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Thread: Dating 28 months, constantly arguing, etc, how to work make it work?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2

    Dating 28 months, constantly arguing, etc, how to work make it work?

    Hi, this is my first post here so bear with me.

    I don't know what to do about my boyfriend and our relationship.

    I'm 28 and he's 31 and we've been seeing each other for 2 years and 4 months. Recently we've even talked about getting engaged and married in the next 1-2 years.

    However, also recently, our arguments have become more and more frequent and we've both thought about breaking up because we can't see eye to eye on certain topics and he criticizes me and vice versa.

    Also, I have this weird feeling that I can't seem to shake. Although I love doing stuff with him (seeing movies, eating out, etc as well as stuff in the bedroom) sometimes I really don't feel I love him. I feel kind of apathetic and non-emotional, if that makes sense. I don't not love him, I just feel kind of detached.. as if I'm not even there. As if I'm looking in on someone else with him.. does that make sense?

    I've never felt like this with any other guy. But then again, all my past relationships have been shorter than this, the longest lasting 20 months.

    I don't know why I'm feeling like this. We both live with our parents, about 40 mins away from each other and we only see each other on weekends. However, most weekends he is really keen to see me but I'm just not worried whether we see each other or not. I know it's wrong to feel like this but I don't know WHY I'm feeling this way? Somehow I feel suffocated, but we only see each other 2 days out of 7 so why am I feeling this way?

    Well last night he broke it off to me over the phone. Normally I'd be all teary or emotional but this time i wasn't. Probably because deep down I kind of wanted to break it off too (at least for the time being) even though I hate break ups and have never initiated any because I believed we could work out our problems.

    anyway, I don't know what to do now.. I know if I apologise he'll rethink his thoughts.. but then I don't know how to stop the frequent arguing between us after that.

    Most of the time we get along really well but then when we hit upon certain topics I can almost see the argument before it appears.. and I just dont know how we can stop arguing!

    we are both very similar in personality (even though he's a gemini and i'm a scorpio). I guess we both want our own way all the time , and that's a problem too. ARRGHH I just don't know what to do.

    Any suggestions? thanks!




  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Aus
    Posts
    618
    u feel detached...u dont miss him and u realise that and u didnt feel bad when he broke the relationship......

    every couple argues......every couple does. but the tooth often bites the tongue and yet they stay together

    other than that i dont know what to say....it seems that u just had a relationship which deep down in ur heart u wanted to break...what more can i say

    listen, it does hurt when ur love doesnt respond the way u love her,.....so i guess ur feeliing detached and not interested does hurt.

    Hussain
    Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? - The Ghost of Christmas Past

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