Should I Stay With Fiancé?

[Mysterymami]

I've asked a similar question before so bare with me..
I'm Engaged to my guy..friend of 10 yrs...lover for almost 2 yrs. I found out almost two months ago that he has a now 1 yr old daughter from a fwb he was messing with a couple months before we started dating. He found out two weeks before I found out that this chick was pregnant with his child and apparently had the baby last October. Nvr said a word to him till now. Took the paternity test and she is definitely his.

My dilemma: he already has a six year old (my God-daughter) who I have accepted and loved all her little life. This new child has been harder for me to accept. I feel a lot if animosity twds him and the baby mama bc this is ruining our plans. (he recently couldn't pay all his bills bc of child support and we are trying to plan a wedding..smh) I want kids myself very soon and I think he's jaded even though he says he is not. I always had a no baby rule but let it slide with him bc his daughter is my God baby and it was just ONE kid. Two kids and TWO BABY MAMAS is the ghetto mess I nvr wanted to be involved in. (No offense to anyone.)
He is mad at me and thinks I should be "out of my feelings" abt this by now. I suggested counseling but he says we can go for ME bc he is coping with this fine and needs no help. He says either I'm on the train or off and I feel as though he is being very cold and not sympathetic. This is a big deal!! Any advice??

[bluesummer]

I would say consider his feelings on this a bit. A suprise kid comes up out of nowhere, and suddenly he has another child, another mouth to feed, another responsibility. I'm sure it causes him as much stress as it does to you. Really......do think he WANTS two baby mamas? Do you think he WANTS to pay extra child support? He may say he's fine but maybe his way of coping is just getting on with business, and you making it into a bigger issue is probably pissing him off.

He's right, you're either with him on this journey or you're not. If it's too much drama for you, then you're both better off separate. If you love him and are willing to see him through this, then do it and stop feeling 'animosity' towards him. It's not like he cheated on you and got a girl pregnant. If you know that you can't deal then leave him. It's as complicated as you want to make it.

[InYourFACE]

I think he should be very humble to you. cause he is a messy guy

how can you sleep around making 2 people pregnant.

many people had gf but did not make them pregnant.
so maybe he is someone that dont think about having safe sex when he is horny.

And i think he should taking your feelings in consideration and dont aspect you to be all happy and all.

and if you cant find a way before marry him to deal with this. it will be worse and a lot more drama.
cause the kids cant be deleted or something, so they will be there.


if you ask me i would say this dude is a mess. and im afraid he will do more of this mess to you in your marriage,
cause the start is already messy,

so or you go to the war field , or you go for your peace,

[smackie9]

Shit happens because life happens. Yes he had no control over this "surprise" child, but you do have control over your choice to work with it or leave it. This child was not part of the bargan, so yes your point of view is legit. Marriage is a big deal and yes with will affect your furture. Weigh your pros and cons....me personally I wouldn't blame you if you bail because you have to think about yourself too. If this will make your relationship struggle, especially where finaces are involved, then don't get married.

[Gaylord Focker]

My advice is never do ass to mouth.

[kleaners]

How has he been a lover for two years but has a one year old daughter? Makes it sound like he cheated on you while you both were dating. I have very little tolerance for someone who cheats. Once a cheater, always a cheater. A friend of mine dated a guy, he cheated on her, but she took him back. They dated and married and then he cheated on her again. They're divorced now.