How/When Should I Tell Her My Feelings?

[JAnonymous]

Sorry for the megapost, but I came here as a last resort, so now for anyone to help they need to hear my boring story.

I don't know what to do, I've known this girl for most of my life, we are both 17, she has always given me signs that she likes me up until I started (lightly) flirting with her, like she's done for years - she told me she liked me when I was 12 and ever since has flirted on and off with me. I know being 12 has no bearing on today, but she's been consistently flirting with me, and I've liked her for years myself.

I have liked her for a long time, and we grew up together. I've never said anything before but that is because I didn't want to ruin a friendship. I moved away a few years ago and now that we have grown apart some, I wouldn't have anything to loose if I tried to start a relationship with her, and if things went bad - I don't have to worry about any awkwardness.

I started messaging her on Facebook since we can't see each other in person. I thought things were going good, we were talking back and forth and then I asked her if the number I had was still her current one (I hadn't used it in over a year) and she was outside of coverage for about a week, using Facebook. She never responded. Which is odd, I thought. I have known her for all my life, already had her number. "Oh well, it was stupid of me to ask anyway I should have waited and sent a message". I waited a few weeks so as not to look desperate, and I messaged her again (I never brought up the number, or tried using it).

We haven't really had a good conversation since. It takes her a long time to get back to me, but every time she does she uses smiley faces, sounds excited like nothing happened (but she never messages first, or gives me anything to actually respond back with anymore). After being fed up with waiting weeks sometimes to get a response and when I did it was like she is trying to subliminally get me to stop talking WHILE making it look like she was interested in me, I waited a few weeks myself to message back (again, nothing to respond to anyway). I asked her if she still played volleyball, and also said, "Oh, by the way I like your new profile picture!". She saw the message, hasn't responded since, which is 2 weeks tomorrow.

I am going to see her next month which is something I never get to do. I'll be at a camp for a week with her, and I was planning on catching up over Facebook, and over the week get to know her better again in person. Then at the end, I was going to tell her how I felt if she looked interested. I've been looking forward to this for months and now (she is still single, if it means anything she's never been in a relationship) she did a 180 and starts acting like she doesn't know me well.


My main question: Because she has only been treating me like this for a few months and the other times she gives me signs she likes me, but ONLY in person (brings up inappropriate topics, hugs me randomly a little too long and smiles a lot), how do I handle telling her? The distance between us will not be an issue since I can move back at anytime now. Should I tell her when I see her? Or should I not, and if things go good try to start messaging again and then tell her later on? I only want to tell her in person so if I don't now, it will be a while.

Please tell me what you would do in my position.

[jeejee]

Kill myself.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't bother telling her this mushy shit. Just kiss her and see if she goes with it. If she doesn't then you should either never speak to her again, or as jeejee suggested, kill yourself.

[JAnonymous]

Thanks, I'll try jumping if all goes wrong, but I wasn't going to make it mushy. I was going to find a balance of being sincere and not being to robotic like this guy goo[dot]gl/eT9Tr

Seriously, kissing her will not work, especially because of the location, there is virtually no alone time. Certainly not with anyone else. I am not completely lost I just want some opinions. I really don't want to screw this up.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If you really don't want to screw it up, then you're already ****ed. If you can't ever have any alone time with her, then what the **** do you want to start something with her for. This is not going to end well for you.

[JAnonymous]

Why would you cuss at me and then censor it? Do you think it makes your arrogance less rude or uncalled for?

I was asking what you would do in a situation like this. I am on here because I'm not in a good spot, and there isn't much I can do that I would like, I thought a website named loveforum would have at least someone who has more experience or better ideas than you do.

I am bothering with her because I've known her for ever and she's worth it to me even if it means going out of my way a little. I have a literal free ticket back to her city if I wanted to move back. There is more for me there than just her and I've been thinking about it seriously for about three years. I have to act now though. So I need to decide on telling her now or wait to see if I move there, which may happen regardless but would with her.

[Negan]

Okay man. I do not want to be the messenger of doom, but he really isn't into you. Like, not even slightest. My advice, don't bother. Leave her be in her own shit. Seriously man, don't bother. I know how you must feel, but it doesn't worth a mother****er.

And another pro-tip, NEVER EVER message her again. NEVER. Only respond if she messages you, but NEVER start any conversation with her every again. She's clearly not into you at all and might even start to hate you if you pursue this.

[basilandthyme]

JAnonymous, I'm a woman and I'm not seeing that you're anything more than a casual friend to her. Sure, she may discuss inappropriate topics, hug too long and smile heaps...but she may well be like this with everyone. I know plenty of people who this describes LOL

If she was keen to see you, she'd keep the messages going. And she'd initiate messages too. I have a very strong suspicion that she replies to your messages to be polite only. If it was more than that, she would have made sure you have her phone number. Or Skyped with you.

Talk to her about your feelings if you want, but don't hold your breath for a positive outcome.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I wasn't censoring it you sackless, twat. The forum automatically censors the word ****. It's the only one. See, watch. You are a pussy and a bitch for not making a move on her in the years prior. At your age, we can write it off as inexperience, but now you have to grow some balls, and learn from this. This girl has no interest in you what-so-ever. She pretends she doesn't know you. She doesn't respond to your messages. She never initiates any contact with you. She is not interested. You have no chance. Stop being "friends" with girls you like. Make a move on them quickly, and if the feelings aren't returned then drop them cold.

[JAnonymous]

Haha, you have no idea what you are talking about. There is more to this story, I didn't need to type an essay or my life story for you, but if you are so interested in me that you would go to the length of writing insults and replying three times, there is a legit reason why I never said anything before. She doesn't pretend not to know me, we ****ing grew up together and when I do see her she treats me great. We are talking about someone with a shitty internet connection, who never gets on often, and has to use a public computer.

I wasn't being friends with her because I'm a "pussy and a bitch", I didn't make a move quickly because I COULDN'T "drop [her] cold" (yeah, I bet you deal with being dropped cold often, is that why your best advice is to be a douche?) we literally went to her house at LEAST once a week, usually more. We also got dragged around together because of transportation issues, school events, our church and other stuff. Our parents were dependent on each other for 7 years. You are misinformed. Your username along with everything you've done on this thread makes you look like an arrogant, shallow jerk. If you've ever had any success with women it isn't because of your personality - that's about as trashy as is possible.

[IndiReloaded]

Back off until you are at this camp together. Then make a move like Stung says. People value what is scarce, and you are giving yourself away on the cheap, with no return on your investment. If she contacts you first, great, keep it quick and light. Make sure she contacts you more. But right now, I don't see much interest on her part and chasing this unresponsive, far-away girl will most likely make you look desperate.