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Thread: My long distance problem

  1. #1
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    My long distance problem

    Ok, I live in the UK and I've been in an online relationship with a girl from the USA for around 2 years now.

    We would probably both admit that at first it was just a bit of fun. I dont think either of us expected to get on soooo well, there is never any awkward silences or anything like that when we are on webcam.. We both make each other laugh A LOT! We even said we love each other for the first time a couple months ago. I have never felt like this about any girl.

    But here's my problem.. I simply cannot see how we will ever physically be together. We always talk about being together, what we will do, where we will go etc. But honestly, I don't see how I will ever be able to visit her, especially since I lost my job recently and I am now trying to juggle rent/bills on a very low income.

    Whilst she says that she understands my situation at the moment, and that she will wait for me.. I just cant help but feel like this is going to end in disaster for both of us. I simply cannot afford the flight costs, and even if I could, it would only be a return flight.. like, I would have to say goodbye and return to the UK eventually!

    I have'nt told anyone about this either.. You guys are the first haha, just feel like I've got to tell somebody! I could really do with some advice

  2. #2
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    LDRs rarely work out because part of a relationship is being physically together, even just to kiss or hold hands or cuddle. Being apart can be hard too. I've had several LDRs and none worked out. I would advise you to find a local girl for you.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuckerForLove87 View Post
    I just cant help but feel like this is going to end in disaster for both of us.(
    It's such a shame there are no women in your own town that you could date so you have to have some stupid virtual 'relationship' with somebody thousands of miles away. Get a ****ing grip. You've wasted 2 years of your life on some virtual bullshittery. Time to live in the real world.

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    Yeah i would have to agree with you, I've heard lots of stories about LDR's not working out... Just never thought that one day I would be in an LDR myself.. I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy.. I mean, we've spoke pretty much everyday (if only for an hour or so sometimes) for nearly two years!!
    We're like best friends, I don't want to be with anyone else, and she feels the same about me. There is no way that I could just cut all contact with her now just because I live 3000 miles away... I just wouldn't know what to say, it would devastate her.. not to mention me!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boisdevie View Post
    It's such a shame there are no women in your own town that you could date so you have to have some stupid virtual 'relationship' with somebody thousands of miles away. Get a ****ing grip. You've wasted 2 years of your life on some virtual bullshittery. Time to live in the real world.
    Its like I said in my OP... I never went in there intent on finding the "virtual" love of my life.. it just sort of happened :/ I don't HAVE TO HAVE a virtual relationship with anyone!

    So just watch your ****ing mouth mate, you don't know who your talking to.. I could be anyone!

    Virtual bullshittery! Lmao

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    LDR does work if you did put in some effort and try to make the relationship work.
    A lot of my friends was in a long distance relationship, but in the end they end up getting married so one of them had to move to their country to be with that person.

    Also, to make the relationship work, you'll need to have some sort of future plans that you or her to be living in the same country or closer or in the long term, there is really no point to have the relationship or else, this is like having a close online friend since you two haven't met each other in person/real life...

    I also was in the LDR, but I couldn't handle being away from my bf even though we saw each other often (Same country, but different state) so I end up moving to him and we have been living together ever since.

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    Yeah she does talk about the future with me A LOT.... and I have always said from day one that I would be willing to travel to see her. It's just the fact that I am BROKE at the moment, and with the current economy crisis in the UK, who knows how long I will be out of work for!? Plane tickets to USA aren't cheap

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    Is she not willing to travel to see you?
    "... Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"

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    She can't travel to see you?
    How old are you and her?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheCafeTerrace View Post
    Is she not willing to travel to see you?
    Come to think of it, she very rarely mentions coming over here... like when we talk about meeting up one day it always seems to involve me travelling over there.
    Maybe because I've always said I'd be willing to.. idk

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saya View Post
    She can't travel to see you?
    How old are you and her?
    I am 25 next month... and she is 22

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    22 is young...perhaps she is also having financial problem? That's why she doesn't mention about her going to see you in UK?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saya View Post
    22 is young...perhaps she is also having financial problem? That's why she doesn't mention about her going to see you in UK?
    Yeah possibly.. I mean she is a supervisor at Wal-Mart and she goes to college (or whatever the hell they call it over there lol) but I understand that a plane ticket to the UK isnt cheap!

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuckerForLove87 View Post
    mate, you don't know who your talking to.. I could be anyone!

    Virtual bullshittery! Lmao
    You wanted advice. I gave you my advice. FYI I have a girlfriend, a real girlfriend who I get to spend real time with in the REAL WORLD. You don't so I think that makes you a moron.

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    You dont even know what love is. in monthns you cant love nobody only like or fall inlove. so inform yourself before talking crap like that.

    and its a waste of time to date people far away, so i dont even consider it real.

    you build something when you are together experiencing the person daily or almost daily, not by chat or webcam or phone
    . cause that means u just a chat friend. why looking for people from far away. while there is enough girls in your city

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