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Thread: Am I just crazy?!

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    Am I just crazy?!

    I was involved in a 2 year long, long distance affair/relationship with a guy I knew practically my whole life. I was married during the duration of our relationship, he knew this, and I broke things off with him because I was tired of living a double life and didn't think I was strong enough to leave my husband. Within days of breaking things off with him I came clean with my husband and we are currently in the process of divorcing. He said he would wait for me, but when I told him I had ended my marriage and wanted to be with him he acted cold and cruel. We haven't really spoken much over this 3 month period but he says that he still loves me and that I was his dream girl. I have laid all my cards out on the table for him and told him I want a future with him. He hasn't said yes he wants a future with me or no he doesn't. So it's basically like he is stringing me along. I am having a hard time moving on from this relationship so I decided to book a flight to where he lives and see if he will meet me. Is this totally crazy to just show up or is it worth one last effort to try to salvage our relationship?

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    Look, what you did is wrong. I'm sure you are very well aware of that.
    BUT to answer your question. If you go and see him out of the blue it will make things hard.
    Just recently i done the same thing and like i said in my post, it was all sweet while i was there with him but as soon as i went home my world turned upside down.
    In the end Its up to you.

    My advice is to let him know your coming. Rocking up without letting him know will only make things more complicated and you will be pressuring him to see you.
    I know i shouldn't say this but learn from my mistake. Give him some time to think, its not easy for him to accept what you have done to your husband even though he was the one helping you hurt him.
    Maybe now he is worried he will be in your husbands shoes??? You never know ..

    If you feel strongly about seeing him...LET HIM KNOW YOUR ON YOUR WAY!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by AllorNothing View Post
    I am having a hard time moving on from this relationship so I decided to book a flight to where he lives and see if he will meet me. Is this totally crazy to just show up or is it worth one last effort to try to salvage our relationship?
    Yes, this is totally crazy. You just broke off w/your husband and you are looking to jump into another relationship?

    I don't suppose you realize that there are men who will toy with married women b/c they think they are 'safe'? But that they have no intention of actually pursuing anything romantic (some will **** you if you are dumb enough to do so, tho). Anyway, kudos for breaking off w/your husband since its clear you don't love him. It would have been classier for you to leave your husband first before trying to pursue anything with this other guy, but now you see the truth. As for the rest, you should spend some time figuring out what went wrong in your marriage. Not trying to use your affair partner as an emotional bandaid.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by AllorNothing View Post
    I have laid all my cards out on the table for him and told him I want a future with him. He hasn't said yes he wants a future with me or no he doesn't. So it's basically like he is stringing me along.
    As for this^. It means he's not interested in you. Men who love women will hustle for them. If he cared, he would have at least engaged in some conversation about the subject. Sorry, but that's the blunt truth. Don't waste your time or money on a visit.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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