After friend and I made out, it is now awkward...

[yoyobabe01]

cuz he is basically making an effort not to talk to me so he basically needs to grow a pair or have them dropped already... i am willing to talk to him for sure but appear in a needy/desperate way!! also we both have a decent amount of experience sexually. and he wears normal shoes like any straight guy and trust me he isnt gay especially based on the way he acted when i was on top of him and vise versa.

[searock]

What *should* he talk you about? He already made a move on you - *you* refused, not him. Now the ball is in your court.

Which is why you should talk to him. Don't let any more time pass, he'll only get more bitter.

[Sixpacj]

Sixpacj stop wasting your time knit picking ....put it to better use by giving your view on the actual question at hand. The poor lady that started this thread is in need of your answer.

So stop spewing forth your "knowledge" here and kindly wait for some males to post. One of the reasons men don't post in threads like this is because they are flooded by some PS-related vindictiveness, at worst, or simple ignorance at best. Men feel like their effort will go to waste if they bother to answer cause everything will be covered by a thick layer of shit resulting from said ignorance and self-hatred.

That said, yes I am a male, and yes the OP has rejected the guy which is why he will not reinitiate, and yes she should talk to him.

The "poor lady", I am afraid, does not need an answer. It seems she wants to hear what she thinks she already knows. Get some validation so she can feel "right"... Unless I am terribly mistaken, which happens ;-)

So, OP, talk to him, no "hinting", no bullshit, straight to the point. You will have your answer.

However, if that should be too much of a burden on your sense of "dignity", leave the poor guy in peace and never bother him again.

[searock]

So stop spewing forth your "knowledge" here and kindly wait for some males to post. One of the reasons men don't post in threads like this is because they are flooded by some PS-related vindictiveness, at worst, or simple ignorance at best. Men feel like their effort will go to waste if they bother to answer cause everything will be covered by a thick layer of shit resulting from said ignorance and self-hatred.

I don't think this is true. Also, I think *your* extreme concern for this is rather an index of your own insecurities. A man can understand another man as much as a woman can, and viceversa. Actually, women are generally better at understanding people (men *and* women), because they are generally more empathetic. There are exceptions.

That said, yes I am a male, and yes the OP has rejected the guy which is why he will not reinitiate, and yes she should talk to him.

The "poor lady", I am afraid, does not need an answer. It seems she wants to hear what she thinks she already knows. Get some validation so she can feel "right"... Unless I am terribly mistaken, which happens ;-)

So, OP, talk to him, no "hinting", no bullshit, straight to the point. You will have your answer.

However, if that should be too much of a burden on your sense of "dignity", leave the poor guy in peace and never bother him again.

So you agree with what most females on this thread have been saying all along. Ok.

I wish the OP would listen to our advice. She's making a big problem out of a tiny one.

[Sixpacj]

While obviously not all men are the same, all of them are the same in that:

1. The have the same genitals which produce the same hormones.
2. They experience the same, or at least very similar emotions, when they grow up, when they learn to use their powerful bodies, when they fall in love, have sex, etc.
3. They see females in the same way, and interprete female behaviour in a largely similar fashion.

If, by your own admission, you can't understand men, why do you bother posting here? The reason the OP asked the question is she needs advice form someone who understands men, their instincts and behaviours.

I often offer my advice, not often enough, admittedly. And I get very irritated when you offer your unsolicited "wisdom" on men when I can clearly see that you don't know anything about males and just try to interpret their behaviour as if they were females. And then you force your "opinions" on OPs. Which only serves to screw them deeper.

I find this useless and offensive. And for some reason beyond my grasp you fail to understand this.

For example, if I talked to another man about sex and what it feels to do it with a condom or without, he would know instantly what I talk about. And you never will, irrespective of how much you read about it, simply because you will never have experienced sticking an erect penis in a vagina.

Same goes for issues relating to emotions. You will simply never, ever, ever know what men feel in romantic situations. Sure, you can talk to men about it to find out, you can read about it, you will get a decent approximation, but you will never fully grasp it, simply cause you will have never experienced it like a man. And inevitably, the missing information you will fill out with what you know, which is being a female. But it's not the same.

So to conclude, there is a reason why this section is called "ask a male."

[Sixpacj]

1. I don't think this is true. Also, I think *your* extreme concern for this is rather an index of your own insecurities. A man can understand another man as much as a woman can, and viceversa. Actually, women are generally better at understanding people (men *and* women), because they are generally more empathetic. There are exceptions.

Not true. If it were true that women were so good at understanding others' emotions, including mens', there would only be an "ask a female" section here. Women are not better at understanding people.

How many posts are there under "ask a male" asking "what does this mean?", or something similar?


2. So you agree with what most females on this thread have been saying all along. Ok.

I wish the OP would listen to our advice. She's making a big problem out of a tiny one.

I agree with most of what is written here, but that does not mean you have suddenly become male.

But that is the difference between me and the OP. I know what the guy in question felt like in the interaction, so I know which of the answers is more or less accurate. I doubt the OP does.

Which is why she refuses to accept the information given. She just hopes to get validated that what she is doing is "right" .

[searock]

If, by your own admission, you can't understand men, why do you bother posting here? The reason the OP asked the question is she needs advice form someone who understands men, their instincts and behaviours.

I never said I can't understand men. I can understand some things about some men, and when I think I do, I offer my advice.

For example, if I talked to another man about sex and what it feels to do it with a condom or without, he would know instantly what I talk about. And you never will, irrespective of how much you read about it, simply because you will never have experienced sticking an erect penis in a vagina.

