would you date a woman with two kids?

[deannam]

Let me start with the worst of me: I am a young woman (30) with two kids from two different dads.

Then let me explain:

When I was in my late 20s, I was diagnosed with an untreatable condition that meant if I wanted to have children, I had to do so right away or risk never having them. I made the difficult decision to get a sperm donor...and raise it on my own. When I had my baby, the doctors said he was a miracle.

Flash forward to a couple years later: I conceived naturally with a guy who meant very little to me, and was shocked. I tried three times to have an abortion but could not go through with it. I knew it was probably the only chance to have a sibling for my child. But the guy I was with was so immature about everything and made me feel awful.
I have no attraction for him.

Now that I have two young children, I'm not really thinking about dating. But in the back of my head, I think "what if no one ever dates me again?" I'm a great catch other than this...attractive, in good shape, funny, talented, educated, giving.

I just have the burden of being a single mother times two. Not that I look at it like a burden, but I realize the sacrifice a man would have to make to be with me. I'm still so young, I don't want to date someone 30 years older than me. I just want someone to treat me well...and to have fun.

What do you guys think? Please no harsh replies. I've been through a lot.

[Fruitsss]

I dont want any kind of guy that have kids. cause people like that often are a mess.
and they still have drama with the mother or mess with her.

But on your topic

I think men will want to know your story . And if its like u told us i think they will shore say no to u.
Cause its messy, and u just made kids , and u say u could not have kids, but weird enough u had the
plan to do abortion. While people like that would not even think about abortion. But they would be happy.

and says something about u and dealing with responsibility and how u may think about them too if they get you pragnant.
u had a story like : u just got pregnant from your 2 last exes.

[Fruitsss]

and it says something about u and dealing with responsibility and how u may think about them too if they get you pragnant.
If u had a story like : u just got pregnant from your 2 last exes. i think men would accept that easier

Something went wrong on that last part.

[Fruitsss]

So i think u may have to change your mentality about having kids.
And dont think about u but about in what situation u will bring them.

And think of how u will introduce and tell men about your situation, without lying.
In a way that they will not run away while knowing that.
cause having kids can be a issue for a men, but having them from 2 different dads can be more then a issue and especially with the details about both of them.

[dem862]

No woman who wants a date goes without. There are multiple men for every woman. He may not be the quality you would like, but just pick the one you like the best, like most women do. Kids don't matter. There are women with 4 kids turning men down. I know one.

[IndiReloaded]

They say there's someone for everyone...

You sound stable, which is question #1 for me re: having children. Deciding to have kids yourself, especially if you are financially and emotionally secure, sounds quite courageous. I question somewhat your need for having your own instead of adopting. Of course, I'm not sure what the biases are for adoption. Its quite possible its harder to adopt as a self-sufficent, but very single, individual than to go your route.

I'm a woman tho, so maybe you're more interested in what the male posters have to say. Bump.

[surfhb]

Most people have kids when they're in thier 30s and 40s so I don't think us guys have much of a choice. Haha

....and please disegard Fruitass. She's our local religious nutcase

[Fruitsss]

Most people have kids when they're in thier 30s and 40s so I don't think us guys have much of a choice. Haha

....and please disegard Fruitass. She's our local religious nutcase

talk for yourself and about yourself. retarded whore. u dont know e so shut up.motherless!

[Turbo]

No woman who wants a date goes without.

THIS!

As long as you have a vagina, you will be sought after, even with "baggage" (was that put too bluntly.. sorry)!

For me, kids would be a serious strike against her, friends of mine have dated people with kids, the women always wanted the guy to be somewhat of a "father figure" in the kids lives, so if you break up you are breaking up with her AND her kids, lol. In some ways it can be good... you get some free time while she is with her kids.

[haxan]

It's all relative. You might be a good match for someone in a similar situation, divorced or separated who has children. I don't think it's a great idea for you to date men without children and bring them around yours.

Personally if I were single with no children, I wouldn't date someone with. Someone with 2, and from different fathers, even worse.

There's a cover for every pot, I'm sure if you look ok, men will want to date you. But don't think that because you look ok and attract men that they will treat your kids in the manner you want or expect, especially if you are not around. I've seen some unhealthy, sad situations out there.

Be careful. I'd say to date and have fun, keep it out of your house (get a sitter for the night). If by chance you find a good man who has children and understands the dynamics, maybe it's worth pursuing a relationship, but still be very cautious.

You made your choices, you have to live by them and do what's right. If being single until they're grown is how it works out, you can't be bitter about that.