In need of advice and comments.

[CambridgeGuy]

Well my “ex” wasn’t technically my ex. We were never together romantically for many reasons. Mainly, I needed to find a job and get in shape. Those were my priorities when we first met. She also needed to finish school and get a job. I always knew that at some point that I would want more, but before any of that I needed to make sure that my priorities were taken care of first. We were going out to movies, dinner, lunch, walks, shopping etc. during the time when we were both “too busy” for a relationship. During this time I tried to push her away twice as we were competing for the exact same jobs and I didn’t want to get hurt as I knew that I would eventually fall for her if I continued to see her. I twice asked to not see her but she persisted to insist that we saw each other to prepare for job interviews. I was not in a really good, confident, space when I was seeing her and didn’t do the romantic things that I had done in the past with other girls (i.e., wining and dining) because I wanted to get in great shape and getting a job was number one priority. After I got a great job with her preparation she asked me to the movies and I thought that I needed to try to make some type of move as she was whispering in my ear etc. I tried to hold her hand but she refused saying “it was weird” . I was pretty hurt but still saw her as I felt it was only the right thing to do since she was there when I was looking for a job. We basically continue to act like we were bf and gf: going out to dinner, movies, walks, seeing each other for 10hrs/week. I continued with my great job and getting in shape during this time thinking I was going to start the romantic stuff when she got a job as it was not going to work out until she did. The turmoil and games of a romantic relationship while she was trying to get a job (adding more turmoil) would be to much for both her and I and if she doesn't get a job she might not be around for long.I was extending myself too much for her to get a job giving her my time, money, energy, and connections and was starting to get burned out. She has or had job interviews coming up (this was last week) and I knew she would want to meet and prepare. I was going to be busy that week so I texted her that I was not going to be available and asked her if she wanted to meet that day. She said she was really busy and could only come over for one hour. I said ok, “have a good day” but she persisted to see if we could meet. I asked her what was so important that she could only meet for an hour for that single time window and she refused to tell me. I felt disrespected as I tell her everything and have given so much to her finding a job and said that I deserved to know and that she treats me like a creep at times. I waited about 5 days after that and texted and called her but got no answer. I made a final text that said thx for being there for me, I care for you deeply, I am here for you, and good luck with everything This was 2 days ago and still no answer. She loves to text and would often text when we saw each other which bothered me so I know how important texting is these days. As i focused on my life and career I have forgotten how to be that romantic guy and want to get it back. I think she will eventually want to see me again and I want to be ready when she does. I am nearly at my goal of being in great shape ( I got the job I wanted) and want to seduce her when that time comes. I pray that she has found a job by then. I am worried that she will text before 30 days is up and that I shouldn’t ignore her. I just want to be ready for when we see each other so I can be the romantic guy that she wants but got lost in face the realities of life. This programs looks like it could be what I need. I love her.

[AdminOnline]

Hi CambridgeGuy and welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion! Hope you enjoy your stay here.

[smackie9]

Well my “ex” wasn’t technically my ex. We were never together romantically for many reasons. Mainly, I needed to find a job and get in shape. Those were my priorities when we first met. She also needed to finish school and get a job. I always knew that at some point that I would want more, but before any of that I needed to make sure that my priorities were taken care of first. We were going out to movies, dinner, lunch, walks, shopping etc. during the time when we were both “too busy” for a relationship. During this time I tried to push her away twice as we were competing for the exact same jobs and I didn’t want to get hurt as I knew that I would eventually fall for her if I continued to see her. I twice asked to not see her but she persisted to insist that we saw each other to prepare for job interviews. I was not in a really good, confident, space when I was seeing her and didn’t do the romantic things that I had done in the past with other girls (i.e., wining and dining) because I wanted to get in great shape and getting a job was number one priority. After I got a great job with her preparation she asked me to the movies and I thought that I needed to try to make some type of move as she was whispering in my ear etc. I tried to hold her hand but she refused saying “it was weird” . I was pretty hurt but still saw her as I felt it was only the right thing to do since she was there when I was looking for a job. We basically continue to act like we were bf and gf: going out to dinner, movies, walks, seeing each other for 10hrs/week. I continued with my great job and getting in shape during this time thinking I was going to start the romantic stuff when she got a job as it was not going to work out until she did. The turmoil and games of a romantic relationship while she was trying to get a job (adding more turmoil) would be to much for both her and I and if she doesn't get a job she might not be around for long.I was extending myself too much for her to get a job giving her my time, money, energy, and connections and was starting to get burned out. She has or had job interviews coming up (this was last week) and I knew she would want to meet and prepare. I was going to be busy that week so I texted her that I was not going to be available and asked her if she wanted to meet that day. She said she was really busy and could only come over for one hour. I said ok, “have a good day” but she persisted to see if we could meet. I asked her what was so important that she could only meet for an hour for that single time window and she refused to tell me. I felt disrespected as I tell her everything and have given so much to her finding a job and said that I deserved to know and that she treats me like a creep at times. I waited about 5 days after that and texted and called her but got no answer. I made a final text that said thx for being there for me, I care for you deeply, I am here for you, and good luck with everything This was 2 days ago and still no answer. She loves to text and would often text when we saw each other which bothered me so I know how important texting is these days. As i focused on my life and career I have forgotten how to be that romantic guy and want to get it back. I think she will eventually want to see me again and I want to be ready when she does. I am nearly at my goal of being in great shape ( I got the job I wanted) and want to seduce her when that time comes. I pray that she has found a job by then. I am worried that she will text before 30 days is up and that I shouldn’t ignore her. I just want to be ready for when we see each other so I can be the romantic guy that she wants but got lost in face the realities of life. This programs looks like it could be what I need. I love her.

Sounds like you got a bad case of friend zone.

[bellavip001]

thanks, hehehe

[basilandthyme]

Hi bellavip, yep you've been friendzoned. But it was a lot of your own doing. Putting a girl who you really like on the back burner because you're looking for a job and want to get in shape is a great way to turn her off. I mean - seriously - you put your own physique as a higher priority than her!! No way would I go for a guy who did that.

Not only did you lose the chance to cultivate all that early zing, you put her as 3rd priority in your life.