How do you "date" without "attraction"?

[smackie9]

How's your sex drive? The main reason guys find hot chicks attractive is because of their hormones...hormones is what drives you to pursue and want to "hit that". Maybe you should get your testosterone levels checked.

So anything tragic or disturbing happen to you in your childhood? Sometimes what happens in childhood will dictate your behavior in adulthood.

[Phil Davies]

Well yes, that's my stance, but clearly there's something... off, about me and the way I find "attraction", right? I mean, it's not exactly normal for a guy in his early 20s to never have dated and have only been attracted to a handful of girls in his lifetime, right?

Serious question, any chance you like dudes?

[Indestructible]

How's your sex drive? The main reason guys find hot chicks attractive is because of their hormones...hormones is what drives you to pursue and want to "hit that". Maybe you should get your testosterone levels checked.

Er... As far as what? I mean, how do you "measure" your "sex drive" when you're not sexually active? I suppose I would say mine is about normal, it just doesn't get, uh... "directed" towards girls I meet in passing, if that makes any sense.

So anything tragic or disturbing happen to you in your childhood? Sometimes what happens in childhood will dictate your behavior in adulthood.

Not that I can recall, no.

[Indestructible]

Serious question, any chance you like dudes?

Nope. Actually, I did wonder this about myself in the past, but I can honestly say I'm not attracted to the idea of being with a guy in any way. Speaking generally, I like women, and I find the idea of being with one very appealing. I just seem to have a very, very hard time finding one, specifically, that I want to actually be with, yanno?

[dem862]

You are a demisexual. Google it. Heterosexuals will never understand this.

[Indestructible]

You are a demisexual. Google it. Heterosexuals will never understand this.

Great, so... what do I do about it?

[iamaninnocentma]

Kill yourself?

[Indestructible]

Kill yourself?

How is it that you have so many "thanks" received from posts, again...?

[iamaninnocentma]

I make new accounts and thank myself, creating the illusion that im helpful, when in fact, im a cunt.

[surfhb]

The issue stems from the fact you can't date like a normal person. I never heard the term demisexual but i find it fascinating. Positive note is that you can have friendships with people. Just concentrated on that for now and hopefully you will meet someone when the timing is right

Meantime see a shrink. It's impossible to understand your issue from my perspective but they can offer advice

Another serious question.....do you masturbate at all?

[Indestructible]

Cause i think, because he is to attach to much on a certain way he wants his gf's to be. and that is standing in his way.

Not so much as a "way I want a girl to be", it's just, the qualities I'm attracted to seem to be "rare" or "hard to find" in girls, at least in my experience. For example, sense of humor is a HUGE thing for me (not the only thing, obviously, but still pretty major), because I need to be with someone where we can make each other smile and laugh. But I find that on average, girls either don't understand my sense of humor at all, or they "get it" but don't find it funny the same way I do. Only a very, very, very small minority of girls have ever "clicked" with me, in terms of sense of humor.

[surfhb]

Guys please stop. Why would he be gay. that is stupid

If a person have deep issues from their past and stuff , it can affect how they act to.
So it dont have to be about being gay.

I think maybe topic starter is to busy looking for a certain type of girl and its getting to hard for him to even live that way.
So he need to just relax and get out of his own world. And get into the real one.
By being open to meet other type of people then what he is glued on in his mind.
Cause i think, because he is to attach to much on a certain way he wants his gf's to be. and that is standing in his way.

It's not a stupid question....being a girl you understand the role sexual attraction takes in men in developing emotional bonds . Sex is the primary reason we seek out relationships to begin with....generally

[smackie9]

Great, so... what do I do about it?

You are stuck with a female brain congratz. There is nothing you can do about it...it's classified as a sexual orientation, like gay, lesbian, asexual. You are just born that way. Just carry on with your life.

[Indestructible]

You are stuck with a female brain congratz. There is nothing you can do about it...it's classified as a sexual orientation, like gay, lesbian, asexual. You are just born that way. Just carry on with your life.

Well... Okay, but how am I supposed to date, and find someone to have a relationship with? I don't want to... yanno, spend the rest of my life single/ alone.

[smackie9]

You randomly ask ladies out. Go out on dates with as many as you can. When you date there is no obigation for a relationship. You meet, talk, and enjoy female company. If you enjoyed yourself you go out with them again, talk to them more, etc. Go out with them say 5 or six times, if you are not feeling emotionally attracted to them, don't ask them out again or just honestly say you are not feeling a connection. Just keep on dating or hanging out with others till you feel an emotional connection. This is pretty normal dating pratices.