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Thread: HELP !!! Unusual relationship !!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Manchester
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    HELP !!! Unusual relationship !!!

    Well I am having trouble with the other half, and who better to get advice from then people who don't know me or him ..

    So let me start by telling you about me and him .. I am 21 and he is 29 we met online through a dating website in March this year and we have been together
    since, So the problems started in about May ... one night we were discussing our sexual interests and he opened up and said he would like to see me with other
    men, so I thought I will give it ago, and we went to a swingers club ( I have never been more nervous in my life) But I relaxed and we got into it, a coupled were
    interested so we had a bit of foreplay fun, but after it I broke down crying ran to the toilet n locked myself in there for a good 15 minutes. So we left and spoke
    no more of it. Since being together we have seen each other around 12 times ( 7 of these times we went to a swingers club) I have never for filled his fantasy and slept with another man, so when we do arrange to meet he wants to go to a swingers club, and when I say no, he suddenly comes up with an excuse as to why he cant see me, hes working, hes ill, hes meeting family ...
    I just feel like he wants me to play out his fantasies, he sometimes acts like a "normal" boyfriend and other times he acts like he only wants me cos of his fantasy,
    we have not been on a "normal" date yet, no flowers, no gifts, no sweet little messages.

    I am just at a loss as to what to do, I can not talk to friends as they would be freaked out by the whole thing they think we have a normal relationship.
    We talk everyday ( texting) we hardly ever talk on the phone. He is giving me a key to his apartment when he moves, BUT ...

    When I dont reply straight away to his messages or I say im going out he sometimes accuses me off being with other men, sleeping with guys, and instead of getting angry he wants to know the details ( even when I havent been with a guy I am 100% faithful with him !!!)

    I need honest advice !!! please don't hold back

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    3,849
    He wants to see you **** other men. If you stay with him, you are just ****ing stupid. I'm actually inclined to think you're ****ing stupid anyway, but at least it's a step in the right direction if you leave this guy. Why do you even need to ask a forum about things like this? This situation is just retarded and it's silly that you can't see he only wants this one thing from you. Moron.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Female
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    Canada
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    14,110
    I just feel like he wants me to play out his fantasies,
    You probably feel that way because that's all he does want. His actions are saying so particularily if you tell him you don't want to go to the "Love Shack" so he makes excuses not to see you at all. This really isn't rocket science.

    Leave him or start charging him. If he's going to only want you for sexual pleasure and an escort to the club (they usually don't accept single males) then at least get yurself a fur coat or something outta the deal. O.o

    When I dont reply straight away to his messages or I say im going out he sometimes accuses me off being with other men, sleeping with guys, and instead of getting angry he wants to know the details
    This is what people do when they are guilty of doing exactly what they are accusing you of. He's not for you ~ tis obvious, Frosty. Only thing left is for you to realize that on your own.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    Whatever your gut is telling you is right. You both are not on the same page...why are you so desperate to be with a man that has activities that make you cry and lock yourself in a washroom? Have some self worth. You have expectations that are not being met here, go find a man that does....you are a grown woman there is nothing stopping you from meeting someone who meets YOUR needs.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    191
    Oh my this story is rubbish and a mess.

    And itss weird that you just dont see it.
    Or want to see it.

    First of all stop dating people on the internet.
    Start getting real and meet people in your own city.
    Cause there are to much sick people on the internet that can brainwash you with words.

    And yu being insecure and having low self esteem can fall easily for it.

    This dude dont even likes you. He just choose you as a object to fulfill his sexual fantasy's.
    Since you have low self esteem he keep you so he can make it happen.
    He is not interested in you as a person.

    But you know that but you still ask us stupid questions.

    You need to get out of this mess. Cause he will keep try to get you to do all this sick stuff he wants.
    And just for the fact that you still with him and did the step to try it with other men, makes me
    think that if he manipulates you just a little more, you will do any kind of nasty sick stuff
    that he makes you do! just to make hi happy or to get some "love" from him,

    If you are not like that, break up and stop any contact with this sick figure.
    A men that at least likes you, would not ask you to do sex with other men.
    Cause he wants you to be only his!

    And i see people often say they dont ant to tell their parents or friends.
    but if you have really good friends, you should be able to tell them.
    Cause the great thing of having good friends and family is that when you tell them
    what you are going true they can give you a brighter pictures of it of things that they see or find strange/wrong that
    you may not see.
    And they are the ones that will support you when you are sad, and will be hurt when you are hurt,
    so they need to know at least some of it.

    And often when you talk with friends, they can give you their thoughts , and that can help you
    to wake up faster and break up!

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