My boyfriend went to an escort

[Jess319]

I'm new here and this is my first post. I've never thought of using something like this but really don't know what else to do and think it might help. Here's the deal: my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and I recently found out he's used the site tnaboard.com in order to hook up with girls. I'm painfully disturbed by this. He did it before we met so I don't know how I should react to it. I found out about this on my own and he doesn't know that I know so I can't talk to him about it. Had he told me, it may have been different. From what I can gather from his posts on that site, it seems like he's only received blow jobs but who knows. He wrote reviews on how great the girls were, recommending them to others and stating he would use them again. We all have our pasts we may be ashamed of and don't like to talk about (I'm guilty of scandalous acts too) but nothing like this. He was living in Seattle at the time and is now in Wyoming so he has little to no access to something like that and I'm not too worried about him doing it again, I'm just disgusted he did it in the first place. I don't even know what I'm asking for, I think I just need to tell someone. I don't want to talk to my family (obviously) and we have a lot of the same friends so I don't want to tell them to save him the embarrassment. I'm disgusted by him doing something like but I also (in a way I can't even begin to explain) feel sorry for him. I wish he would talk to me about it and say some cliche like "I was in a dark place" or something, to make it better. I just want the feeling in my throat like I'm going to cry to go away and would kind of like to eat something as it's made me more or less sick for the last two days.

[VincenzoG91]

Men are capable of enjoying sex without any emotional connection. Since it happened before he got involved with you, he might not even be embarrassed about it. And since the past is the past, there is really nothing that can be done about it.

Btw, what were you doing at the tnaboard website? And why can't you talk to him about this?

[HeartIsAching]

Men are capable of enjoying sex without any emotional connection. Since it happened before he got involved with you, he might not even be embarrassed about it. And since the past is the past, there is really nothing that can be done about it.

Btw, what were you doing at the tnaboard website? And why can't you talk to him about this?

$20 says she was snooping on his computer.

[Jess319]

Well, if he's dumb enough to leave his email up on my computer and I see it, then I see it. I didn't even know the tnaboard existed until I saw his emails to various girls. It did happen before we met so you're right, there isn't much I can do about it. I just don't know if it can happen again. If he did it that many times before, is he likely to just stop because he has a girlfriend? That's what concerns me

[Jess319]

And why can't you talk to him about this?

I don't want it to cause problems because I looked at his email. That's an unacceptable thing for me to do which he would be upset about (rightfully so). I don't want to embarrass him either

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Why is it so disgusting? Because he paid some slut a few bucks to suck his wee wee?

Figure out if you can 'forgive' him and act normal, or not, and break up with him if you can't. You stupid ****ing cunt.

[Jess319]

You stupid ****ing cunt.

Wow. That seems a bit excessive.

[bcgirl]

Why is it so disgusting? Because he paid some slut a few bucks to suck his wee wee?

Hmm never mind the act of paying prostitutes, but how about the act of betrayal in the sense of CHEATING on his gf?!!!! geez

This guy is a real scumbag. I don't understand why you are keeping it all in, feeling sorry for him and just allowing this to slide so easily. The fact that he never told you means he meant to keep it a secret. plain and simple. He has all the opportunities during the day to tell you about his work, what he ate, blah blah blah....yet he seems to "forget" about something very big like paying big bucks for sexual favors. Or the fact that escorts are women who f*ck lots of men, it is their job and therefore may carry more diseases than the average woman. Doesn't the fear of passing you something concern him? Many men do get addicted to escorts. He definitely seems like one of them if he is posting reviews on forums rating the girls. Considering his past of paying for sex and the fact he goes on forums to rate girls, this is just the tip of the iceberg and i would bet he won't stop seeking hookers until he dies... or at least until his shlong isn't working anymore. He views women as objects he can f*ck and chuck without any consideration for your feelings and health. Don't kick yourself for feeling bad because you "invaded his privacy" or "dont wanna embarrass him". Sh*t, if you didn't invade you may never have found out. And i betcha this aint the first time he;s done this to you. Go check yourself out for std's and dump his ass.

