In a rut . . can't seem to get out!

[Bella82]

Hi everyone, I'm having some issues with my life right now (to put it generally). I am from the US, 30yrs old, and I've been living overseas for about 7 years. When I first arrived in Europe years ago I lived in small, quaint town in France, which definitely took some getting used to at first, but in the end I really loved it. When I completed my degree at the University I had this dream to live in Paris. During one of my trips around Europe, I visited Rome, met this Italian guy and decided to apply for jobs in Rome (as well as Paris). Nothing materialized in Paris, but it did in Rome almost immediately so I took that as a sign that I should be there, and I went.

It's 6 years later and I've broken up with the Italian guy and now am with an American for about 4 years. He's great, and we both share what it's like to be an expat. So what's my problem? Well, it's this city... Rome. I've never had a love for Italy, so when I came it was a huge adjustment.. the people, the way things are done here etc. As the years go by, I've increasingly had the idea to leave- especially in the last year. It sounds terrible, but I really cannot stand a large part of the people in this city - Romans really, not Italians. If it weren't for my partner and my fantastic job, there is no way I would be here. Alot of my good friends have left (and another is in the process of leaving), so for now, I don't have any good girlfriends. I don't go out very much anymore, which is unlike me, and I haven't taken up any of my hobbies in months. By nature I am a light-hearted and positive person, although I feel worn down at the moment.

My partner feels the same way about Rome in that he doesn't want to be here forever, which I agree too, though I don't want to be here in two years either. I would feel MUCH better if there was a timeline, so that I knew there was a plan. We just started looking at which cities would be possible for both him and I as far as jobs, quality of life, cost, language, etc. He has a bit harder time as he has a company, which he would have to introduce into a new market. I'm a little bit more open in that as long as there are international organizations in my industry, I should be Ok.

For the time that I am here, what can I do to get this negative energy out of me? How do I not let my feelings towards living here ruin my remaining time?

Thanks for any help,

[searock]

What things about Rome make you feel miserable? I think that once you have a well-defined plan for your future that involves traveling permanently out of Italy, you'll be able to look at the present with a better attitude, and things won't seem as bad as they do now. If push comes to shove and he can't find a job elsewhere, you're going to have to decide whether your relationship is worth living in a place you hate.

[Bella82]

Well, at the risk of sounding hideously negative, I'm to the point where most Romans annoy the hell the out of me, and it's frustrating how nothing ever works here. On occasion it does work and it's amazing! Although those occurrences are like playing roulette.. sometimes your number comes up!

I fully agree on having a plan, though going without my partner is not a move I will make. Hence.. trying to find a compromise and be happy in this remaining time I've got.

[Boisdevie]

Need more info. What is so annoying about 'most Romans' and what precisely do you mean by 'nothing ever works here'.
Could you not stay in Italy for his business but just somewhere else in Italy more to your tastes?