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Thread: Is there a way to avoid the "doghouse"?

  1. #1
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    Is there a way to avoid the "doghouse"?

    So, I have a recurring problem. Every few months, I have a conversation with my SO that I don't show my appreciation for her enough. I know for a fact that I do things to show that I care. The problem is, its apparently not done regularly enough.

    The steps that lead up to it follow a similar pattern.

    1) I show my girlfriend that I care with some grand gesture (take her out, buy her a thoughtful gift, etc)
    2) She loves it, is very appreciative, on cloud9, etc
    3) A month passes and I'm still in the green zone.
    4) Two months pass, and I'm having a tense conversation about how she doesn't feel appreciated
    5) I do a grand gesture...

    So to avoid all this, I could just do thoughtful things more often. The problem is that I'm forgetful, and by the time I realize I'm in dangerzone territory, I'm in the "doghouse".

    Is there a service or website or something that can help me out? It's not that I don't care about her, it's just hard to keep up with showing her that I do in a thoughtful way... and regularly.

  2. #2
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    Stop calling her a "SO" would be a start. Women dont like to be called a son of a bitch. Ive found this out to my cost many times. Other than that, you sound like a bit of a fanny, and im not surprised shes sick of you. Get a playstation, because she will probably leave you soon.

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    She sounds like a self centered bitch to be honest. Why stick around?

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    You consider taking her out once every two months to be a "grand gesture"?

    Ya know, most couples have a date at least once a week....
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by dopamine View Post
    So, I have a recurring problem. Every few months, I have a conversation with my SO that I don't show my appreciation for her enough. I know for a fact that I do things to show that I care. The problem is, its apparently not done regularly enough.

    The steps that lead up to it follow a similar pattern.

    1) I show my girlfriend that I care with some grand gesture (take her out, buy her a thoughtful gift, etc)
    2) She loves it, is very appreciative, on cloud9, etc
    3) A month passes and I'm still in the green zone.
    4) Two months pass, and I'm having a tense conversation about how she doesn't feel appreciated
    5) I do a grand gesture...

    So to avoid all this, I could just do thoughtful things more often. The problem is that I'm forgetful, and by the time I realize I'm in dangerzone territory, I'm in the "doghouse".

    Is there a service or website or something that can help me out? It's not that I don't care about her, it's just hard to keep up with showing her that I do in a thoughtful way... and regularly.
    1) Don't go out with a bitch
    2) Lay the smack down on said bitch (you might lose her)... obviously not physically, hitting women is wrong
    3) Make sure you suck her dick more often

    Or you could just grow a pair and stop being thoughtful, let her cry like a child and see what happens.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    You consider taking her out once every two months to be a "grand gesture"?

    Ya know, most couples have a date at least once a week....
    Nah no way. That is yuppy crap. She should be grateful if you don't fart in the bed and that is it.

  7. #7
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    as long as you dont have a sickness that let you forget that much, woud say you just have a lack of interest in her.

    cause someone that is in love would look foward to do certain things.
    and caring and show affection is not something you plan but something natural if you have the right feeling for the person.

    if its a special day that you may forget, you can always put it in your phone calender with the alarm on.
    so its warn you the same day or day before.
    technology went so fat that if you tell me you forget its because you dont care for real. its just
    not important enough for you to remember

    and if so stands for son of a bitch i would say you are a jerk and a loser and very disrespectful\
    i think she needs to leave you cause you dont have any love for female. let alone for her.
    you dont talk like that about a woman.
    she is stupid to even stay with you.

  8. #8
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    The easiest way to avoid the 'doghouse' is really very simple. If you love someone unconditionally, and they love you back, your everyday actions will show her she is appreciated.

    I'll use an example that I have take out of context but I think works well here.
    There's a large, empty jar. If you fill it with golf balls, the jar will become full. However, you can add some marbles to fill in the gaps between the golf balls. This will also make the jar full. After the marbles, you can fill the remaining gaps with sand and, once again, the jar is full.
    The golf balls represent the small, important things in a relationship; telling her you love her, comforting her when she's sad, being supportive in her decisions.
    The marbles represent kind, small gestures; taking an interest in her interests, rubbing her back or feet, asking her how her day was.
    The sand represents the grand gestures; taking her for a meal, buying her a nice gift, surprising her with a weekend away.
    If you fill the jar with the sand first (or in your case, show her you care buy taking her for meals and buying things for her) there's no room for the golf balls or marbles. This means the little things you do, like telling her you love her or asking how her day was, she won't notice and become meaningless to her.
    You need to make sure you pay extra attention to the important things that will make her feel appreciated. Telling her you love her every day goes a long way to showing her you care. Asking her how her day was shows you appreciate how she's feeling. And there's always room to take her for a meal once in a while just to show her she's worth the effort. If you do the little things every day, she will realise how much you appreciate her and in turn, will appreciate you for it. You can always set a reminder on your phone or make a note on your calander to make a nice gesture, just so you won't forget.

    If she doesn't take note of the little things, and takes you for granted, remind her of the things you do for her, tell her that YOU feel unappreciated. A relationship is a two way street, there has to be give and take.
    At the end of the day, if she loves you, she won't need grand gestures to feel appreciated. If she only feels appreciated when you buy her things or pay for meals, perhaps you need to take a minute to think if she's worth your time.

    All the best.
    The world and it's mother could give you all the advice they have, but the outcome will always be in your hands.

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