before the boxer thing. She just doesn't get it.

She doesn't say that he showed that he was into her for more than a jump though, Sea. Maybe I missed it? Can you point out where he actually showed her (other than sexually) that he wanted to be with her for more than boxer-less fun? I see no hand holding, arms being put around her, asking her out one-on-one or outright hints.

OP, did you do what we advised you to do? Did you ask him to meet, to talk about what happened? I can't believe you're still waiting for *him* to do something. The ball is clearly in your court. The longer you wait, the more he'll think that you aren't interested and move on.

OP: You can certainly try to talk to him (yet again) but, to me, a guy who would go on ignore after what he did, without at least going in for another kiss at some point post boxer-incident, means that he's not that interested, he's just embarassed or, he thinks you're a cock teaser and has written you off.

At this point, even if you ask him to meet and he refuses, you can't know for sure that it's because he just wanted to use you for sex. So much time has passed, he's probably convinced you hate him or something.

I could be wrong here but a guy who has enough confidence to strip down to his boxers and jump in your bed uninvited certainly wouldn't be that intimidated by a turn-down for sex.

In other words, DO SOMETHING!

Before you do anything, may I suggest you sit yourself down and ask yourself would you really want to be in some sort of unplatonic relationship with this guy. If the answer is "no" I just wanted to be his friend then remember this lesson.. Don't be encouraging a guy who strips and gets into your bed whom you only want to be platonic friends with. Cuddling with an opposite sex friend, getting into bed with them is just a recipe for two very confused young adults. If you want more with the guy then ask him to define what is about to happen or, ask him "what now" after is does happen so that you'll not need to start threads that end up confusing you even more with the differing opinions.

[searock]

She doesn't say that he showed that he was into her for more than a jump though, Sea. Maybe I missed it? Can you point out where he actually showed her (other than sexually) that he wanted to be with her for more than boxer-less fun? I see no hand holding, arms being put around her, asking her out one-on-one or outright hints.

I have a feeling that there were lots of hints, she just wasn't able to recognize them. Even now, she still doubts that her "friend" likes her in a physical sense! Here's how I see it: she broke up with his friend, so he saw a chance. He started getting close as a friend, inviting her to parties at his place and doing social stuff with other people as well. Then he progressed to ask her to meet by themselves, more than once:

Among many other times, he texted me asking to hang out.

Also:

we pregamed at my place for a while, talked and he got obsessed with my bed. we ended up going to the bars and had a good time and met up with some of his friends who I knew. after the bars we were going to go to another house that was far away, and we went back to my place and he fell for my bed again. we ended up just talking on my bed and just laying there and our feet touched each other.

Sounds like a date to me. It also sounds like things like this happened more than once... she thought it was normal "friendly" behavior, but obviously it is not.

I could be wrong here but a guy who has enough confidence to strip down to his boxers and jump in your bed uninvited certainly wouldn't be that intimidated by a turn-down for sex.

Not necessarily. Maybe he thought that she was flirting right back at him (as ANY guy would, in his situation), and he thought the date was going to have a "happy ending" (aka sex), so he tried a playful, cute way to set the mood or something. She evidently appreciated it, or she wouldn't have gone right under the blankets with him and made out. He was probably surprised when she turned down sex, and the next morning he was too embarrassed and hurt to talk about it. He feels rejected, and I also think that he believes she just made him waste his time. This is why he ignores her, and why she should initiate "the talk", to clear everything out.

Before you do anything, may I suggest you sit yourself down and ask yourself would you really want to be in some sort of unplatonic relationship with this guy. If the answer is "no" I just wanted to be his friend then remember this lesson.. Don't be encouraging a guy who strips and gets into your bed whom you only want to be platonic friends with. Cuddling with an opposite sex friend, getting into bed with them is just a recipe for two very confused young adults. If you want more with the guy then ask him to define what is about to happen or, ask him "what now" after is does happen so that you'll not need to start threads that end up confusing you even more with the differing opinions.

I completely agree. This is so obvious I find it really incredible she couldn't see it for herself.

