Two guys in her bed

[Anonymous312]

Hi, I'm new to love forum but decided to skip the introduction and post straight her with a problem (selfish I know). But it is kind of urgent.

Basically I am at university with my girlfriend. We live separately, me with four of my friends and her with five of hers. I went home for the week, still here. One of her friends had her birthday last night, both my housemates and hers all went out for it drinking and clubbing. When she got back with one of her friends they both went to their beds. Two of my housemates then went to her house for a postlash (after drinks) uninvited. My gf let them in reluctantly and they laid down on her bed and went to sleep. My gf said she tried to get them to leave but gave up and went to bed as well. So there were two of my housemates and my gf in their bed.

I know my girlfriend would never cheat on me, especially with my friends. (I should mention at this point that they shared accommodation last year so they are her friends as well but not that close.) So I just have a few questions to ask the good people at love forum. Is it better that there were two and not one of my friends there? Should I be annoyed at both parties or just one? If I don't get angry will she lose respect for me or think I don't care enough? At the moment I am quite angry with my friends, they shouldn't be there in the first place. Less so with my girlfriend although, she really should have made them leave. Any opinions will be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

[searock]

I would be incredibly pissed, especially at my boyfriend. He would really need to make it up to me somehow - first of all he should promise to NEVER do something like that again. Talk about boundary crossing!

[Illusional]

why don't i let my wife f*ck some people and then i'll complain about it later...

f*ck that, set her straight or get rid of her.


raverboy

[vashti]

As inappropriate as I think it is, this is not unusual behavior for college kids. A lot of young girls haven't yet learned to draw healthy boundaries, especially because they believe that male friends wouldn't THINK of having sex with them.

I think your anger is justified, and she needs to know that you will not tolerate it again.

[Illusional]

hahahaha... ignorance is bliss.


raverboy

[reeba]

My feelings on the topic is everyone was drunk and thought they were being funny. They were all roommates once, and unless there is a sexual past, chances are they look at themselves mostly as brother/sister. I had a male roommate in college for years, and he was totally in the friendzone. Would have never had him as a roommate otherwise.

Now if it was just ONE of them laying on her bed, and she got in the bed with them, then I would be upset/questioning the situation. Two, it was just a joke......unless....

.......your two man friends have some fantasy about having a threesome (the two guy friends and some girl). But most guys are worried about....how do I say this......being hit with some friendly fire. Basically the 2 guys are too concerned appearing sort of bi, so I wouldn't be concerned about this scenerio either.

[Illusional]

^^^ yeah but a sexual past has to have a sexual BEGINNING. right? this could be the start of what's to follow.


raverboy

[Wakeup]

I'm with Vashti on this one... Your gf needs to know what is and isn't acceptable behaviour within your relationship. Best spell it out to her in a very calm and matter of fact way that what she did (let them in her bed or climbed in with them (its unclear) is disrespectful and that you're quite sure she wouldn't like it if you slept with two women while she wasn't with you.

Your gf is the most in the wrong as far as I'm concerned. She's the one in a relationship that should have told her right there that you'd not like her actions. (innocent or not). You DO NOT sleep in an opposite sex friends bed together. It gives wrong ideas and it confuses everyone connected to the situation.