ok ok ok ....a serious thread by me.

[Only-virgins]

Amen to that!

You have her house number, obviously she gave it to you at some point. NO HARM in a phone call. Hell I get random calls from people WAY back, most of the time to catch up. OV, get your self esteem intact and give her a damn call. It's not a big deal. It's easier said than done, but if you don't do it, you're going to end up still wondering what if? You've been doing it for 4 years. Good luck man.

Cdoc

That would be nice but I wasnt that close with her to a point were I could say "you want to catch up on old times"?

[Only-virgins]

Virgin, when you get laid, you HAVE to post your experience, complete with all the cynical commentary.

It will be hilarious! I can't wait. (You can, though, apparently, right? Bah dom dom pish!)

Why would I not be able to? You don't know me lol ...why would you think it would be funny and bad? I think I am fairly good looking enough and would be able to handle myself well during sex.

[Only-virgins]

I think that part of the reason for the mating game is to demonstrate a little bit of higher mental functioning. I mean, hey, MAYBE the reason we developed species intellect wasn't just to bag dinner, but to out-psych the opposite sex into the sack.

I could not dis-agree more. In-fact I am counting on you being wrong. I think that this girl thinks that I was a dumbass in high school...I dont really care...I just want to let her know how I feel. She can take it for what it is. I don't believe that I am stupid but I also do not have some special masters degree to show her either.

[indigosoul]

So, then, what IS the purpose of the game, hmmm? My experience has been that ALL romantic relationships start out with at least SOME amount of game-playing/flirting/dancing around the topic (call it what you want). Isn't the whole point of this to try and find out if enough mutual interest exists to continue? Or if not, then to elegantly extract oneself w/o too much embarrassment to either person? This requires SOME amount of intelligence, I think. Experience too, which is related to intelligence (learning from it).

It is a measure of the evolution of the relationship when the facade get dropped. I don't think this happens readily w/new couples (unless perhaps "friends first" cases). I mean, you can't wear your heart on your sleeve COMPLETELY from the start or you'll get very hurt.

Anway, I was just proposing that since we spend SO much mental energy on our relationships, that maybe THAT is what has driven our mental evolution. Instead of our becoming hunter-gatherers, as has been suggested... I bet most of our threads have been discussed around cave-fires MANY times...

[Only-virgins]

So, then, what IS the purpose of the game, hmmm? My experience has been that ALL romantic relationships start out with at least SOME amount of game-playing/flirting/dancing around the topic (call it what you want). Isn't the whole point of this to try and find out if enough mutual interest exists to continue? Or if not, then to elegantly extract oneself w/o too much embarrassment to either person? This requires SOME amount of intelligence, I think. Experience too, which is related to intelligence (learning from it).

It is a measure of the evolution of the relationship when the facade get dropped. I don't think this happens readily w/new couples (unless perhaps "friends first" cases). I mean, you can't wear your heart on your sleeve COMPLETELY from the start or you'll get very hurt.

Anway, I was just proposing that since we spend SO much mental energy on our relationships, that maybe THAT is what has driven our mental evolution. Instead of our becoming hunter-gatherers, as has been suggested... I bet most of our threads have been discussed around cave-fires MANY times...

What is this "game" you speak of?. I don't like to flirt or dance around a topic...I find it annoying to avoid the subject and truth. I wont argue on how our mind developed because its to far off the topic. A girl starts beating around the bush with me and I will just get annoyed and confused. I can not tell you what the purpose of the "game" is since I do not play it. I think that loving each other is enough of a mutual interest to continue. Considering the fact that If I fall in love with someone and then they turn out to be someone I do not have mutual interests with then I am fawked for the next 8-10 years until I feel something for someone new. I hate to just go out with anyone I find even partially attractive. No games for me. I am going to talk to this girl and then as soon as I am comfortable around her I am just going to tell her....plain and simple...she can take it or leave it. This entire "game" thing sounds really high school .....some-thing a 15 year old would say lol.

[inkeepingsecret]

""This entire "game" thing sounds really high school .....some-thing a 15 year old would say lol.""[/QUOTE]


You would think so, right? In reality, with females,dating,etc, It's always a game. Always!!! Think about it. I dont think as adults, things are exactly the same as they were in high school, but things havent changed that much man. I feel the whole adult dating scene is mature way of playing "high school games"

EX.
- When you get a girls number, you're supposed to wait 3 days to call her? In which, i think is bullshiz. I mean, if you were into this girl, why wait right? But if you call her the next day, chances are she wont be into you anymore. Although she was digging you the night before? yep a game

Guys and girls like some mystery around things. The "game" is just a way to keep things interesting.

[indigosoul]

What is this "game" you speak of?. I don't like to flirt or dance around a topic...I find it annoying to avoid the subject and truth. I wont argue on how our mind developed because its to far off the topic. A girl starts beating around the bush with me and I will just get annoyed and confused. I can not tell you what the purpose of the "game" is since I do not play it. I think that loving each other is enough of a mutual interest to continue. Considering the fact that If I fall in love with someone and then they turn out to be someone I do not have mutual interests with then I am fawked for the next 8-10 years until I feel something for someone new. I hate to just go out with anyone I find even partially attractive. No games for me. I am going to talk to this girl and then as soon as I am comfortable around her I am just going to tell her....plain and simple...she can take it or leave it. This entire "game" thing sounds really high school .....some-thing a 15 year old would say lol.