[Wakeup]

I have a feeling that there were lots of hints, she just wasn't able to recognize them. Even now, she still doubts that her "friend" likes her in a physical sense! Here's how I see it: she broke up with his friend, so he saw a chance. He started getting close as a friend, inviting her to parties at his place and doing social stuff with other people as well.

I got the impression that she was hanging out with all the mutual friends she made/met when she was with her ex.

Then he progressed to ask her to meet by themselves, more than once:

Merely to hang out and to co-ordinate their volunteering. That is not a date nor is it a sign of interest beyond platonic friendship.

Also:

Sounds like a date to me.

How so? It's no different then two girls haging out and doing what they did.

It also sounds like things like this happened more than once... she thought it was normal "friendly" behavior, but obviously it is not.

it was normal friendly behaviour as it is no different then such. Why would she think anything other then it being "normal friendly behaviour" if it's the norm for them as friends to be doing what they have done? (not including chucking boxers of course and dry humping without provocation which I believe he only did once and to him, apparently its normal but it doesn't mean he wants her for his girlfriend. It just means he has no filters.)

Not necessarily. Maybe he thought that she was flirting right back at him (as ANY guy would, in his situation),

Maybe he did think she was flirting back but does that give him the right to do what he did? Why not ease up to flirting with a kiss with the boxers on, away from her "obsessed with" bed? That way she would get the actual idea that he was thinking of her for more than sex if he took it one step at a time.[/quote]

and he thought the date was going to have a "happy ending" (aka sex), so he tried a playful, cute way to set the mood or something.

Well obviously when she joined him, he thought he was going to have a happy ending which is my point. If she wasnt going to give him said happy ending, then dont be jumping into bed and acting like you want what he is giving.

She evidently appreciated it, or she wouldn't have gone right under the blankets with him and made out.

Youre the one that keeps saying shes clueless to this type of thing and the "hints" that she hasnt been taking ) I'm trying to educate her.

He was probably surprised when she turned down sex, and the next morning he was too embarrassed and hurt to talk about it. He feels rejected, and I also think that he believes she just made him waste his time. This is why he ignores her, and why she should initiate "the talk", to clear everything out.

It's odd that you blame her for everything and how this transpired when it was him (according to the opentin post) that wasnt clear that he wanted more than a jump in bed and remain friends kinda deal. Certainly he is feeling "rejected" and that's his own fault as well for assuming by dropping trow instead of just going in for a decent and passionate kiss and gauging her reaction instead of doing what he did and embarassing HIMSELF.

I completely agree. This is so obvious I find it really incredible she couldn't see it for herself.

Yes.

Well two entirely different perspectives for you to consider YoYoBabe.

All I know for sure is that If I had a friend who never even kissed me prior to jumping under the covers of my bed after getting down to his skivies, I'd not have joined him without a discussion about the two of us and if afterwards he actually wanted to pursue some sort of exclusive relationship with me to see where it all ended up. That way no one is dissappointed due to not having their unvoiced expectations met.

[yoyobabe01]

wow thanks for all this analyzing! for some reason, my friends have been thinking the same thing sort of that I rejected him and he is embarrassed.

ALSO yesterday, in our meeting for our student group we are both in, we saw each other and caught each other's eyes but he didn't give off a "happy to see you" face. I texted him to ask if there is anything off between us, and what if he doesn't text back?

[Wakeup]

Wait to see if he doesn't text back. What will you say if he does?

[yoyobabe01]

He prob wont admit it or say yes but im planning on saying something like "it just seems like since the last time we have hung out we havent seemed very approachable to one another" or something like that? what if he doesnt text me back?

[searock]

If your mutual friends also think that he's just embarrassed and hurt, I'm pretty sure that it's the case. Instead of texting him, why don't you just talk to him directly?! Better than nothing anyway.

Wakeup, I don't think that is normal friendly behavior because I have male friends, and none of them would ever "get obsessed with my bed" or lay on it with me, never mind "with our feet touching". The events she described that happened that night are not what two male-female regular friends would do, IMO, unless they've known each other for a VERY long time and are completely comfortable with their friendship. Even without the whole "laying in bed together" thing, they didn't go to the party as friends - they went as a couple. Otherwise they could've just met there directly, right?

