An outsider's perspective, please?

[aferry3982]

Hey everyone. I am a friendly, fun loving 20-year-old who needs some relationship analysis. I've been going out with "Fred" for a year and a half now. We met while I was working at the gym and he worked out there. We had sex after a few times of getting together. He regrets not getting to know one another's emotional stances, or not knowing our personal boundaries when we first had sex.( I assure him I did it out of emotional interest, not just physical).

I loved the way he felt like my protector, in that he doesn't want to see others' ill intentions put me down or use me. This is because I've had jobs in which I was too afraid to ask for a raise because I thought it should've been handed to me. It was naive of me, and I am past it now. He and I both agree that we are opposite personality types (him being quiet, less sociable, very dark in his ways, he's very big on pride and power. This is because of his terrible upbringing, little parental guidance, abuse, poverty, etc. I am outgoing, relaxed, 'no worries', less organized, indecisive, etc. Because of my uprbinging. Cushier life, little worries, family love, siblings, etc.) We have had ongoing arguments about my giving up too easily on things, my inability to think 'logically', our inability to understand one another in our views on life was big.

Our most recent argument stemmed from my not feeling comfortable enough to talk 'dirty' to him, which led to his anger that I have no reason to feel that way because I am "supposedly open about things". I told him I wouldn't pressure him into doing something he doesn't like to do (ie- saying 'please'). It sounds silly, I know, but it's about the essence of the argument. He has crazy trust issues (he's a victim of infidelity) and he is extremely conservative ("one-night-stands are trashy"). Fred has told me he is envious of my ability to be less morally restricted because I've had 'friends with benefits' and a 'one-night-stand' before. These facts don't change my intense feelings towards him. Big recent arguments also include my wanting him to change himself because he wants to make more friends, and he's very unapproachable.

We have had our fun, don't think we haven't. Fred said one time that he feels "we complete eachother". I too feel that way, but I also don't want it to get to me. I don't want to change into the hard-headed, unsociable person he is. I don't want this to break my spirit. What can you say about our relationship?

[aferry3982]

By the way, Fred is 26 years old. I know, a little older but it's taught me quite a bit, plus I like the maturity. =)

[Boisdevie]

Just ignore cheekxs. She's been drinking the furniture polish again.