After friend and I made out, it is now awkward...

[yoyobabe01]

if he will talk to me then ill be glad to even if i have to tie him to a chair.

[searock]

Ok. Next time you see him, tell him you want to talk about what happened that night. Then you can ask him anything you want.

[Ange Barnes]

I think this guy is suffering from a small case of rejection... perhaps he was expecting it to be like the movies and the 'no' rocked his self-esteem...

Am sure you can pick up again... perhaps approach another get-together and broach your position then.

[IndiReloaded]

Geezus. Can we please have a guy (i.e. a 'Y' chromosome) post in this thread and cut all the bullshit analyzing? Its pretty simple what happened but I'm a fem, and I think a guy could do this better.

[Wakeup]

Yea.. the guy that this bloody thread is about would do nicely. Go ask him, OP. Any other guy would just be adding his own conjecture and analyzing just like the X's.

[Sixpacj]

No one is disputing that he is most likely embarrassed and hurt. The fact of how he handled this so poorly ~ he deserves to reap the consequences of his actions. If you want to talk to him about this, Op then I agree you should do it one-on-one.

Just the ones that weren’t attracted to you do you mean, or any of them? Doesn't matter what your male friends would and wouldn't do... just because they wouldn't, it doesn't mean that this guy wouldn't.
It also doesn't mean that just because he did what he did means that he wants her for more than what she wouldn't give him. That is all I'm saying. Encouraging Op to just talk to him without educating her on what she did that she could have done differently isn't my way of answering threads. I can see other explanations then "he obviously likes you." That's all.
No, not necessarily. If they went as a couple, then why does this thread exist? If she knew she was his girlfriend then why is he avoiding her? It's ambiguous behavior at best that could be the he likes her for more than a friend which, as I've said before, still doesn't mean that he wants to be her boyfriend. He could simply want to have sex and then keep it no strings FWB? No one really knows and to say "obviously he likes you" means nothing because the fact that he was her platonic friend also means that he "likes/ed" her.

Basically everything the OP has described tells me that he, at one point, wanted to have sex with her but she turned him down and then he fled the scene. It does not say that he courted her in any way other then as platonic friends.

Clearly? Hardly or this thread wouldn't exist. What is clear as that you and I don't agree, and that's okay. I like to give an opening poster other perspectives. I could be totally off base (as could you) but it's anything but "clear."
As for what he did being "fun and a sweet idea." Well, I would think that too if we were actually established or he had been kissing me and working his way up to that particular event. At that point however, he hadn't even kissed her so at that point; it would be presumptuous and assuming of him in my opinion.

Yes.. you should have talked to him the minute he tried that stunt and discussed your feelings and motivations with one another . . . and please, Op don't be getting into bed with a platonic friend who up to that point you haven't felt has been courting you or giving you the impression that he wanted to be your boyfriend in the romantic sense. Doing so just causes this kind of confusion and ambiguity more times than not.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to give another slant to this thread, Sea.

There is a lot of anger and vindictiveness in this post... And a lot of misunderstanding of basic male psychology. Which is why you should not post under ask a male if you're not one, or at least understand men.

[Sixpacj]

"K well we are fine in my eyes." pffft. You gave him every opportunity to save face and he hasn't even been coming half-way to meet you and make things less awkward or stand-offish. That is NOT the actions of a boy who wants you for more than a platonic friend or a friend with benefits. If you want to tell him that you want him for more than a friend then go ahead... but only do that if that is exactly what you want.

He's clearly told you that you are fine in his eyes so just continue on as you were or, distance yourself and see if he makes an effort to really make things "fine" or actually ask to talk to him and tell him that YOU are actually feeling awkward after what happened and what does he think about trying to upgraded your relationship to something other than "just friends."

Good luck.

What I wrote under your previous post. Get the out of "ask a male" threads. You're misleading the OP.

[smackie9]

Sixpacj stop wasting your time knit picking ....put it to better use by giving your view on the actual question at hand. The poor lady that started this thread is in need of your answer.

[searock]

you should not post under ask a male if you're not one, or at least understand men.

Not all men are the same, so you can't "understand men". You can "understand people", at best, and even then it's just a statistical average based on your experience.

Guys post in the "ask a female" section too, personally I enjoy seeing the different points of view. Why don't you offer yours, instead of criticising others'?

[Maple1714]

OP - the guy prob just wanted to have sex with you. How old are you guys? I am guessing he is a little shy, preppy but a semi-cool guy lol. You had been hanging out for a while as just friends and he was waiting until he felt comfortable enough to put the moves on you. I also assume that neither of you have a ton of sexual experience. Can I ask what type of shoes he wears (seriously I'm curious)...anyway you turned him down and he feels all weird about his own actions NOT YOURS. He doesn't have much experience with women (probably comes from a family where he is either an only child or mild child with brothers?)...so he is just avoiding talking about the subject with you b/c that's what guys do they avoid. He prob. didn't and doesnt really care what you think or want a relationship with you. He is just concerned about how he will be able to have sex with some other girl. You are waisting your time thinkig about him. That's what I think

[IndiReloaded]

What I wrote under your previous post. Get the out of "ask a male" threads. You're misleading the OP.

I don't see you actually posting your op, tho.

[smackie9]

OP - the guy prob just wanted to have sex with you. How old are you guys? I am guessing he is a little shy, preppy but a semi-cool guy lol. You had been hanging out for a while as just friends and he was waiting until he felt comfortable enough to put the moves on you. I also assume that neither of you have a ton of sexual experience. Can I ask what type of shoes he wears (seriously I'm curious)...anyway you turned him down and he feels all weird about his own actions NOT YOURS. He doesn't have much experience with women (probably comes from a family where he is either an only child or mild child with brothers?)...so he is just avoiding talking about the subject with you b/c that's what guys do they avoid. He prob. didn't and doesnt really care what you think or want a relationship with you. He is just concerned about how he will be able to have sex with some other girl. You are waisting your time thinkig about him. That's what I think

The guy is avoiding her probably because he has been friend zoned or led on in the past. Since she never communicated to him as to why she turned him down, he just assumed it was a repeat of his past experiences. Sure as shit, this will happen again with her if she doesn't learn to communicate properly. As you can see, she also has trouble with social "clues" (possible aspi?).

[yoyobabe01]

i didnt say yes cuz i was shocked enough as it is to make out with him, muchless sleep with him. for once it is not my problem and he is too good of a friend to lose a friendship over this. even though i was shocked, i did like it, or else i would have stopped much sooner.... he has been avoiding me and when I saw him he saw me and we met eyes but he gave off such a bad vibe and face.

[searock]

OP, don't tell me you still haven't talked to him... why did you even open this thread if you're not going to follow the advice in it?

[smackie9]

Oh I bet he's mad. He really liked you, you know and thought things were going right......now he feels led on, cock teased, deceived, he is hurt. Everything he ever thought of you has changed.....if you want to be a good friend have some decency and go right up to him and explain yourself.....clear the air as they say.

No your problem? You told him no! and didn't explain why.