Please help 7 year relationship about to fall to pieces

[15.03.2006]

right let me try and keep this brief as there are a lot of determing factors in how this could have happened i would just like another womans perspective on things. Me and my girlfriend have been together since we were 15 and are now 22 with a 16mth old daughter, things have been rocky along the way and we have split a couple of times but have always managed to patch things up and start again. A couple of months ago she started telling me i should move out (around about the time i lost my job) not always but maybe once or twive a week, i thought nothing of it untill much more recently we have become to argue alot and she would say move out a lot more frequently, things didnt actually seem to be much different inbetween these arguments and we would still cuddle and kiss and frequently remind the other that we were in love. Now this arguing got a lot worse like as of 2 weeks ago and she has told me to get out for good she doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore and that she doesnt even love me anymore. I cannot just get my things and go from the flat we have shared for the past 3 years as i fear that will be the ultimate end all in our once happy relationship, am i right to feel like she is treating me badly or am i being selfish by not moving out?? i mean its not even like she has indicated that we may be able too sort this out, no break period just blatant end of its over. i hope somebody could shed some light on what she may be thinking thanks in advance.

[15.03.2006]

anybody anything will help any thoughts or advice im in a right rut here

[smackie9]

You are not 15 anymore you are adults who never got to experience the freedoms of being an adult. There's no dating experiences with others, no going out and partying, hookin up, flirting, just having your freedom. She wants to see what she has missed out on. A relationship and being a mom has her feeling trapped. Let her go.

[bcgirl]

And why did you two decide to become young parents?

[IndiReloaded]

Oh god you are both so young. With a child also. The reasons why don't matter, you *have* a child so that is the reality you must deal with.

Are you both mature enough to want to work on your problems? Don't do anything rash right now, just take some time apart from each other to cool down (but don't move out). Tell her calmly you have a daughter and won't leave, that you two *will* work things out. Above else, don't argue with her and stay calm.

Ask her if there is *one thing* she would like you to do for her (except move out). Then actually do it. In the meantime, read this, then come back and post your thoughts:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_leave.html

[m8check]

Probably she needs space at the moment to help her sort her feelings and thoughts.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry, but it's over. It takes two to fix a relationship and she's clearly done with it.

To be honest, I suspect a large part of the problem is that you weren't taking her issues seriously. She was asking you to move out twice a week and you thought nothing of it??!! In a good relationship, people NEVER ask each other to leave. Mate, it sounds like nothing short of smashing you over the head with a mallet would make you take notice that something was seriously wrong. Back then was the time to take her concerns very seriously and try to fix things. But now? It's too little, too late.

Refusing to move out will only increase her resentment for you. If you refuse to go, she's left with only two choices:

1. take legal steps to have you removed

2 she may move out and leave you with an apartment which you can't afford.

It's time to accept that this is over and move on.