letter to her

[bloomfield]

so ive been out on a date with this girl, we kissed and it was good. unfortunately i had to leave home for a week and think about moving. so we talked on facebook, she responded to my message with a really emotional long message, but left a question i have posed about how she actually sees everything unanswered. so i think about sending of this letter expressing my emotions, do u think this is too emotionally needy, or am i better of just describing the truth? thanks a lot

the letter:

so u make me feel very insecure at the moment. im generally very insecure right now, cause i have no clue whether i will stay in spain or in england. spain feels like giving up the personal development of the last years. every experience, every conversation i had does not make sense in spanish, people are different there, i am afraid of going back to myself two years ago in spain. and england feels like giving up home. my language, everything that is familiar, and stable. and i dont want to lose neither of two things, and i have no clue which i can make work for me more easily. it makes me so worried. and it makes me feel insecure that i shared a lot in my first long message yesterday, but that i couldnt see in ur answer u read the end of it. it feels somewhat powerless sharing a lot and not getting a reaction. and in some way this means i cant entirely care for people, because it means i cant just leave my ego entirely away, like i write this because it feels good writing it down, but i have no clue whether it is the most caring thing to do. so again i feel like i have to do something, cause i like change so much. and im aware that all i wrote today and yesterday was probably weird, inappropriate cause i dont really know u, idk, and i understand if u think its annoying or something. but i would like to get an answer. to what i wrote in my first long message. i often create those „decision“ situations with people i want to get close to because i feel if i want to share it starts making me vulnerable and i want to create a situation with two outcomes i can both deal with, quick closeness or quick end. so dont get this the wrong way, but i want an answer by today. i want to skype by today. and if u dont want to, i really hope that u take the time to be a honest, and i will leave u alone.

[reeba]

Nothing is worse than a letter. When I read I tend to skim read, and misinterpret. I know I skim read your post. I don't like reading all this blah blah blah.

TALK is much better. Two way communication. So stop being a scared boy, and be a man, and give her a call.

[bloomfield]

thanks for ur advice i cant call her up though cause i cant call her on her english cell with my spanish cell atm so i will have to stick with writing. has any body of u criticism of what i wrote... what could be more helpful writing?

[reeba]

Then get a calling card and use a LAN line (that is the old fashioned telephone that plugs into the wall).

If you must write. Say what you want to say in 3 sentences. She already knows you like her.

Also tell her that you plan on splurging and getting skype. You can't have a real relationship via email.

[bloomfield]

why do u spend writing two posts without reading the letter i want feedback on, that is not constructive. i mentioned in the letter that i want to skype with her. whether i should get a new contract is not the question here, if i wanted to know how to call england i would search on a telefone forum can anyone tell me something about the actual letter, we communicated a lot over messages before and i like this form of communication, because in a call im often not able to say everything i wanted to say, and i want to give her time to think about her response..

[bloomfield]

can anyone please just help me im crying for the whole day and dont know what to do.. all this makes me feel so shit

[basilandthyme]

Bloomfield, I know you want feedback on the letter - but the feedback is DO NOT SEND A LETTER. And I fully agree with that advice because I hate letters too.
My advice is to just send a message asking if she wants to Skype with you.

However, if you really need constructive criticism on the letter: Yes, it does sound too needy. And please don't write to tell her that she is making you insecure or that her lack of response is a problem. Putting blame on her will only turn her off.

Please also pay her the respect of using proper spelling and puncuation. While grammatical errors made when writing in a second language are understandable and acceptable, text style abbreviation/no capitals at the start of sentences/no paragraph breaks are just lazy. Is she not worth the effort of writing 'you' instead of 'u' and "I don't know" instead of 'IDK"?

Between being needy, the blaming of her and the lazy writing style, I would not respond to that letter. Please, just pick up the landline and call her.