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Thread: The appropriate response...

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    The appropriate response...

    Ladies, some help please.

    There is a gentleman who thinks he can call me whenever he wishes and that I will drop everything and come running. In return, it takes him days to respond to a text/email. This week I have been without my phone - when I get it I discover he texted me on Monday, and then when he didn't get a reply again on Wed asking what was up, I got another on Friday telling me he was sorry and that he thought we were good.

    So seeing as last week, when I asked him whether he fancied catching a movie in the week it took him 4 days to reply, suggestions on the polite, yet don't be a flaming hypocrite and grow up response that I need to send this man?

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    suggestions on the polite, yet don't be a flaming hypocrite and grow up response that I need to send this man?
    I would imagine that if you sent him a "do you wanna fk" text, he'd be all over that in seconds.

    How well do you know this guy? Have you asked him why it takes days to respond? Have you been to his home? Where did you meet him?

    Just a guess but He sounds like he wants you for a booty partner and not much more or; a companion when it suits him and you don't get a say ~ Based on his lack of responding when you want to do something outside the bedroom (the movies) and, his apparent apprehension that he may have lost a sure thing, of course.

    Why would you drop everything and go running anyway, particularily when he's not showing you that he values you much?

    suggestions on the polite, yet don't be a flaming hypocrite and grow up response that I need to send this man?
    How about saying nothing about anything and just asking him out to that movie again and then shut up ans see what excuse he comes up with for not responding when you ask him why he didn't respond right away? Then just tell him outright that it's rude and disrespectful when he doesn't respond.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    I would imagine that if you sent him a "do you wanna fk" text, he'd be all over that in seconds.
    Abso-frickin-lutly!

    I'll be honest, I'm genuinely not too fussed. He's a nice guy, we have fun, it could go somewhere. But if it doesn't I'm not going to be reaching for the B&Js. Plenty more fish and all. And yes I know he's single - I know him through friends. We're not far enough along in the relationship to start worrying about being exclusive - and No, aside from a bit of making out, he has yet to get anywhere near my bedroom.

    I'm not even that fussed about him keeping me waiting. He missed out - I had a great time at the movies with someone else. It's this whining when I keep him waiting that got me. It's not worth a row about, I'm just not sure how to convey the right sense of 'grow up you silly boy' without being rude or sounding like his mother.

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    I dunno... I find sarcasm along with directness usually works.
    He says "I thought we were good"
    You say "funny, I thought we were incognito what with the lack of response from you last time I text and your usual M.O." Then just explain that you had left your phone at home and ask him "whats up? Why DO you usually take for ever or outright not respond?"
    Last edited by Wakeup; 22-09-12 at 11:51 PM. Reason: sentence structure

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    Cause you act like that he do that to you.

    start saying no. and make your own plans.

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    I don't think sarcasm when questioning a male's behavior is generally well-received. I think you should just say "Sorry I didn't respond sooner, and you know it's unlike me, but I haven't had a phone since Monday. Besides, you often take several days to respond to my messages, so I didn't think it would be an issue."

    Then, if he doesn't respond to your messages in a timely manner, tell him directly that you will not sit around waiting for a reply. Then don't. And if he asks you out last minute, tell him (sweetly) you appreciate the invitation, but are busy, and generally plan your outings a few days in advance. If he really wants to see you, he will step up.
    Last edited by vashti; 23-09-12 at 11:27 AM.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    You mean you care if it's not generally well received? Meh.. I figure if he's not treating me well then he's lucky I'm still even talking to him at all. Period!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    I would imagine that if you sent him a "do you wanna fk" text, he'd be all over that in seconds.
    If you are bored, you might just want to do this and then ignore *his* text for 4 days. Could be amusing to see how he escalates.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Indi, that's funny as hell.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartIsAching View Post
    Indi, that's funny as hell.
    Oh, I'm a changin woman, HIA. I was warned by some this might happen.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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