Need Some Opinions on a Situation

[bewd1187]

Back in July I met a girl at an event. Although we only talked for about 3 minutes there, she ended up sending a friend request to me on Facebook. Through the month of July we got to talking quite a bit on Facebook, and she even gave me her phone number so I could text her. She did talk to a lot of people though, and gave her phone number out to a lot of people. She was homeless and living at a motel at the time, and was bored. We would talk a few days a week, just about everything. Eventually we met up in August again at another event, and was able to talk in person. The day before we even chatted online for over 4 hours.

A week after that, she posted a message on Facebook asking if anyone could help her and her family move into their house. She lived in the next city over, so I offered to help her out. I helped her out for 2 days moving, and we seemed to start getting even closer. Soon after, she had to go dorm room supply shopping and she mentioned she didn't like shopping alone. I offered to go with, since I thought it would be kind of fun. We went around looking for things about 3-4 times before she had everything together. We started texting or Facebook messaging each other everyday at this point, and saw each other 2-3 times a week. She was really open with me, and even told me her closest guy friend was jealous that we were hanging out so much. When the time came for her to move in to her dorm, she asked if I could help her, even though her guy friend offered to help her. Outside of helping her bring her stuff to the school, her family didn't actually help her setup her room while I did. We even went thrift store shopping because she needed some things for a costume. The more we did things together, I started developing feeling for her.

Once she was in school, she invited me to go visit her. We still saw each other about twice a week and grabbed dinner. We were still talking pretty frequently. We were talking pretty much daily at this point, although she's busier due to school. Eventually I told myself I had to tell her I liked her. Unfortunately everytime I wanted to tell her, she was extremely upset. I know there's no such thing as the "right time", but I didn't want to put more on her mind. First time her ex had IM'd her that night while I was there, and she was extremely upset since he broke her heart. Second time her guy friend had said something to her best friend on campus, and her friend was upset with her. She was crying hard, and I was lucky enough that I was there at the time. Third time she had just pawned off her very important ring in order for her mom to have money for her addiction. Fourth time her roommate, who is never there, was in the room. Eventually beginning of October I was fed up of waiting, so I decided to PM her on a message board she goes on everyday telling her I liked her. I'm almost positive read it since she reads all her other messages. She didn't respond or react in anyway though, and she still talked to me.

I know she enjoys talking with me, since a lot of time she contacts me first. I also know that her parents think we're dating since I bring her home from time to time. Her dad actually told me "make sure you take care of her", as well as that he doesn't like most of her friends, but he likes me. Her mom also knows I care about her a lot. The time my friend was crying really bad, she had used my phone to talk to her mom. Her mom texted me the next day thanking me for being there for her, and that I'm very kind and sweet to her.

Yesterday she started posting some cryptic messages and quote on Facebook having to do with finding the right guy, and things like that. At this point I know she liked someone, and I pretty much figured out it wasn't me. I don't know why, but she messaged me yesterday night saying how happy she was, but wouldn't tell me why. I figured it out though pretty easily, and it is in fact a guy. I don't know why she would tell me this though, when she knows I have feelings for her. It's kind of like the ultimate slap in the face. She knows the guy through a friend, but she has never physically met the guy. She has only chatted and skyped with the guy, since she told me he lived very far away but it trying to move closer. She seems to really be in love with the guy though from what she posted.

It's pretty upsetting that I felt we really bonded, but I guess it was just one sided. Since she messaged me about how happy she was, I'm almost positive she only sees me as a friend and nothing more. It bothers me a bit that she would message me that too. I'm not going to break off our friendship, but I don't think I can hang out with her as often, or maybe keep our chats to online only. This upset me greatly, since I don't usually like people that easily. I was hoping for something, but guess not.

[Ladybuggg]

I think u helped her and stuff cause u like her.and wanted to have her.so as part of your plan. Not cause u really care.so now u cant get her u dont want to be there.but dude you should have told her or flirt or something like that that u like her while helping her moving or other times u was with her.u cant be a helper and asume she is going to wait for u or like u.cause u did not ask her to date or something so u was just a friend to her..u was to slow.

[bewd1187]

I helped her move because she was a friend in need. I have done the same for multiple friends in the past, male and female, and it doesn't mean I like them in that way. I wanted to tell her multiple times, but you don't really want to tell someone you like them when they're really upset with personal problems. It could possibly just make them angry at you. Although I didn't physically tell her, I did end up messaging her about it, and I'm positive she saw the message. Although not quite a "date", we did go out to dinner quite a bit and spend a lot of time talking.

I just wonder why she would tell me that she's so happy out of nowhere. My other female friend thinks that she was just using me all this time to get around As for waiting around, she sure seems like she's willing to wait months to be with some guy that she has never met before. I am planning on giving her a Christmas present as well as a letter that will give me closure on all this.

[ttylox]

Yeah because giving her a Christmas present is totally normal and not creepy or totally inappropriate at all.

[bewd1187]

I don't see how a present is inappropriate or creepy exactly...I give presents to all my close friends though so I don't see what's wrong with that. Not like it's going to be a gift that people give each other when they're dating. It'll probably be just a gift card to the mall or something. Plus the letter will give me closure finally. Not like I'm trying to get her to like me in that way, since it's already too late for that and I don't think I could continue to have feelings for her after this. I just want to do one final nice thing for her.

I'm pretty sure she used me a bit though. I found out more details about the guy she likes, and he's a military guy. Considering that she is willing to wait for him, that means she has to have known him for a good while now. That means the last few months she must have just been sort of using me to help her do things, which is kind of painful...