[Jess319]

Hmm never mind the act of paying prostitutes, but how about the act of betrayal in the sense of CHEATING on his gf?!!!! geez

This guy is a real scumbag. I don't understand why you are keeping it all in, feeling sorry for him and just allowing this to slide so easily. The fact that he never told you means he meant to keep it a secret. plain and simple. He has all the opportunities during the day to tell you about his work, what he ate, blah blah blah....yet he seems to "forget" about something very big like paying big bucks for sexual favors. Or the fact that escorts are women who f*ck lots of men, it is their job and therefore may carry more diseases than the average woman. Doesn't the fear of passing you something concern him? Many men do get addicted to escorts. He definitely seems like one of them if he is posting reviews on forums rating the girls. Considering his past of paying for sex and the fact he goes on forums to rate girls, this is just the tip of the iceberg and i would bet he won't stop seeking hookers until he dies... or at least until his shlong isn't working anymore. He views women as objects he can f*ck and chuck without any consideration for your feelings and health. Don't kick yourself for feeling bad because you "invaded his privacy" or "dont wanna embarrass him". Sh*t, if you didn't invade you may never have found out. And i betcha this aint the first time he;s done this to you. Go check yourself out for std's and dump his ass.

Well, it did happen before we started dating, from what I can see from the posts on the tnaboard. However, they all exchanged phone numbers with him so he could have had contact via text or phone calls without using the forum. We started dating in December/January-ish and he didn't move here until mid February so there's plenty of time for something like that to have happened. I think it was more just parking lot blow jobs (hence the disgusting part) rather than sex but the dirtiness of it worries me. If he's willing to let one suck is dick I can't imagine why he wouldn't f*** one too. If he didn't do it since we started dating, he didn't cheat on me, but at the same time, he did it. I just don't know if I can deal with it

[ttylox]

It seems like the type of men who are involved in these types of recreational activities (whether they're single or not) are also the type of men who have deep-rooted insecurities that usually lead to other types of relationship and personal issues. So you'll have to decide how you feel about what this says about his character...
If you decide that you're alright being with a guy who paid women for BJs, then you'll just need to move on from this. If you want to bring it up without telling him you snooped into his private business then try asking him in a different way. Maybe tell him that a girlfriend of yours found out her boyfriend went to a hooker - then ask if he'd ever been to one.

[bcgirl]

I just don't know if I can deal with it

you obviously can't and that is fine....most of us won't be able to deal with it either. We are only human and we have feelings and emotions. I'm sure if the tables were turned, your bf wouldn't like it either!

If he's willing to let one suck is dick I can't imagine why he wouldn't f*** one too.

because it costs more money, but i'm sure he has.

Communication is key. Do talk to him about it. Why are you so scared that you've invaded his privacy? You seem very scared about losing him which concerns me even more. That is probably why you two are together, he has the upper hand while you play the passive role.

[Jess319]

It seems like the type of men who are involved in these types of recreational activities (whether they're single or not) are also the type of men who have deep-rooted insecurities that usually lead to other types of relationship and personal issues. So you'll have to decide how you feel about what this says about his character...
If you decide that you're alright being with a guy who paid women for BJs, then you'll just need to move on from this. If you want to bring it up without telling him you snooped into his private business then try asking him in a different way. Maybe tell him that a girlfriend of yours found out her boyfriend went to a hooker - then ask if he'd ever been to one.

I can just seem him with these women and it turns my stomach. I can't decide if I'm hurt, frustrated, disgusted, irrational, or just getting involved in something that's none of my business. I have no idea how I would bring it up to him. We had already talked about one of my ex-s wanting to find a girl through a similar website to have a threesome with and that didn't spark any conversation from him about him doing it. From the sounds of it, I think I just attract the creeps with weird sexual issues. I just think if he wanted to get laid he could. He's a good looking dude, young and was living in Seattle. I have a hard time believing there's no drunk chicks in the bars out there! I am just having a hard time deciding how I feel about it I think. Maybe just need some time to get over it and move on

[bcgirl]

Maybe tell him that a girlfriend of yours found out her boyfriend went to a hooker - then ask if he'd ever been to one.

This would be lying and honesty and proper communication is key. Don't lie. It will dig you deeper into a hole. He will ask you "which gf?" or become suspicious that maybe you know etc. Just come clean

[ttylox]

From the sounds of it, I think I just attract the creeps with weird sexual issues.

If that's really how you feel, then you absolutely need to move on. Don't waste your time or your energy worrying about this. Anyway, if you're going to leave anyway - you may as well ask him about it. You also might want to let him know that not all these women are involved in what they do voluntarily. Sex trafficking and slavery is shamefully common (even in the US!)

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Wow. That seems a bit excessive.

Care to respond to the substance of my post?