Feeling lost

[sandfish]

Hey all

So bit of background first.

I met this lovely girl off the internet and it was fantastic for about 3 to 4 months, the past month has been a little bit iffy..

She became distant and the flirtatious fun almost ground to a halt. All the sweet stuff and attentiveness from her side seemed to vanish.

She is in her final year of uni and verrry busy with work and is very stressed with it. After noticing everything was degrading, i asked her about it, and asked where we stand, 'what are we'?

It was a good conversation with happy notes, she explained that she doesn't want anything serious just now and she is very stressed etc, she doesnt like the lables involved in relationships like boyfriends and girlfriends and the word relationship scares her. She said she "really really likes me and thinks seeing me is amazing"

We spoke for a while and we decided it would be for the best to go back to how we were 'in summer' for it to be 'less serious'. Which was laid back but very exciting. We were developing things for each other then.

So the past few days we've still been in communication, friendly etc, but the whole ordeal has just left me utterly lost. It feels like something is missing now.. because we already know each other now, that initially burst of energy at the start isnt there, so it almost feels we're just aimlessly texting.

I know shes stressed at the moment, but i want to understand more about whats going through her head about us, i want our ''non-relationship'' to eventually progress and lead to something. I want her to understand that just because we wont be seeing each other often shouldnt cause her more stress.

How do i get this incredible thing back on track before it withers into nothingness?
Do I give her the space she requires and chill with the nicey nicey stuff?
I dont want to 'chill' too much as it may lead to an uninterest of each other from both sides?
I probably need to find a right balance of keeping it fresh and interesting and keeping enough space for her to concentrate on her studies.

After all that... do you think it would be wise to just call her and tell her i'm feeling lost and ask her exactly what I should be doing?


Thanks people, I really do hope this one can be saved

[Chronicle113]

I say just do as she says and keep it friendly. She will come around when she get her own problems straigthen out. She feel as though, at this moment, adding someone into her life will create even more stress on her. Not that you are stressing her out. She may feel as though if things get serious, and she is constantly busy and stressed out, that she may feel that you may get irritated based on her busy schedule and thus stress her out even more. Just give her some time. She will come around if she truly cares. It just a matter of balance and peace of mind for her.

[sandfish]

I'm worried about how to 'be' with her now. worrying about what I say so i don't appear im not giving her space. I dont even think we got that serious for her to back away anyway. think shes just a bit loopy to be fair, ah well. just feeling very pessimistic about it all