Crush on a married man...what is going on in his mind?

[JM2012]

I (32) am having a crush on a married man (34) for about a year now. It started because we both couldn`t help but stare into each other's eyes for ages whenever we met. He was also flirting with me, e.g. teasing me, looking at me with a big smile whenever he cracked a joke in a group of co-workers, checking me out (elevator look when I was passing by etc.). When I realized that my work quality suffered from this crush (we were working in the same department) I applied for a transfer. He asked me why I had done that. I tried to evade the topic and gave him some fragile excuse. But he insisted and finally I told him I liked him a bit too much.... he stared at me for what appeared to be ages, then he turned around and said that he understood. So his reaction didn't give me any clue to his own feelings but I took it as a sign that he was just flirting for fun whereas I had developed more feelings. I still had to work in that department for 2 months before the transfer took place. I was afraid that our relationship was going to be awkward after my "confession", but when we met first met after that incident he smiled and smirked at me and we locked eyes like before as if nothing ever happened. I also realized that his best friend (who never paid attention to me before) started to smirk every time he saw me and covertly informed my crush that I was somewhere near. I had asked him to keep this (my confession) to ourselves so it hurt me to realize that he obviously told his friend something about me (although I don't know what exactly he had told him). After my transfer we are still meeting each other accidentally about once or twice per week in the main department. Two weeks ago I first realized that he no longer wears his wedding band (which he always used to wear before) and now he winks at me every time we see us and we still stare into each other's eyes for ages. This whole thing is making me crazy because I can't stop thinking about him. What the hell is going on in his mind? I'm torn between being angry with him because I fear he is playing with my emotions and then again he is keeping my hopes up high that he secretly reciprocates......

[AnnonymousMan]

Confront him, ask him what his intentions are. No head games. If he is married to another woman though, you need to consider that. You might be tempting him to go outside of his marriage or something and that is why he is so hesitant and resistant of you and most likely battles himself to keep away from you like that. Assuming that he wants you.

[Wakeup]

He's married? Step away, sista.

besides... this same story pops up every year on the forums as well. it's like a Christmas Story at Christmas and Moses and the Ten Commandments during Passover.

[IndiReloaded]

If he'll do it to her, he'll do it to you. This story is as old as the hills. Respect for self translates to respect for others. He disrespects his wife and, therefore, himself. Find a man who doesn't have these issues.

[Fruitsss]

If he is married it doesnt matter what u feel. u need to stay away from him.
u knew from day one that he is not single so u should have not keep thinking and give him attention.

u need to stop that bullshit and ask them to transfer u as soon as possible.
so u can stop giving this men reason to cheat on his wife.

get your own men, u can never win from a married woman.
have some self respect

[theone11]

If he'll do it to her, he'll do it to you. This story is as old as the hills. Respect for self translates to respect for others. He disrespects his wife and, therefore, himself. Find a man who doesn't have these issues.

Couldnt agree more. It will come back to bite you 100%

[smackie9]

I (32) am having a crush on a married man (34) for about a year now. It started because we both couldn`t help but stare into each other's eyes for ages whenever we met. He was also flirting with me, e.g. teasing me, looking at me with a big smile whenever he cracked a joke in a group of co-workers, checking me out (elevator look when I was passing by etc.). When I realized that my work quality suffered from this crush (we were working in the same department) I applied for a transfer. He asked me why I had done that. I tried to evade the topic and gave him some fragile excuse. But he insisted and finally I told him I liked him a bit too much.... he stared at me for what appeared to be ages, then he turned around and said that he understood. So his reaction didn't give me any clue to his own feelings but I took it as a sign that he was just flirting for fun whereas I had developed more feelings. I still had to work in that department for 2 months before the transfer took place. I was afraid that our relationship was going to be awkward after my "confession", but when we met first met after that incident he smiled and smirked at me and we locked eyes like before as if nothing ever happened. I also realized that his best friend (who never paid attention to me before) started to smirk every time he saw me and covertly informed my crush that I was somewhere near. I had asked him to keep this (my confession) to ourselves so it hurt me to realize that he obviously told his friend something about me (although I don't know what exactly he had told him). After my transfer we are still meeting each other accidentally about once or twice per week in the main department. Two weeks ago I first realized that he no longer wears his wedding band (which he always used to wear before) and now he winks at me every time we see us and we still stare into each other's eyes for ages. This whole thing is making me crazy because I can't stop thinking about him. What the hell is going on in his mind? I'm torn between being angry with him because I fear he is playing with my emotions and then again he is keeping my hopes up high that he secretly reciprocates......

He's signalling you that he is open for an extramarital affair......you are playing with fire. Set aside your emotions and take a good look at what you could be getting yourself into. It's spells disaster.

[smackie9]

BTW you are 32 year old adult woman....stop acting like a naive 20 year old girl.

[toknow]

I'm not going to tell you to stay away from him, because this will only encourage you to see him more. But, what is your goal here? What do you think will happen, and what do you want to happen. Or is it just for the natural high you get.

[Wakeup]

Her stupidity will encourage her to see him more.. Our recommendations against it won't encourageor influence her in the least.

Doesn't matter anyway, Op is a troll that posts this same scenerio often just to get responses for some psycho reason that only it knows about.