After friend and I made out, it is now awkward...

[smackie9]

OMG just go talk to him will ya!!!!!!!

[Wakeup]

"K well we are fine in my eyes." pffft. You gave him every opportunity to save face and he hasn't even been coming half-way to meet you and make things less awkward or stand-offish. That is NOT the actions of a boy who wants you for more than a platonic friend or a friend with benefits. If you want to tell him that you want him for more than a friend then go ahead... but only do that if that is exactly what you want.

He's clearly told you that you are fine in his eyes so just continue on as you were or, distance yourself and see if he makes an effort to really make things "fine" or actually ask to talk to him and tell him that YOU are actually feeling awkward after what happened and what does he think about trying to upgraded your relationship to something other than "just friends."

Good luck.

[searock]

Doesn't matter what your male friends would and wouldn't do... just because they wouldn't, it doesn't mean that this guy wouldn't.

I was using my male friends as an example as to what *friendship* between male and female should be like. If a guy lays next to you on your bed when you are alone in your room and your feet touch or whatever, clearly he isn't "just a friend" - unless you're childhood friends and he's like a brother, or something. But that's very rare, and clearly not this case.

It also doesn't mean that just because he did what he did means that he wants her for more than what she wouldn't give him. That is all I'm saying. Encouraging Op to just talk to him without educating her on what she did that she could have done differently isn't my way of answering threads. I can see other explanations then "he obviously likes you." That's all.

I see your point, and surely there might be other explanations. I'm just saying what I think is the right explanation, based on the information I have. As for the fact that she shouldn't have jumped into bed with him without at least deciding that she liked him as "more than a friend", I completely agree, as I said. That's just plain dumb, IMO.

If they went as a couple, then why does this thread exist? If she knew she was his girlfriend then why is he avoiding her?

I wasn't clear: I meant that they went together, as a couple would, not as a couple *of friends* would. They weren't a couple, but they acted like one.

It's ambiguous behavior at best that could be the he likes her for more than a friend which, as I've said before, still doesn't mean that he wants to be her boyfriend. He could simply want to have sex and then keep it no strings FWB? No one really knows and to say "obviously he likes you" means nothing because the fact that he was her platonic friend also means that he "likes/ed" her.

I believe I used the phrase "likes you in a physical sense", or something along those lines, so I wasn't referring to "liking as a friend" (which is not obvious btw, if as you say he only wanted to have sex with her). What I've been saying since the start is that the OP should ASK HIM precisely what he meant with what he did that night - only AFTER she herself made up her own mind as to whether *she* is into him or not. I honestly don't get why she still hasn't done it!

Basically everything the OP has described tells me that he, at one point, wanted to have sex with her but she turned him down and then he fled the scene. It does not say that he courted her in any way other then as platonic friends.

Yes, that is just my assumption, based on the information I have. I may be wrong of course, it's just the feeling I get, especially since the OP seems to be so completely clueless, which is what makes me suspect that he had in fact been courting her for months without her ever realizing. His behavior that night was too weird to just come out of the blue, I'm sure there had to be something before that that she didn't see.

Clearly? Hardly or this thread wouldn't exist.

She did think it was a good idea at the time, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten under the blankets with him and made out. She only got "confused" later on, hence this thread.

Which makes me wonder - what did you expect would happen, OP??

As for what he did being "fun and a sweet idea." Well, I would think that too if we were actually established or he had been kissing me and working his way up to that particular event. At that point however, he hadn't even kissed her so at that point; it would be presumptuous and assuming of him in my opinion.

You're probably right, but I can think of at least a situation (with a good friend with whom I've been flirting for a couple months, both single) in which I would appreciate it :-). It largely depends on the mood of the moment.

Yes.. you should have talked to him the minute he tried that stunt and discussed your feelings and motivations with one another . . . and please, Op don't be getting into bed with a platonic friend who up to that point you haven't felt has been courting you or giving you the impression that he wanted to be your boyfriend in the romantic sense. Doing so just causes this kind of confusion and ambiguity more times than not.

This should go without saying (in this case it has to be said because unfortunately the OP seems to not be aware of it...).

OP... you are quite exasperating. Why don't you just talk to him? What is stopping you? Do you need to hide behind text messages in order to communicate with a *good friend*?

[yoyobabe01]

I said 'well sorry I was shocked as hell by something I was not expecting...'

[searock]

I'm wondering if she even reads our replies...

Anyway, a text message conversation is better than no conversation at all, I guess... Straight to the point, which is good. Keep us updated!

[Wakeup]

Op: Gah! You're being EVEN MORE AMBIGUOUS by texting shit like that... Please, just tell him that you are confused because after you made out, he seems to have distanced himself from you and you'd like to talk about that night.

If I was him and I got that last text from you, after all this time has passed, I'd wonder what you were'nt expecting and what the hell shocked you.

Stop texting and set up a meet with him. If he won't meet with you like he did before without reservation, then you have your answer because that will indicate that he's no longer worth your confusion, time, or emotional upset and that he does not give you any consideration. If things are okay as far as he's concerned, then why wouldn't he meet up with you?

I'm wondering if she even reads our replies...

No kidding!

[searock]

Please, just tell him that you are confused because after you made out, he seems to have distanced himself from you and you'd like to talk about that night.

^^^^This!!!

[yoyobabe01]

trust me I am reading both of your replies lol

[searock]

So is there any particular reason for which you don't talk to him in person?

[yoyobabe01]

well i sent him him that last text and he did not respond to it, so with the whole "k well..." thing I am sure he just doesnt wanna talk about it....correct?

[searock]

Wasn't that obvious by the fact that he's been ignoring you ever since it happened? IF you want answers, it's up to *you* to bring up the subject, IN PERSON so he can't avoid it. If on the other hand you aren't that interested, then there is no problem.

How drunk was he that night?

[yoyobabe01]

He drank as much as I did ha, so not very much and by the time we got to my place we just talked and were sobered up by then

[searock]

Ok.

Talk to him in person, if you want answers.

[yoyobabe01]

but why is he being such a coward? he is avoiding the whole situation and he is the one who initiated everything

[searock]

Ask him, he's the only one who knows.