how do i deal with the woman of my life that has cheated on her bf?

[Drumzzz]

hi

this will be a bit long, but it needs to be if you want to understand most of it
i'll post a summary at the bottom for those who don't want to read it

so...
i'm in a social group and there was this girl who's 6 years older than me (i'm 20) has a bf whom she lives with for 2 years now and they have been together for 6 years yesterday
the summer of 2011 i had a depression and she said she had a lot of trouble with her bf
after some time we started to fall in love (i think)
from september till february we had some sort of relationship (cause she was cheating on her bf)
i wanted her all for myself which was the start of a lot of arguments for things like she ignored me when i asked for a kiss (when we went out with that group but had a moment alone), never asked me out (i always did), ...
we had sex etc and meeted but not half as much as you would think is normal
there wasn't much time for us together
and because of the fights she broke up with me

after that i felt really bad and heartbroken
she saw it
and at the beginning of april we got back together
it still wasn't what i needed
so again we had arguments
and again it failed
around half of july

in the meantime whe had even more fights cause she always showed up with her bf
we were going to a festival together when she suddenly asked a lot of friends to come along (she asked me if it was ok, it wasn't ...), we were supposed to go out together and she just told me she wanted to stay home and asked if it was ok to go during the week so i said no and she just ignored it
that evening was horrible, she talked with herr bf about me who wanted to punch me (he got to scared to do it though)
that evening she told him everything
after that they went on holiday for 2.5 weeks

now we get along from time to time, but after a few days it turns into a fight again
she even thought about seeing a lawyer (cause she had trouble with me sending her 6 texts and making 2 calls in a week )
2 weeks ago it was my birthday, she just gave me a text while i told her to call me, she didn't take me out, hasn't bought me a present, ... while i did all those things for her
valentine, her b-day, mine, newyear's eve, ... i never got the pleasure of those days
on newyear's eve i was lying on the floor, crying, cause i was all alone at home


summary:
girl
6 years older
has bf for 6 years
treated me bad (i think)


now i actually still love her, i think she's the woman i want to spend my life with
i just don't know what to do...
i miss her so much even though i think she just used me or some sort of thing
she told me on the phone last week she still often thinks of me and when i said that if i was 7 years older everything would be ok, she just couldn't speak

can anyone give me some advice?
thx

ps: sorry for my english

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop contacting her. Even if she contacts you, don't respond.

[Drumzzz]

But i really love her...
And she doesn't contact me

[HeartIsAching]

However you feel about her, she does not love you. What she loves from you is the attention. When you're in contact, her boyfriend gives her attention he doesn't normally (even if it's negative) and attention from you. When she's had her fill she wants you to go away.

She's trouble. Best to cut contact and leave it that way.

[Drumzzz]

That's wat i've been thinking too
But she says she really loves me....

[HeartIsAching]

But her actions do not. When the mouth says one thing, but the actions say another, believe the actions.

[Drumzzz]

I'm having a hard time to accept she stays with him...
And i'm not the type that finds some new girl easily, so making her jealous for a change won't work (or making myself happy by loving and being loved)

[Drumzzz]

this isn't working out...
i can't get her out of my head even while i hate her and her bf even more
someone in her family died last week
and i called her to see how she was, but i never hear from her...