Do I need to move on? PLEASE HELP!

[LilMoonBunny]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over four years. It's been a long distance relationship for the entire time. We have been very dedicated to eachother, and have been through a lot together. I love him very much. Recently, we got the opportunity to finally start our life together and move into an apartment. After being together for over four years, we have obviously discussed marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. This apartment seemed like the end of our painful period of separation. However, my boyfriend, who is 22 years old- an adult, went to his father about us moving in together. His father, being a conservative Catholic, flipped out on my boyfriend, telling him that moving in with me would be disrespecting God, and forgetting his family, and that they would never support our marriage if we ever move in together. He also told my boyfriend that he felt as though he failed as a father for my boyfriend to be saying such things. It was enough to make my boyfriend completely change his mind about us moving in together, along with questioning whether or not he is a good son. He tells me he doesn't agree with what his father tells him, but he can't bring himself to stand up because he is afraid to lose his father's respect. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I am starting to fear what will happen in our future. I don't think my boyfriend realizes how bad this situation is. It's not like I want him to hurt his parents' feelings... I care about them a lot too, and I want them to keep a healthy and strong relationship. However, The separation between us is killing me and there seems to be no end to it, unless he can step up to his parents. We won't be getting married for another 3-4 years because we both want to finish school and save up for the wedding. Is it time to call it quits and find someone who is more secure with himself and his adluthood? Or do I stick by my love? If I stay, how do I reach a comprimise? Should I talk to his parents? Anything you guys could tell me would be great.

[Steve2004]

Wow. This situation sucks.

What i would do if i was in your place, is first i would talk to my boyfriend and see if HE first could try and talk to his dad about it again. If that doesn't work. I'd probably approach the father myself. And if that still didn't sway his decision on y'all moving in together. Well..that just depends on you. If you're willing to wait another 3-4 years to live with him, and he's worth it, and you think that the parents wont be a HUGE problem to you both in the future, then i say wait it out. However, if you think his parents are going to be butting in like this the rest of y'alls life, and if he really isn't worth the wait, i wouldn't stay. I'm going to guess you're in college, and college is a good opportunity to meet other people. It's really up to you and whether or not the juice is worth the squeeze :)