Am I over reacting?

[notsohappyinlov]

Hi - thanks for reading this I am in need of some advice here to know if I am over reacting to my situation.
I have been dating this guy for 3 months - all is great when we are together and go out/in etc
I just get the feeling that he 'just isnt into me' spose I should just go with my gut but have fallen for him and dont want to quit before I see how things go over a longer time?!
He will reply when I send a text sometimes fairly quickly, other times, hours later. We are both busy people I get that but ...
He doesnt ever ring me.... so I dont ring him to bother him.
Sometimes I drop into his work, which is an appropriate situation to do so and have a cup of tea with him, he is always pleased to see me, gives me a kiss etc.....
He will cook for me and always lights a candle on the table so there is signs of romance !
We have been away together for a weekend and it was fabulous to spend time together - all good
Christmas ? We will have been together for over 4 months by then, he tells me that he is going to his parents for a family Christmas 'thats how it is, I cant get out of it'. No further discusson on the subject! I have met his parents and got on great, am I out of order by wondering why he wont invite me to spend Christams with him and his family? He knows that I have no one to spend the festive period with and will be at home with the tv whilst he is having Christmas dinner.....and staying over night there....so when do we have exchange of presents etc?
He says that his previous gf's have not understood that he doesnt need to ring them and text or reply all the time and that he needs his space ( like we all do ) but where does this become disinterest or merely not hounding someone ?
He also said that he is usually the one in a relationship that has to ask for sex as he has a high sex drive - so do I but its been over 2 weeks now since we were together like that and it is driving me nuts ! We have spent nights together but just says he is tired ( he genuinely is ! ) but ..... again there is the but !
So - am I over reacting here or do I need to give him a wide berth and get on with my life ?
Oh we have a weekend away booked ( a flight to catch and hotel for a concert ) he has not even offered to go halves with paying for all this .....
As I write this I feel that I am merely telling the 'bad' things..... well, maybe just what is annoying and confusing me !

[notsohappyinlov]

wow - now I feel really stupid after getting that reply
All I needed was someone to listen to me and how I feel

[Negan]

Ok, first of all. You are indeed a little over reacting. Not all guys are ringing and texting every day. I haven't called someone in over 7 MONTHS and haven't sent a text in over 3 YEARS. I'm seriously thinking about quitting using a cell phone at all, but i need it to get calls from. Maybe he's the type of guy, just like me, that would rather talk to a person face-to-face than calling or texting them. Ugh, i hate the world. So many cellphones and we become dependent with them.
No wonder everyong thinks it's a problem when someone doesn't want to call or text.

About the Christmas situation, he isn't supposed to invite you. There is no such rule, and i never invited any of my girlfriends over during holidays. You can't blame him if he really wants to spend time with his family alone.

Oh and blossom is wrong, but that's beyond the point.

[searock]

Ignore blossom, it's a troll.

I wouldn't worry about the texting, some people just don't like it.

I would ask him why he doesn't invite you to the Christmas dinner with his family. Don't ask him in a resentful/upset way, just a curious one. Maybe it didn't even cross his mind, he just assumed that he would have spent Christmas with his family alone... there's nothing wrong with that, it's not like you two are married. But it's OK to discuss it, and you should talk about it since it makes you upset and doubtful of his feelings for you.

I would worry about the lack of sex, especially since he told you that he has a very high sex drive (unless he was lying because of insecurity perhaps?). Ask him about this too... again, try not to use a resentful/accusing tone: the more light-hearted you sound, the better.

Communication is key!

[basilandthyme]

notsohappyinlov, the answer here is very simple: If you're not happy in the relationship and the direction in which it's heading, just cut him loose.

Thing is, it doesn't matter whether or not you are overreacting- all that matters is that you are happy and getting your own needs met. Dating is all about finding someone who's a good match for you. It's not about being with someone who's clearly not right for you.

Just one other thing. What's this about you waiting for him to offer to go halves on flights and accommodation for the concert? You must always discuss payment with someone BEFORE you book. Otherwise they will think it's a gift. "your half of the flights and accom is x, is that OK with you? I'll book it as soon as I have your money". And it's too late to ask for money if you've already booked without first confirming that they are OK with the amount. As you'll be stuck with the whole cost of the thing, I suggest you ditch him and take a girlfriend.