Does he not appreciate me?

[chocomo]

Hi guys,

So I'll try and keep this brief. My boyfriend has been going through a tough time with 3 major disappointments in his life over the past month. It's been a very emotionally volatile period for him and he's been feeling very very down. I've been there for him during this period and he's said that I've been really good to him and he really appreciates everything I'm doing. Today, he got a piece of really good news (about a job) that was his last resort so things are starting to pick up for him. We went out for lunch to celebrate and he's been happier. However, I can't help but feel a little upset by something he's said. I was with him when he got the good news this morning and he was hugging and kissing me and smiling. He then called his best friend to tell him the good news. On the phone he thanked him for all the support during this tough period and how appreciative he is. He said, "you've been the best and I don't know what I would have done without you." Then later this evening right before he went to work he was saying to me how his best friend has been there for him every step of the way. And then he added at the end, "oh, and obviously you've been as well." I can't help but feel a little upset because it seems like he's forgotten that I've been there for him during this tough period as well. I would listen to him for hours when he would talk about things or even when he would just lie in bed and not say anything. I bought him chocolate to cheer him up and took him out for lunch. He would say that he didn't like me seeing him so down and he wasn't normally so needy but he really needed me and my support. But it seems like now that everything is fine again he's just forgotten what I've done for him. Since this morning, he hasn't so much as said how much he's appreciated my support. I'm torn here because I feel like I shouldn't talk to him about this because it makes me look needy and selfish, but at the same time I feel upset that he's been thanking his best friend for all this support when I was giving him more support than anyone. Is he taking me for granted and doesn't appreciate me or am I over-thinking this entire thing? What should I do?

[just_shane]

To me, it just sounds like a bit of jealousy of his friend; and that's completely ok, its natural. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. He obviously loves you and is thankful for your support. Who knows, maybe when you're not around, he praises you to his friend.

He appreciates you :-)

[surfhb]

I dont get it? He said he appreciates what you've done....what's the issue?

[Chronicle113]

By what you said, it seems that he knew his best friend longer than you. It also looks like it's easy for him to express his appreciation for his best friend and hard for him to express his graditude toward you. By his behavior, as men, it seems that he feels somewhat ashamed of being helped by you because as a man, he feels that he needed to be the stong one in the relationship. At the same time, he truly appreciates your support. It's just hard for him to express it to you. It's a natural reaction to have for you. You're not being selfish. You just feel that you're not appreciated enough for your effort and support.