She wants to be friends because there are no "love feelings"

[Consistency]

Being in the friend zone means that she doesn't see you as a man, simply as a boy. Its not her fault. Attraction isn't a choice.

Work on yourself. Gain muscle in a natural way and she will eventually see you in a different light but you might not accept her after you have improved on yourself.

[smackie9]

Sorry but getting all buff won't make her change her mind. Girls are attracted to the non emotional, you have to not be a doormat ( a wuss) and don't be so easily available to them.

[Consistency]

Sorry but getting all buff won't make her change her mind. Girls are attracted to the non emotional, you have to not be a doormat ( a wuss) and don't be so easily available to them.

Getting all buff will raise his testosterone which will raise his self-esteem and make him feel like a man. A man who has the urge to chase and have passionate sex with a woman. I agree with the second part and him working out will make him automatically unavailable.

[tomasll]

If the apperiance would have been the issue, I wouldn't have even asked for help. Believe me, I did everything for her. I lost 12 kilos from the last brake up, gained extra 6 (muscle of course). I have a six pack (a visible one), face, wealth, it doesn't matter what I do to myself, how I improve myself, she just doesn't have feelings for me (or anyone as she said, i don't think she was lying).
The boyfriend she dated was everything you wouldn't want to have or look like, when she broke it off with him, she thought, that the others might think, that she saw something better and ran off because of that, but it wasn't just that (but it also kinda was - she also said it). So don't think that I am some lame guy sitting on a computer everyday crying myself to sleep, I am not, I was a bad to her to get her, I got her, but then the feelings part came...
I'm asking for help because I do not know any tricks which I can pull off to fix it..
If I would buy a porche, it wouldn't matter (I'm thinking of one, one year to go though)...

* This post was not to brag about myself, I just wanted you to know what I am dealing with here *

[Consistency]

Do the opposite? Give up all unnecessary objects and get in touch with yourself. Know who you are. Be in the pursuit of your happiness.

I have one question. Are you chasing her?

[smackie9]

You can't create or force chemistry...if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it never will. It just wasn't meant to be with her, but a possability to someone else. Keep looking.

[Consistency]

You can't create or force chemistry...if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it never will. It just wasn't meant to be with her, but a possability to someone else. Keep looking.

You're right. I never have had a problem with chemistry since its always been there for me with every woman I've found attractive. It still looks like he is not being himself and trying too hard.

[luvcoq]

You can't create or force chemistry...if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it never will. It just wasn't meant to be with her, but a possability to someone else. Keep looking.

Yeah, thats a possability for shore.

[tomasll]

Consistency, what do you mean by chasing her?
When she ran away, I never wrote, she did it first. So even though I wanted to, I gave up on her, but then I thought to myself - maybe I'm to cruel and should react if she is trying? Well from then I did, until now. It's been a week without any contact. Don't know about the christmas meet up though. If I ignore her, it will all be lost, I mean like totally. So 5 years together will be just a painful series of memories.

[lylufy]

Although I'm sympathy to your hurt but I can not give you the exact advices.
For you, It seem like your brother is the main reason of your breaking up.
But you didn't tell us what did your brother do.
Therefor, it's hard to sum up in this case, your brother was truly wrong for his intrusive in your relationship, or your GF was too sensitive?
Even though your brother was intrusive, she treated you like that (hook up her ex only 1 day after broke up you) was unbelievable.
Despite of her falling in love with you,she could easier came back to her ex in a very sort time... Why ?
If she choses her ex, you don't need to regret too much !
Think about her like a person didn't love you like her saying.

[tomasll]

I think you replied to the wrong topic?

[Consistency]

Consistency, what do you mean by chasing her?
When she ran away, I never wrote, she did it first. So even though I wanted to, I gave up on her, but then I thought to myself - maybe I'm to cruel and should react if she is trying? Well from then I did, until now. It's been a week without any contact. Don't know about the christmas meet up though. If I ignore her, it will all be lost, I mean like totally. So 5 years together will be just a painful series of memories.

What you feel for her is not sexual chemistry, its just friendship love between friends without any attraction, as she stated. Sexual chemistry is when two people look into each others eyes and they have an uncontrollable feeling to have passionate sex.

Not to hurt your feelings. Seems like you're being a little dog that follows her and asks for her approval. Make your own decisions and move on.

Have you had sex yet? Because it seems like you haven't.

I wouldn't ignore her but simply don't be "available" to do things for her when she can clearly do them herself. Don't be her tool she can call whenever she needs to be saved. Treat her as a male friend. Decide whether or not you want to keep hugging her, hugging increases oxytocin levels, the bonding hormone.

You can check out attraction videos on youtube. David DeAngelo Double Your Dating 1 .. is an excellent video for those who are lost.

[tomasll]

No, we did not have sex, everything but that. Well I have those feelings for her, but she does not and never will as I see. Well I will not be around her since i do want to do things to her, but she doesn't feel the same, so why hurt myself? I really did not ask for approval on any of the things I did, I was sweet to her after we became a "couple", it couldn't have worked out in any other way, it would be just stupid to treat her like she is nothing for me when we were in a relationship. But now it doesn't matter what I do. I will certainly not contact her first, I stated that I do not want to be her friend, if she already forgot about the things I did for her, then I'll be fine, don't really need such a person around.

[searock]

Good. Do not contact her, and do not reply to her if she contacts you, unless if it is to tell you that she wants to date you again.

Just don't think about her anymore, keep your mind occupied with other things and before you know it you'll be OK.

[JBG]

You can't create or force chemistry...if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it never will. It just wasn't meant to be with her, but a possability to someone else. Keep looking.

You certainly can't force it overnight, but you can gradually change things over time. The more he exercises and works on himself, the more attractive he'll be to other women. He can start dating other girls and getting some confidence and experience. A lot of college girls are unsure of themselves and easy to talk into a fling.

The more women he has, the easier it'll be for him to get more. There's nothing more attractive to a woman than a guy who already has them.

He can stay away from her until after their freshman year. She'll probably be too busy with college to start a relationship anyway. He can come back after a successful year at college, in great shape, with a lot of confidence. She'll probably tell him that he's changed, and she might start to have feelings for him.

You can absolutely get out of the friend zone, but you have to know how the opposite sex thinks in order to do it.