Basically everything the OP has described tells me that he has been courting her for months, she just didn't see it.

As for what he did that night, I personally think it's a fun and sweet idea, and I wouldn't mind if a good friend of mine whom I have been flirting with for a couple of months "surprised" me that way (assuming we were both single of course). It would be a pleasant surprise actually :-). Clearly she thought the same thing - she just couldn't realize why.

Oh, OP, if he doesn't text you back, do what you should have done in the first place: talk to him in person.

[yoyobabe01]

he said 'no why?' and I explained like above and he hasn't responded to that

[searock]

Talk to him IN PERSON.

If he is embarrassed to the point of trying to ignore you, he CLEARLY isn't going to talk via text message. Next time you have study group together, go up to him and tell him you want to talk - then once you're alone, ask him about that night and what it meant to him. Then tell him what it meant to you. Problem solved!!!

[yoyobabe01]

he responded 'k well we are fine in my eyes'

[Wakeup]

If your mutual friends also think that he's just embarrassed and hurt, I'm pretty sure that it's the case.

No one is disputing that he is most likely embarrassed and hurt. The fact of how he handled this so poorly ~ he deserves to reap the consequences of his actions.

Instead of texting him, why don't you just talk to him directly?! Better than nothing anyway.

If you want to talk to him about this, Op then I agree you should do it one-on-one.

Wakeup, I don't think that is normal friendly behavior because I have male friends, and none of them would ever "get obsessed with my bed" or lay on it with me, never mind "with our feet touching".

Just the ones that weren’t attracted to you do you mean, or any of them? Doesn't matter what your male friends would and wouldn't do... just because they wouldn't, it doesn't mean that this guy wouldn't.
It also doesn't mean that just because he did what he did means that he wants her for more than what she wouldn't give him. That is all I'm saying. Encouraging Op to just talk to him without educating her on what she did that she could have done differently isn't my way of answering threads. I can see other explanations then "he obviously likes you." That's all.

The events she described that happened that night are not what two male-female regular friends would do, IMO, unless they've known each other for a VERY long time and are completely comfortable with their friendship. Even without the whole "laying in bed together" thing, they didn't go to the party as friends - they went as a couple. Otherwise they could've just met there directly, right?

No, not necessarily. If they went as a couple, then why does this thread exist? If she knew she was his girlfriend then why is he avoiding her? It's ambiguous behavior at best that could be the he likes her for more than a friend which, as I've said before, still doesn't mean that he wants to be her boyfriend. He could simply want to have sex and then keep it no strings FWB? No one really knows and to say "obviously he likes you" means nothing because the fact that he was her platonic friend also means that he "likes/ed" her.

Basically everything the OP has described tells me that he has been courting her for months, she just didn't see it.

Basically everything the OP has described tells me that he, at one point, wanted to have sex with her but she turned him down and then he fled the scene. It does not say that he courted her in any way other then as platonic friends.

As for what he did that night, I personally think it's a fun and sweet idea, and I wouldn't mind if a good friend of mine whom I have been flirting with for a couple of months "surprised" me that way (assuming we were both single of course). It would be a pleasant surprise actually :-). Clearly she thought the same thing - she just couldn't realize why.

Clearly? Hardly or this thread wouldn't exist. What is clear as that you and I don't agree, and that's okay. I like to give an opening poster other perspectives. I could be totally off base (as could you) but it's anything but "clear."
As for what he did being "fun and a sweet idea." Well, I would think that too if we were actually established or he had been kissing me and working his way up to that particular event. At that point however, he hadn't even kissed her so at that point; it would be presumptuous and assuming of him in my opinion.

Oh, OP, if he doesn't text you back, do what you should have done in the first place: talk to him in person.

Yes.. you should have talked to him the minute he tried that stunt and discussed your feelings and motivations with one another . . . and please, Op don't be getting into bed with a platonic friend who up to that point you haven't felt has been courting you or giving you the impression that he wanted to be your boyfriend in the romantic sense. Doing so just causes this kind of confusion and ambiguity more times than not.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to give another slant to this thread, Sea.

[yoyobabe01]

what about the last text he sent me?