Trying too hard. Help needed.

[nesser70]

Hello,

I am hoping some one could give me some much needed advice.

I started seeing this girl about 3 weeks ago and I really like her. The problem is am feel like I am trying too hard to please her and that by doing it, it is pushing her away. We both came from previous relationships were we got cheated on so we agreed to take things slowly.

I guess I am struggling to find that limit between trying too hard and not trying hard enough. We text every day but I feel that I am texting her too many times and that she finds this to clingy.

I came from a relationship where I couldn't trust my ex g/f. She cheated on me several times to get back at me over silly little things like working long hours and being tired when I got home. I couldn't leave her on a night out because she would be chatting someone up or getting drunk and kissing someone.

I know I have trust issues which I am trying to banish but they seem to be haunting me. I think the trust issues go hand in hand with trying to hard.

I really want us to work out but if I keep going the way I am going there won't be an us. Can anyone give me some advice because me head is a little screwed up at the moment. I just hope it ain't too late to save us.

Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you.

[ttylox]

Every time you let what your ex did to you affect the way you act in your new relationships, you are only making it worse for yourself. In any situation, if you feel yourself getting jealous or weirded out or feel like texting her in a moment you might not normally, ask yourself if you're doing it because of HER or you're doing it because of your EX.

If you feel like you're being clingy, you probably are. Just resist the urge. Practice self-control and patience and realize that as much as it sucks to not text her every 45 seconds asking where she is and who shes with and if shes thinking about you, it sucks 15 times more to be that clingy dude that got kicked to the curb because he is still damaged from his past relationship.

[Peter_rocks]

Man, you're doing it wrong.
Pleasing won't create trust and pleasing will definitively not make her love you more.
What will make you more attractive is being a character among other stuffs. I can expand on that if you want.

[Phil Davies]

I just read the thread title.

STOP IT.

[iamaninnocentma]

Man, you're doing it wrong.
Pleasing won't create trust and pleasing will definitively not make her love you more.
What will make you more attractive is being a character among other stuffs. I can expand on that if you want.

Yeah expand man. We're all bored as **** here.