Need urgent advice and help!

[samyr]

Hi, i am going out with my girlfriend for over a year now. For the past 6 months, she has gone on and on about how she hates that i 'fancy' other women celebrities such as Rhianna and Beyonce as i told her at the start of our relationship about who i fancied and she told me guys that she fancied too. She has judges me and complains that i have had exes, 2 ex-girlfriends to be exact. She complains thats i never waited to have sex with the one like she did with me. It has come to the point now where i cant even mention a celebs name that she thinks that i fancy her. We argue what all of this about every week and its taking its toll.

We recently bought an engagment ring to which i was gonna ask her quite soon as i am so in love with her, but this has finally drained me to where i cant see it lasting until she deals with the fact that i had a life before her and that even though i dont fancy every woman, i do find some celeb women attractive like most men do.

Please give me advice of what to do and say please.

[smackie9]

Dump her jealous ass. She will always be relentless about it....and once you put that frickin ring on her finger she's gonna think she owns you and has full control over what you do and think. That ring is just gonna be used to throw at you when she says you don't care about her because you fancy the look of someone else.

[Wakeup]

Hi, i am going out with my girlfriend for over a year now. For the past 6 months, she has gone on and on about how she hates that i 'fancy' other women celebrities such as Rhianna and Beyonce as i told her at the start of our relationship about who i fancied and she told me guys that she fancied too. She has judges me and complains that i have had exes, 2 ex-girlfriends to be exact. She complains thats i never waited to have sex with the one like she did with me. It has come to the point now where i cant even mention a celebs name that she thinks that i fancy her. We argue what all of this about every week and its taking its toll.

We recently bought an engagment ring to which i was gonna ask her quite soon as i am so in love with her, but this has finally drained me to where i cant see it lasting until she deals with the fact that i had a life before her and that even though i dont fancy every woman, i do find some celeb women attractive like most men do.

Please give me advice of what to do and say please.

I agree that she'll probably not change so you'll likely be taking smackie's advise but before you do could tell her that if this doesn't stop, then you'll have no choice but to leave her because you have no intentions of putting up with this for the rest of your life.

[iamaninnocentma]

Beyonce is ****ing rotten ya sick ****.

[pisces25]

^ hahahahaha

[Boisdevie]

What to say to her. How about 'it's over'.

[Cerby]

This kind of thing only gets worse, soon you won't even be allowed to watch TV if there is a girl in a bikini on it. Any of your female friends will become things of the past, and then after that is done, then she'll start regulating your male friends too. She wants to be the center of your universe, and is even judging you about your past with 2 women?

Do not propose to this woman, you may love her, but you're better off without her. Find a woman who doesn't care who you look at, as long as you're getting it at home.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Agree with the others. Dump the bitch.

[MrHV]

Hey, so I have a similar experience and this is what I've discovered. The fact of the matter if that you both have to sit down and setup these "rules of engagement" for the conversation:

1) Getting angry is ok, loosing self-control is not - it's ok that she gets mad because it's just nature that when we want something, we don't want to imagine or think about someone else having of it. So you have to be understanding and absolutely emotionally supportive of this.

2) You have to make it very clear that there is nothing wrong with you (or her for that matter) finding someone attractive, it's human nature. Here is the action step though, you have to communicate that it's not that you set off having sexual fantasies about these women (as I'm sure she is not having sexual fantasy's about the guys she says are attractive), but also she has to be willing to accept those words. One thing is to make an observation of beauty another is engaging in ideas, thoughts and things like that about that person.

3) I recommend seeing if there is a root insecurity in her mind. It may be that either her need to feel loved is not being filled. Now I'm not saying you're not showing her love, but here is the thing. You have to get to know what makes her feel loved. Because what one woman takes as an expression of love another can take as shear annoyance.

But be encouraged my friend and in all things remember to love her. One last thing, you have to really make her feels special and let her know that you don't take for granted that she has waited and that you appreciate that gift she's given (or going to give) you. Let her know that you acknowledge that as something special and of high-value which makes her of high-worth, and you'll see great positive changes in your relationship.

Hope this was helpful. Love and Peace

[bebaba]

Return the ring. She will only get worse.
You may love her but her jealousy will ruin your life in the end.