Believe it. I AM not 15 & haven't been for a loooong while... I think you are being simple. These kinds of "game-like" interactions take place in order to prevent unnecessary hurt (tho there are some who simply like to play--nothing to be done for it tho, they can lie directly too). The initial stages of a relationship really are like a dance, as I said. It is a sign of a deepening relationship when the games are abandoned. But this is due to increased trust, which you don't have at the beginning of a new relationship. Unless you wear your heart on your sleeve, which is silly, b/c you are likely to get hurt.

FYI there are some cultures (ever been to Japan?) where a lack of subtlety is considered a sign of stupidity.

But go ahead. Maybe "me tarzan, want f*ck?" will work for you. Simple & direct, right?... Good luck.

[longtime]

The whole idea of a "game" that comes with dating sounds pretty immature to me too!
I don't know where a "rule" of waiting 3 days to call a girl came from. Who made up the rule? Why would you follow it?
I'm an adult. I'm female. I don't play games. If I was interested in someone I let them know. If I felt someone was playing a game I wouldn't stick around. Honesty is the best policy. If you tell someone how you feel whats the worst that could happen? They don't feel the same way? No matter how many games you play the outcome will be the same, unless you "trick" them somehow in this "game".

[Illusional]

i know that you don't really care about sex, but you're missing my main point. what i'm saying is stop being a pussy and just call her up.

raverboy

[Only-virgins]

The whole idea of a "game" that comes with dating sounds pretty immature to me too!
I don't know where a "rule" of waiting 3 days to call a girl came from. Who made up the rule? Why would you follow it?
I'm an adult. I'm female. I don't play games. If I was interested in someone I let them know. If I felt someone was playing a game I wouldn't stick around. Honesty is the best policy. If you tell someone how you feel whats the worst that could happen? They don't feel the same way? No matter how many games you play the outcome will be the same, unless you "trick" them somehow in this "game".

I don't know if it is or is not immature but I absolutly agree with you. If the girl doesn't want to be with you because you called her a day to early then obviously she doesn't feel nothing strong for you. Thats what I think. I guess I am not the only person like that since you say so and you are a girl so I guess there is hope she is like you. I am a very calm and quiet person not because I am shy but it is just the way I am. I say what I mean.

[Only-virgins]

Believe it. I AM not 15 & haven't been for a loooong while... I think you are being simple. These kinds of "game-like" interactions take place in order to prevent unnecessary hurt (tho there are some who simply like to play--nothing to be done for it tho, they can lie directly too). The initial stages of a relationship really are like a dance, as I said. It is a sign of a deepening relationship when the games are abandoned. But this is due to increased trust, which you don't have at the beginning of a new relationship. Unless you wear your heart on your sleeve, which is silly, b/c you are likely to get hurt.

FYI there are some cultures (ever been to Japan?) where a lack of subtlety is considered a sign of stupidity.

But go ahead. Maybe "me tarzan, want f*ck?" will work for you. Simple & direct, right?... Good luck.

I am not going to go up to her and say it like that " ME tarazan want to fawk?"...I am just going to right out say that I have had strong feelings since the beginning and she can take it or leave it...if she thinks I just want to fawk her because I say it so fast and clearly then the problem is with her and not me. I am still trying to maybe figure out were she works but things look grim on that. You can play this game thing but I know if I was in one I would be hurt more then happy. I do not know how to play and I do not want to...if she gives me her number ...she better hold the phone close because I will call soon and not in 3 days. If I tried to play the "game" I would just see "GAME OVER" and thats it lol.

[Only-virgins]

i know that you don't really care about sex, but you're missing my main point. what i'm saying is stop being a pussy and just call her up.

raverboy

You want to do it for me? I told you. It will be like a stranger calling her.

[Only-virgins]

You would think so, right? In reality, with females,dating,etc, It's always a game. Always!!! Think about it. I dont think as adults, things are exactly the same as they were in high school, but things havent changed that much man. I feel the whole adult dating scene is mature way of playing "high school games"
Guys and girls like some mystery around things. The "game" is just a way to keep things interesting.

I hope your wrong about the game thing because I do not know how to play it....I don't even want to waste my time learning.

[Fawn]

Not all girls like playing games. I've played them when I was young, but I don't care for it anymore.

AND I've actually read these whole 4 pages, so I'm on illusional's side at the moment. You say "It will be like a stranger calling her." So? Telemarketers do that all day long. Pick up the phone. Say "Hi! Remember me?" and then go onto a nice & simple conversation. Then if you ever get the chance tell her that your sorry and get it done and overwith.

[Kiechi]

Um OV, if your going to make numerous points can you put them all into one post? Seeing 5 of your posts in a row is annoyin'.