My girlfriend and I of 3 years have been having intimacy issues. She never wants to cuddle or kiss, almost no contact at all. We both lost our virginity to each other, our relationship had always been very tight and we always spent our free time in each other's company.
I've picked up on the signals and tried to talk things out. She told me that she was unhappy with the relationship, but she doesn't want to break up. We're both poor college students and so we don't have money for anything. We both want a home and family of our own, but none of it is happening fast enough for her.
She had told me that she was looking for chat rooms one night, just for something to do. I was ok with that, I wouldn't try to stop her from enjoying herself. But it bothered me a little, and I had a series of bad dreams about some other man. I tried to discuss things with her but she told me everything was ok.
Tonight, while she was in the other room I looked up her Yahoo Messenger conversations and copied the .dat files, then sent them to my email. When I came home from her house I decoded and read the most recent conversation between her and a man she met online. He kept telling her how beautiful she was, how great her ass looked. She sent him a dozen or more pictures of herself in exchange for his. They both talked about how cute one another was, how sexy she was. She told him every detail of her life, everything about her and her family, except for me.
I sent her an IM and confessed to reading the conversation between her and the stranger. She was absolutely furious. I tried to calm her down, but all she cared about was my invasion of her privacy, never mind the countless times she had read anything of mine in the past. I apologized profusely, but wanted to talk about why she had flirted so wildly with this other man. She has refused to acknowledge any wrong doing.
I know it is completely wrong to snoop. I justify my actions out of a sick feeling that something was very wrong. I knew she was staying up late, way too late, but had no idea why nor why the relationship was souring so quickly. What should I do here? What can be done? I'm mixed with feelings of sorrow for doing wrong, and surging with anger over her disregard for our relationship. To lead a strange man on and have him shower her with perverted messages of lust, showing off her body to this guy. I just feel so hurt and panicked.
What should I do? What can be done?