worst friend zoning ever

[killabeez]

What's up guys. I guess I might seem new here judging by the number of posts but I'm a long time follower of the forum. Ran into some issues with a girl this past weekend and I was hoping someone could help me out.

Long story short, I met this girl in class about a year ago. We studied for our exams together and all went great. She told me she had a boyfriend the first day I was with her but I never thought much about it and kept my distance. She kept coming back to me and was ALWAYS down to hang out. I even met up with her boyfriend at the time and he was a great guy and we got along well and still do. Anyway she broke up with him about a month and a half ago and we have gotten closer to each other ever since. Hung out every single time we had a chance and spent a lot of time together. I always had a "thing" for her but kept my distance until she broke up with him. Then I took her out several times. We drank, we danced, we made out and certain things were said. I may add that I asked her out before I ever touched her and she said she would think about it. Unfortunately I couldn't help myself and made the moves to which she responded to very well on several different nights. I thought the deal was sealed completely until I dropped her off at her house the last time and she simply said "thanks for the entertainment" and added that we need to talk. That happened last weekend while I was in town where she lives.

THIS weekend she came to visit the town where I live to hang out with me (or so i thought) and her friends. We went to some costume party last night with a bunch of people and I was still bummed out about what she had told me before so I kept my distance the whole night. I danced with her for about 20 minutes. Had multiple chances to kiss but decided not to because I was drunk and didn't want her to taste my beer breath. Saw her talking to many guys; several tried to take her home, but I decided to not care and not step in because I wanted her to make her choice. That was last night.

Today we spoke on the phone and she was making lame excuses about not wanting to hang out. I could tell she was lying so I decided to go balls to the wall and ask her if she wants to hang out tonight AT ALL because I need to plan my night out. She said she made "other plans" and that we needed to talk or something.

Yea I know you guys will say to move on or whatever but I am gonna talk to her eventually and I really like her. I will keep out of touch with her until at least next weekend. She's definitely a keeper and I want to try my hardest with her and see what happens. She's a really sweet girl that just got out of a year long relationship about a month ago. Did I move in too soon, too late, or what??? What do y'all suggest I do?

Thanks

[HeartIsAching]

You weren't friend-zoned, you were rejected as partner material, and she's too wishy-washy to tell you so.

Sucks man, but it's better you learn now.

[smackie9]

She isn't looking for a BF, she wants to play the field, and enjoy her freedom. If she hooks up with a poor sap, he will just be a rebound anyways. Your method doesn't work. Never wait around for a girl like that. If she truly wanted you she would have dumped her BF soon after you met. HIA is right, you were rejected. She doesn't see you as BF material and never did. Just because a girl hangs out with you and kisses you doesn't mean she wants you as a BF. You have to go through the proper channels...ask out on proper dates, and not "hanging out". During those dates, you talk, get to know one another, make a move for a kiss while not intoxicated, then put forward your intentions that you want to be exclusive. Not only is she being wishy washy....so are you. You never once put forth your intention to her verbally.....you lose.

[killabeez]

Thanks for the input guys.
Smackie9, by hanging out I did mean proper dates. Going out somewhere and talking one on one for HOURS at a time. Can't even count the number of times I've been out with her alone. It wasn't always drinking. It's mind-boggling to me that she was surprised when I made a move on her after having spend that much time and energy around her. I didn't "wait" for her. Just certain circumstances led to her being around in my life more.

[smackie9]

Just by what you said about her reaction tells me that you didn't make it clear to her your intentions. What did it was you being her buddy while she was with her BF, made her think you were just carrying on the same relationship. Stop being buddies with girls you want to bang.

[killabeez]

Yea I know it went wrong there I just couldn't help being around her. Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you were trying to give her another shot and see where it goes? Yea I guess it's not hypothetically speaking after all lol

[HeartIsAching]

Hypothetically speaking, I'd move the **** on. There are more women than men. I guarantee that she wasn't the right one, which means that there's likely a better one out there for you.

[iamaninnocentma]

Hypothetically speaking, I'd move the **** on. There are more women than men. I guarantee that she wasn't the right one, which means that there's likely a better one out there for you.

More women than men, lol. That may be true, but only like 10% of all females are pumpable, while, its like 45% males who are worth a ride. You really should get your facts right before giving bad advices.

[HeartIsAching]

I KNOW you think that 45% of the men out there are pumpable, but most men aren't of your orientation.

[iamaninnocentma]

I KNOW you think that 45% of the men out there are pumpable, but most men aren't of your orientation.

Im not chinese ya walloper. Hows the impregnating of that barren wasteland going. Youve been a little quiet on your womans cycle lately. I was worried.

[HeartIsAching]

I said orientation. Specifically sexual. I know your gate swings the other way.

[smackie9]

Lol!..................

[smackie9]

Yea I know it went wrong there I just couldn't help being around her. Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you were trying to give her another shot and see where it goes? Yea I guess it's not hypothetically speaking after all lol

Dude girls are the one that decides who they want to f uck. She has already decided that she doesn't want to f uck you, end of story. Move on.....it's too bad you didn't at least get a blow job out of the deal.

[chrisv24]

I would move on if I were you. You'll find someone out there for you!

[killabeez]

Well it's been a few days and I'm starting to forget about the whole thing. She was trying to reach me yesterday and left me a voice mail that she really wanted to talk to me and was being all nice blah blah blah....

You guys are a bunch of players. Yea move on man. I can get 5 beers in me and go to the bar and pick someone up without giving a flying f***. Hooking up isn't a problem and I hate that most relationships start with just casual sex. Probably why divorce percentage is phenomenally high nowadays...

I'm trying to learn as much from this whole deal anyway. Yea I can move on, but I think if I stick around a little more and try a few things there could be an outcome and I can LEARN things. I have kinda lost my feelings anyway, I'm just really curious how far this can go.