facebook

[ttylox]

my bf has 239 friends, a lot which are female, and I should say younger also and they are very beautiful and sexy i should say.

Why were you going through his list of friends? I just can't imagine any situation where I would feel "sick to my stomach" if I saw my BF give a thumbs up to a cleavage pic on some random chick's FB page. Does it bother you that he actually likes it or that he posted it online that he likes it? What if instead of posting a thumbs up on the picture he just gave his computer screen an actual thumbs up when he saw the picture? Would it bother you the same?

[HeartIsAching]

Its only fair she knows what type of person is judging her, dont you think?

Yap yap yap

[iamaninnocentma]

Yap yap yap

lol, has your therapist told you to ignore the nasty man on the interweb? Stop judging people and i'll stop telling everyone that youre a wife beating ex con. Simple.

[HeartIsAching]

More yapping.

[Wakeup]

Op: If he offered to take his facebook profile down, then why not let him since you don't like what he's doing while he's on it?

Anyway, why not compromise? Ask him to make his profile more restricted so that these bimbos can't see it and friend request him. If he's still getting new "friends" after that, well then it means he's searching them out and then you can discuss with him if/when that happens why he's having a need to befriend stripper types.

It really doesn't matter if others would be fine with their partner "liking" something on another woman's facebook page or that anyone else thinks you may be insecure because of your preferences. The point is you don't like it, it's causing you angst so it's best that you resolve the issue in a way that you'll both (you and your husband) be okay with.

[ttylox]

It really doesn't matter if others would be fine with their partner "liking" something on another woman's facebook page or that anyone else thinks you may be insecure because of your preferences. The point is you don't like it, it's causing you angst so it's best that you resolve the issue in a way that you'll both (you and your husband) be okay with.

Her original question was if she was making too big a deal about this - and we answered her with our opinions as that is exactly what she was seeking. She's obviously not familiar with the world of Facebook and doesn't realize that social networking friend lists do not reflect real life. I think it's important for people to move on from this petty Facebook crap or at least leave it to the tweens. Dwelling on things like this (feeling physically ill over a FB photo!) is a sure way to end up creating a toxicity. And it *does* matter - insecurity is a relationship killer.

[Wakeup]

Her original question was if she was making too big a deal about this - and we answered her with our opinions as that is exactly what she was seeking. She's obviously not familiar with the world of Facebook and doesn't realize that social networking friend lists do not reflect real life. I think it's important for people to move on from this petty Facebook crap or at least leave it to the tweens. Dwelling on things like this (feeling physically ill over a FB photo!) is a sure way to end up creating a toxicity. And it *does* matter - insecurity is a relationship killer.

Seriously? Google "Divorce due to facebook" and take a gander at the number of people that take it so seriously that they hook up with highschool sweethearts, site facebook as the reason for their divorce etc.

Its a problem for her. It's not one for you. She thinks its a problem for her, what we think doesn't really matter if after leaving the thread it still bothers her so: This is about her and how she is feeling about facebook and how her husband uses it, not about you or how you use it. I've given her a solution to her angst. Whether she uses it or not is up to her.

And it *does* matter - insecurity is a relationship killer.

Then perhaps her husband should stop acting like a "tween" and help her to be less insecure through his actions instead of telling her with unsubstatiated words without action that do sweet bugger all to aleviate her angst????

[iamaninnocentma]

Facebook is good for one thing and one thing only, spying on ex gfs in bikinis. Anyone that uses it for anything other than that is a cunt. Fact.

[ttylox]

yawn. I think you're making too big a deal about it too and reading a little too much into what she wrote. She didn't say he was chatting with some chick from HS, or that he even *knows* these women, in fact she explicitly said that he doesn't talk to them and they're all over the world. She was specifically concerned with the number of friends he has compared to her - if that doesn't qualify as petty, then I don't know what does. It's issues like this that show that some people are just incapable of being happy - making such big deals over absolutely nothing takes time and energy away from enjoying life and love.
And yes, I agree he should stop acting like a tween. They both should.

