Why this reaction?

[Boisdevie]

I was with an ex for 8 years. It was finished by me 2.5 years ago. During our time together she created a garden at my house and so did lots of work. She asked me yesterday if she could come and take some cuttings for her new garden. I said yes. I mentioned this to my GF of 5 months and she was really pissed off by this and said I should have said no. Said that this was just how her friends BF began to get distant from his GF - began by talking to the ex GF etc etc. Now I don't talk to my ex GF, don't see her or anything. So I"m trying to understand this reaction from my GF. Any ideas?

[boom43]

She's overreacting - it would have been pretty unreasonable for you not to let the ex take some clippings... honestly, what's the big deal?

Last thing you want to do is call her out on overreacting though - when a woman knows she is wrong she will defend to the death that she isn't!!! Instead, ask her if you guys can just leave it for a couple days to let her cool off about it and then have a discussion about why she feels the way she does. During that talk, let her know you were just not being a jerk to the ex - you're not suddenly going to start hanging out with her.

[TheCafeTerrace]

Burn the entire garden to the ground and salt the earth, problem solved.

... but yeah, what boom43 said is pretty on the money too.

[MsAdele]

Your current GF is a little insecure but you did spend 8 years with your ex and its only natural that she is going to be a little insecure. You are only with her for 5 months and she may see your ex as moving in on you again. You have a lot of history with your ex. Is there more to this story though - you say that you split up 2.5 years ago but have you been in touch since, it seems a little strange to call you up after no contact for 2.5 years for cuttings?! Tell your GF she has nothing to worry about and ask her to be at the house when the ex comes around - if she can manage to be indifferent towards the situation and not wanting to rip your exs hair out! All you can do is offer her reassurance and if she is still manic tell her that you cant be dealing with her jealousy and tell her that you are not happy with the fact she cannot trust you.

[iamaninnocentma]

I was with an ex for 8 years. It was finished by me 2.5 years ago. During our time together she created a garden at my house and so did lots of work. She asked me yesterday if she could come and take some cuttings for her new garden. I said yes. I mentioned this to my GF of 5 months and she was really pissed off by this and said I should have said no. Said that this was just how her friends BF began to get distant from his GF - began by talking to the ex GF etc etc. Now I don't talk to my ex GF, don't see her or anything. So I"m trying to understand this reaction from my GF. Any ideas?

Maybe if your current gf shaved her pits once in a while, you wouldnt feel the need to talk to your ex. To be honest, im not sure why ive bothered answering this, because its probably a load of pish that you have made up for attention.

Cuttings from a garden, lol. Stfu man.

[Wakeup]

when a woman knows she is wrong she will defend to the death that she isn't!!!

Say whaaaa? You stereo-type your entire gender due to some immature little girls?

Bois: She saw her friend lose a relationship through the hands of a stupid bf and his inability to resist the temptations of an ex so she is afraid that that same thing is going to happen to her. She just needs reassurance that you're not them and what she's fearing won't be happening. I'd tell her that and then I wouldn't talk to her about it again. The more you entertain her insecurity, the more she'll become insecure just to get the reassurance. Viscious circle that.

[InYourFACE]

i dont know what the hack do you want to come after 2,5 year for

she can just go to the shop and get some seeds or to someone else garden.

like its over why does it have to be yours?
what if she needs plates and forks will she call you so she can come and get some?
like when is it over between you 2?


i dont see a reason to say yes. even thou it can be harmless .

[HeartIsAching]

I was with an ex for 8 years. It was finished by me 2.5 years ago. During our time together she created a garden at my house and so did lots of work. She asked me yesterday if she could come and take some cuttings for her new garden. I said yes. I mentioned this to my GF of 5 months and she was really pissed off by this and said I should have said no. Said that this was just how her friends BF began to get distant from his GF - began by talking to the ex GF etc etc. Now I don't talk to my ex GF, don't see her or anything. So I"m trying to understand this reaction from my GF. Any ideas?

She's insecure. Tell her that you're sorry she's insecure, but it has nothing to do with you, then ignore it.

[surfhb]

Agreed....ignore all bad behavior

[IndiReloaded]

Your GF is being a jealous bitch. Ignore her. If your ex put a lot of work into that garden and she would like some cuttings, and she's not completely evil then its the least you can do. Let her, just don't let it be anything more than that.

[iamaninnocentma]

Your GF is being a jealous bitch. Ignore her. If your ex put a lot of work into that garden and she would like some cuttings, and she's not completely evil then its the least you can do. Let her, just don't let it be anything more than that.

Yeah, imaginary ex gfs can be a real bitch if you give them too much rope.

[vashti]

Your current GF is a little insecure but you did spend 8 years with your ex and its only natural that she is going to be a little insecure. You are only with her for 5 months and she may see your ex as moving in on you again. You have a lot of history with your ex. Is there more to this story though - you say that you split up 2.5 years ago but have you been in touch since, it seems a little strange to call you up after no contact for 2.5 years for cuttings?! Tell your GF she has nothing to worry about and ask her to be at the house when the ex comes around - if she can manage to be indifferent towards the situation and not wanting to rip your exs hair out! All you can do is offer her reassurance and if she is still manic tell her that you cant be dealing with her jealousy and tell her that you are not happy with the fact she cannot trust you.

I agree with this post.

[Boisdevie]

Thanks for all the replies folks. I think you're right about the insecurity thing although I don't understand why. Some more information - My ex I saw the other day because my daughter went to see her (she likes to keep in touch) and I had to go and pick her up from there. Apart from that I haven.'t seen my ex in Jan and that was because I bumped into her by accident. I don't see my ex, don't call, don't try to get her to go out with me or anything. So I was annoyed by my GFs seeming lack of trust in me - since I"m 100pc faithful.
But we talked and resolved the problem. Yep, if my GF wants to be there when the ex comes for her cuttings then of course she can be there.

[iamaninnocentma]

Thanks for all the replies folks. I think you're right about the insecurity thing although I don't understand why. Some more information - My ex I saw the other day because my daughter went to see her (she likes to keep in touch) and I had to go and pick her up from there. Apart from that I haven.'t seen my ex in Jan and that was because I bumped into her by accident. I don't see my ex, don't call, don't try to get her to go out with me or anything. So I was annoyed by my GFs seeming lack of trust in me - since I"m 100pc faithful.
But we talked and resolved the problem. Yep, if my GF wants to be there when the ex comes for her cuttings then of course she can be there.

Shut up already. Nobody gives a ****.

[misombra]

call me insecure but i would be annoyed if my guys ex kept calling and wanting shit.