Very confused. I read her texts .....

[Sumguy]

Hey guys I am confused here.
So there is this girl we met 5 months ago at a concert and have talked every day since and have hungout almost every weekend since also but never goin more than two weeks without seeing each other. She lives 4 hours away. Anyways things are awesome and she wants to move in with me and she told me she loved me like a month or two ago . She asked if I was her boyfriend too and I said I wanted to ask her in person. So anyways basically I think we're Falling in love and I want to make her my official girlfriend. We've told each other
A few times already in one way or another that I'm all here and she all mine but because of the distance we would wait.

So now I didn't see her for 3 weeks because we couldn't make the ride those weekends. The last weekend before she came to me she went to a concert and didn't answer all night till the morning . She said she was goin with her 2 girlfriends. I figured she got drunk and just passed out at home after or her girlfriends . Than there was a picture of her with the same guy in a few pics on Facebook at the show so I got jealous and asked her if she has hooked up with anyone and she said no and even got mad at me for asking which I understood but now I don't because I found it was true . It bugged me so bad that when she finally came to my apartment for the weekend I read her txts and sure as shit she talked to him about how they hooked up and hiw bad she wants him and was sexting him all week and had planned to go to this show with him for like a month or two. She also has been lying to me about what she's doing. She says she's at he girlfriends but she's really with her ex boyfriend or chillin late atnight with another dude .


Idk what to do she was supposed to be my sweetheart and I know snooping almost nullifies the whole thing but than I was right ??? Also were not offIcial yet but we pretty much are....idk what to do I haven't told her I know !!

[ttylox]

Well snooping isn't quite as bad as being a whorebag and lying about it. It sucks that you invaded her privacy, but I suppose it's better that you find out now that she's a liar than later...

Be done with her! If she's lying to you now, she'll lie to you when you're together too. Don't expect her to change just because she's let you finally believe you're "official". Just end it now and save yourself the heartache.

[iamaninnocentma]

Cut her out your life dude. Life is too short for lying bitches like this. Dont even give her a chance to explain, in fact text her and say youve met someone else and she can go **** herself. Call her fat also, its a good parting shot.

[Peter_rocks]

Idk what to do she was supposed to be my sweetheart and I know snooping almost nullifies the whole thing but than I was right ??? Also were not offIcial yet but we pretty much are....idk what to do I haven't told her I know !!

This one is pretty easy: leave her and move on.
Sorry but this decision needs to be taken.

[iamaninnocentma]

This one is pretty easy: leave her and move on.
Sorry but this decision needs to be taken.

Yeah man, just copy everyone else and pass it off as your own advice. Genius.

[Sumguy]

Does anyone see a way this could go the other way ? How can I tell her I know without admitting I snooped ? What should i do ! Unjust told her i loved her too before I found out .....is it still wrong if we're not dating for her to do that ??

[Maple1714]

She doesn't care about you or respect you. Sorry, you should forget about her. Long distance is hard anyway...without trust it will never work! Try and meet a nice girl that lives in the same town as you.

[MaidenMinx]

Does anyone see a way this could go the other way ? How can I tell her I know without admitting I snooped ? What should i do ! Unjust told her i loved her too before I found out .....is it still wrong if we're not dating for her to do that ??

If you want to confront her, be honest about snooping. Start with that and get it out of the way. How can you expect honesty from her if you don't intend on giving it yourself?
I've done this before. I used to be super paranoid and snooped often. I would often try and get information out of him without being upfront about why I was asking so many strange questions. It often led to more distrust and hurt feelings. Then I started one day with, "I know I shouldn't have and I feel bad about it. I've been reading your text messages and I need to ask some questions." This disarmed him a bit and it wasn't until after he had answered some questions that we got on to the fact that I had snooped. It wasn't a fun conversation but it had to be done.

It also sounds like you guys never made things exclusive and with that in mind, you can't hold the sleeping with someone else against her, though the lying is a different matter.

If both of you want to make this work, it is completely plausible that you can get past this with time and effort. Plausible is different to likely though.