past lies

[michelle23]

in my opinion there is no excuse for any sort of cheating be it emotional or physical and once that trust is broken-its almost impossible to get it back.

i think during times of stress-people show their true colors. their either your rock or they bail and seek attention elsewhere. i have a no tolerance policy for people who take the easy way out or who need an escape from reality.

when the shit hits the fan-thats when you see how much inner strenght and emotional maturity and integrity a person has.. her blaming your health issues and your whining is not an excuse for her behaviour. if she was unhappy-she could have walked out the door. shes not chained to the bed or anywhere else.

its your decision wether you want to stay or go. good luck to you.

[basilandthyme]

Stink of mothballs in here. Ancient thread.

[Wakeup]

Yes.. Basil but the Op came back in so he's opened up his own thread once again. I'd like to hear (other than his complaints about not hearing what he liked) how he and his wife are at this point.

[smackie9]

Stink of mothballs in here. Ancient thread.

You stole my saying lol! It's a good one tho

[Tug]

I read the replies to my thread and I found most of them quite funny and found others to be understanding and gave solid advice. Im still with my G/F but the relationship is clearly over as far as Im concerned. She said last night that she loves me more than anyone she's ever been with and wants to work it out but I agree with Michelle 23, once trust is broken its nearly impossible to get back. Im pretty sure I mentioned this earlier that she was doing things on FB I knew nothing about things she wouldn't appericate I was doing. When I found out I gave her a choice me or FB and she chose me. A year and a half later I was on the laptop and saw a snap shot of a web site she took on her iphone, the photo was an email address that I hadnt recognized so I called her and asked her about it. She became extremely upset and yelled at me saying IM BACK ON FB AND WAS NEVER GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT!" Her daughter apparently started a closed group for a group of people who were doing a program to help them lose weight. Because my g/f told her daughter she couldnt get on it because of the promise she made me her daughter thought as long as she created the FB account under a name none of my g/f's friends knew and beings it was a closed group it would be ok if my g/f used the email account her daughter had and the FB account her daughter created for her. My g/f tried to justify that because she was using a name that wasnt hers and an account she didnt create that she wasnt actually on FB but the person with the fictitious was. Than she tried to justify getting back on FB by saying she didnt tell me because she knew I would over react but that argument didnt hold water because for 2 years I was telling her that all she had to do was be open and honest with me, if she could that we wouldnt have the problems we have. Than she tried to tell me she wasnt doing anything wrong like contacting any of her "old friends" and none of them knew she was on there so it was perfectly ok that she was on FB. She offered to give me the password but I told her I didnt want it and ulitmately closed the account her daughter created for her the following day on her own free will I never suggested she get off FB the second time

I was in shock when she told me she was back on FB, my reply was regardless of what name she was using, who created the account or not contacting any of her old "friends" didnt matter. What mattered was she gave me her word and not only didnt keep it but intentionally went behind my back and had her daughter create a screen name so she could get back on FB. I knew right than and there I was done and the relationship was over but because she kept telling me she loved me and didnt want me to leave I gave it my best effort to over look her being so deceitful and tried to trust her again. I told her last night that it wasnt going to work and I was going to get a place of my own, I told her I could never be with someone who would go to such extremes to lie to me and forgiving and forgetting wasnt an option. My health has improved somewhat but even if it hadnt I would live in my car as opposed to live with someone who couldnt tell the truth to save her soul.

[michelle23]

Why are you still there tug when you say its over?

[Tug]

Michelle, without getting to deep into my medical issues I have an illness that dictates where and I can and cant move. My illness has caused a host of other illnesses like chemical sensitivities that are so severe that even a few minutes of exposure to fresh paint or the chemicals used to clean the carpets will mean a trip to the emergency room. Anywhere I move to will mean the residence must be painted with paint that has no VOC's or and the carpets cant be cleaned. Any chemicals that are used to clean the bathroom or kitchen will make me sick. If you ever heard of or watched The Boy in the Bubble I am that individual. My life has been cursed not just with an illness that has no cure but with a woman who doesnt have the slightest idea what its like to be honest with me and Im not sure why. All I ever asked/begged for is for her to be upfront and honest with me, something she not only expects but demands and as you can see by my post about FB she has been anything but. I have asked her countless number of times why she tells me she loves me but shows me that she thinks so little of me even as a human being she cant to treat me as such.

I am going to move but its going to take some time for me to find a place thats suitable to my medical needs in the mean time I stay in my room with the door closed. When she tries to explain her past indiscretions to me I just tell her that the past is past and there's nothing anyone can do to change it, end of conversation. She has told me she doesnt want me to move obviously because I dont live here for free and the money I give her for rent is equivalent to her working a second job and I help out around the house.

Flame on

[michelle23]

I think I am familiar with the illness or something similar to it at least. I know a man who had a rare medical condition. It affected the tissue inside the bones I think and he was often in a lot of pain. His house had to be cleaned regularly with the stuff doctors use in the hospitals to clean their hands. Is this something similar? I cant remember the name of it. He was on steroid medication and morphine for 25 years.

I think you are doing the right thing by getting out of there. Stay strong

[ayatora]

Hello always think possitive you will find the path

[ayatora]

I am agree with you

[ayatora]

do not focus problems may be you need to focus feelings