Boyfriend built relationship upon lies. Help!

[LilyHeavenly]

I recently found out that my boyfriend of a few years basically lied to me before and during our relationship. I found out that while we were together and before we were about to get together that he was still in love with his ex. He lied about being single. When they broke up he kept telling me he loved me and went to see her everyday. He told her he loved her when they were separated. And refused to talk to me during Christmas bc he was mad and spent that time talking to her.
Everytime I try to bring the subject up he avoid it completely, shuts me out, and tells me it's in the past so it doesn't matter what happened. Should I leave it alone? Or is there a way to get through his wall and discuss it civily? Please help me...this has been going on forever...

[Chronicle113]

Well, IMO, I say leave it alone. People have to deal with their own problems. No matter what status that person is in, people have the free will and decision to broach the subject with you. People have to conquer their own demons before dealing with someone else. Over time, he will come around and make the decision to share his worries and deepest thoughts. It's not something easy for him to do at the moment, but I know that he will either make his decision and bury it in the past like he said he was or let it consume him. Just focus on yourself for now. When he sees that you no longer bring it up with him, he will then realize what he wants. Everyone has a past that they don't want others to know about. It's not about hiding it from you, it just a process he needs to handle. Once he's settled with it, he will move on and focus on the future. The past does make it who we are today. Just have trust and faith in him and I know he will come around. In the meantime, focus on you. If it not something you don't want to deal with, maybe it'll be time for you to move on despite how difficult it may to do that.

[iamaninnocentma]

All men lie, only the retards get caught. On that basis, you should ditch his stupid ass.

[bcgirl]

The relationship started off to a bad start. If someone isn't willing to talk bout shit they don't want to talk about then u can't force him to. Don't expect him to go ahead and tell u his honest feelings towards his ex. He will take it to the grave. U have a better chance to getting to the truth if u talk to his ex directly. U made a decision to stay with your bf, if that's your decision then leave this subject alone. What good can come of it even if he admits to everything? Will your relationship improve? Don't think so. Personally I would ditch the cheating bastard asap

[Wakeup]

Google "Rebound Relationship" and read what just happened to you, Lily.

Everytime I try to bring the subject up he avoid it completely, shuts me out, and tells me it's in the past so it doesn't matter what happened.

Just how long ago was the last time he spoke to his ex? Nevermind!

he lied about being single

That there is good enough reason for you not to want him for anything, never mind your boyfriend.

What do you think talkng about this with him will accomplish for you? Will it suddenly make you trust him, allow you to forgive him for stringing you along while he was in love with someone else all the while telling you he was single?