Which is why I wouldn't offer advice on a thread asking about those *purely physical* feelings.

You will simply never, ever, ever know what men feel in romantic situations. Sure, you can talk to men about it to find out, you can read about it, you will get a decent approximation, but you will never fully grasp it, simply cause you will have never experienced it like a man. And inevitably, the missing information you will fill out with what you know, which is being a female. But it's not the same.

We can agree to disagree.

So to conclude, there is a reason why this section is called "ask a male."

Yes, and the reason is, here you can ask for insight into male thoughts and behavior. Such insight can come from males or females.

If it were true that women were so good at understanding others' emotions, including mens', there would only be an "ask a female" section here. Women are not better at understanding people.

LOL, being better than men at understanding people does NOT mean "being perfect at understanding people". Far from it. Here's an article you might find illuminating: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/6409911/Women-better-at-picking-up-on-emotions-than-men.html

I agree with most of what is written here, but that does not mean you have suddenly become male.

XD what does this even mean?! When did I say I had "suddenly become male"?! People come on this forum to get insight on male behavior/thought, and when I think I can offer some (as in this case), I do. There are questions to which I can give no answer because obviously I don't understand *every single man* in *every single situation*, but I don't think this is one of them, so I gave my advice. Which could obviously be wrong, as could yours.

But that is the difference between me and the OP. I know what the guy in question felt like in the interaction, so I know which of the answers is more or less accurate. I doubt the OP does.

I could say the same thing.

Which is why she refuses to accept the information given. She just hopes to get validated that what she is doing is "right" .

Agreed. It's very annoying actually.

Funny how you're the only guy on this sub-forum that cares so much and gets so mad at females posting in it. I've seen lots of threads trolled by you. Why don't you just suck it up?

[yoyobabe01]

I am saying that I am accepting the info given along with the rocket science analysis yall have created. I want to talk to him and i am going to try but he avoids it. is there even a chance for us to be friends ever cuz of this?

[searock]

He can't avoid talking to you, if you walk up to him and tell him "we need to talk about what happened that night". Whether you can remain friends or not depends on what you will tell each other during that conversation.

Here are a few possible outcomes:
1. he has feelings for you but you don't reciprocate, so he wants to cut off the "friendship" so that he can move on more effectively.
2. you find out he actually just wanted to have sex with you and the "friendship" was just a way to get you into bed with him, so *you* decide to cut off the friendship because it was never even really there.
3. you both have feelings for each other and you decide to try getting into a relationship.
4. you become f*ck buddies.
5. you were just drunk and he is avoiding you because he doesn't actually like you and doesn't want you to believe that he does.

etc......... you will only find out by talking with him. Let us know how it goes!

[IndiReloaded]

That said, yes I am a male, and yes the OP has rejected the guy which is why he will not reinitiate, and yes she should talk to him.

Sounds right to me. The only issue now is that the OP seems to think the guy is making it hard for her to speak to him. I know how a female might approach this, but again, I'll ask the guys:

Given the situation, how would you, as a male, want a girl to approach you to sort this out. Assuming you are still interested in her. Somehow the "we need to talk about what happened" doesn't seem right. This is a guy whose ego has been bruised and, IMO, he has no guarantee based on this opening that he isn't going to have his nuts run through the crusher once again.

What are you offering him, yoyo (lol, you really are)? Did you make a mistake? Are you sorry for it? Would you like to start again and make it up to him somehow? This all assumes that you like him. Do you?

If you don't know what you want, then do him a favour and leave him alone, as Sixpacj already said.

[smackie9]

So stop spewing forth your "knowledge" here and kindly wait for some males to post. One of the reasons men don't post in threads like this is because they are flooded by some PS-related vindictiveness, at worst, or simple ignorance at best. Men feel like their effort will go to waste if they bother to answer cause everything will be covered by a thick layer of shit resulting from said ignorance and self-hatred.

That said, yes I am a male, and yes the OP has rejected the guy which is why he will not reinitiate, and yes she should talk to him.

The "poor lady", I am afraid, does not need an answer. It seems she wants to hear what she thinks she already knows. Get some validation so she can feel "right"... Unless I am terribly mistaken, which happens ;-)

So, OP, talk to him, no "hinting", no bullshit, straight to the point. You will have your answer.

However, if that should be too much of a burden on your sense of "dignity", leave the poor guy in peace and never bother him again.

I guess you didn't see my sarcasm in my last statement. oh well.

[searock]

I'll just quote my first post on this thread...

Are you interested in him romantically? Because he clearly is. If you are too, contact him and tell him to meet up so you can explain why you turned down sex, but it doesn't mean you don't want to date him and see how it goes. If you aren't interested, you haven't lost a good friend, you have "lost" a guy who had a crush on you.

The advice hasn't changed one bit. Obviously before you talk to him you have to figure out what you want.

[DerekDrake]

I got mad at my girl once and we didn't talk for 2 months. When I realized it was wrong to ignored her like that, I went to apologize to her and was really surprised by the fact she knew I will come back to her eventually and she was there patiently waiting.

That's my little-boring-story. So do you think you can give him sometime? Send him a last text saying you'll be waiting to hear from him(honestly mean it or not) and be safe(?!). That was my girl last message before we reconcile. I don't know if he's gonna fall for it or not but it moved me. I wish things will go well between you two.

[searock]

I got mad at my girl once and we didn't talk for 2 months.

Derek, I bolded the drastic differences between your case and the OP's.

[DerekDrake]

Derek, I bolded the drastic differences between your case and the OP's.

How are we so sure he didn't consider her his girl and he wasn't mad? He kept things bottled up just like I did.