Back again

[zaccarus]

Hey all,

Well I'm back again for more advice....

Long story short, my girlfriend cheated on me and I've decided to give it another go with her. That's the easy bit, the hard bit and what I'm going through now is that I just can't shake the negativity that I feel and believe in her again. Maybe I'm wrong but I expected her to 'prove' her love for me and although she has said she is sorry for going astray I can't see what she has done to "make it up to me".

So I guess what I'm looking for is any advice on how to trust her again, have any of you been through a similar thing? If so how did you do it? If you were the 'cheater' what did you do to regain your partners trust?

Sorry for asking such a million dollar question!!

[pisces25]

Have you gotten to the root of why she cheated? IMO it is EXTREMELY difficult to trust again once you have been cheated on so it will be a long road ahead. You both need a mutual commitment to work on building trust again. If she isn't pulling her weight in this regard then perhaps you need to see how serious she is about the relationship. I've never cheated and would like to think I won't but if I did and I truly wanted to give it another go with someone I loved I would be pulling out all stops to do it.

Find out why she cheated. Was it because she perceived something wrong with your behaviour in the relationship or was it an opportunistic, drunk off her face type moment? Basically if its the former you need to sort out the underlying reasons and then can move forward together. If she ain't that phased then you deserve better buddy.

[Boisdevie]

If somebody treats me like shite I tend to stay well clear of them.

[zaccarus]

Find out why she cheated. Was it because she perceived something wrong with your behaviour in the relationship or was it an opportunistic, drunk off her face type moment? Basically if its the former you need to sort out the underlying reasons and then can move forward together. If she ain't that phased then you deserve better buddy.

Thanks for the response, we have discussed the cause at length and from her point of view (and I have no reason to doubt this) she started to feel rejected as she felt that I no longer wanted the same thing out of our relationship, which is why when someone else paid her attention she took it. Does that make sense? I ask as writing it on here has ME raising my eyebrows!!

[Boisdevie]

she started to feel rejected as she felt that I no longer wanted the same thing out of our relationship, which is why when someone else paid her attention she took it.

Nice excuse. She puts the blame on you. Yep, she felt so rejected that she just had to go out there and **** somebody else. As if.

[zaccarus]

Nice excuse. She puts the blame on you. Yep, she felt so rejected that she just had to go out there and **** somebody else. As if.

Thanks for the input but just want to clarify that she does takes full culpability for what she did, she accepts that just because she felt that I wanted something else out of our relationship that it was her fault for looking elsewhere....