[Wakeup]

Whatever. You have your opinion, I have mine. Tis all good.

[Lynda]

yes they are all over the world including here. but I'm not upset because he has more friends then me! I can have as many as him if I wanted to, but i don't have the need for it. I don't want people I don't know on my facebook. it was strictly about the girl's pic in question. I would never force him to remove his fb profile, that would mean I don't trust him. If I didn't I wouldn't be with him. I simply wanted to know if it was normal behavior or not. If I was seeing it to be more then it is.

yawn. I think you're making too big a deal about it too and reading a little too much into what she wrote. She didn't say he was chatting with some chick from HS, or that he even *knows* these women, in fact she explicitly said that he doesn't talk to them and they're all over the world. She was specifically concerned with the number of friends he has compared to her - if that doesn't qualify as petty, then I don't know what does. It's issues like this that show that some people are just incapable of being happy - making such big deals over absolutely nothing takes time and energy away from enjoying life and love.
And yes, I agree he should stop acting like a tween. They both should.

[Wakeup]

I would never force him to remove his fb profile, that would mean I don't trust him.

But you don't trust him. If you did, this wouldn't be an issue and you'd not care about any of it because you trusted him.

I simply wanted to know if it was normal behavior or not. If I was seeing it to be more then it is.

So now that the majority thinks you're seeing more into it then what it is, do you plan to be fine with his facebook interactions from here on in?

[haxan]

For him it's normal, for you it's not. Why are you even looking at his Facebook page? Is he showing it to you, along with the pics? Or just another he left it on the screen and I happened to wander by moments?

My wife has been on Facebook for a couple of years, I've never read anything she's ever posted or that was posted on her page. I don't know anything about it, and don't have a Facebook page. Like you said, you don't care, he's with you, not them. It's normal for some people, your boyfriend for example. Just let it be. If he wanted to leave you and be with someone else, he can. He wasn't sentenced to be with you.

Be yourself, let him be himself and enjoy life.

[Lynda]

Just to let you know, I do trust him or I wouldn'tl be with him I won't live in doubt all the time. You must not confuse asking if it's normal or not about the fb stuff and trust. And to answer your question, yes I will definitely leave it at that, it's not something that I will bring up again. He knows I didn't like it so I asume he will be more attentive to my feelings. He is a guy I trust and totally, He treats me right if he didn't I show it, then I would question the fb stuff and would hit the road, It might be the only time that I see the difference in age, cause at my age, we are not as into the fb stuff, it's from a different generation.

But you don't trust him. If you did, this wouldn't be an issue and you'd not care about any of it because you trusted him.

So now that the majority thinks you're seeing more into it then what it is, do you plan to be fine with his facebook interactions from here on in?

[Lynda]

You are right, i won't disagree. I do not go on his computer to check his stuff out. I was just wondering why he never asked to add me on his fb and I then went on his profile and saw what I saw. I would like to add, that since I know him, I do not want to see his fb stuff cause I am not used to being with a guy who has a lot of girl friends, even if they are not really his friends. So I didn,t want to be freaked out by all that stuff. I guess, this tought me a lesson. just for your information. He has checked my fb profile and even checked it out on my computer after 5 months of being with him, he even checked my history conversations, and he as done this a few times. it took him about 8 months before he could trust me because of bad experiences in the past.

For him it's normal, for you it's not. Why are you even looking at his Facebook page? Is he showing it to you, along with the pics? Or just another he left it on the screen and I happened to wander by moments?

My wife has been on Facebook for a couple of years, I've never read anything she's ever posted or that was posted on her page. I don't know anything about it, and don't have a Facebook page. Like you said, you don't care, he's with you, not them. It's normal for some people, your boyfriend for example. Just let it be. If he wanted to leave you and be with someone else, he can. He wasn't sentenced to be with you.

Be yourself, let him be himself and enjoy life.