I'm cheating for the 1st time....

[Wakeup]

Yea.. and quit falling in love with a woman you've only said hello to. O.o

[phantom694u]

Seriously Im no troll. I am in serious dilemma... Not so easy to shut out ex... I really care about her as a person. I want to be friends with her. She has gone through so much in her life, and she just wants to have a stable relationship for once.

I really like this new woman in my life. She is very reserved in a sense that she doesn't want to end up falling for the wrong man, but I can tell she really likes me a lot. I am going to try to distance myself gradually from ex.... as in talking less and seeing less. I think an abrupt break would damage her further. Don't want to hurt her, as she really has not done anything wrong to me.

[Wakeup]

... Just how well do you honestly think being friends with a woman you once shared a bed with is going to go over with this new woman you're jonesing over. Stop being afraid to let people out of your life that have no business still being in it. That is a sorry state of the codependent.

You only owe her your honesty. Your job is not to caretake her or how she handles you no longer being in her life. You cannot fix her and shame on you for being so ego-driven that you think you can. She needs professional help. Guide her to a referral to a shrink and then let him/her help to fix her.

[IndiReloaded]

You cannot fix her and shame on you for being so ego-driven that you think you can.

Thanks WU, I also thought this but was checking my biases.

[Hotaru]

... Just how well do you honestly think being friends with a woman you once shared a bed with is going to go over with this new woman you're jonesing over. Stop being afraid to let people out of your life that have no business still being in it. That is a sorry state of the codependent.

That and I very highly doubt your ex is gonna play nicely. She knows when you two were together and this other woman knows when you two were together and if these states of togetherness collide, your love life is going to implode...

If you end up with Woman 2, don't ask her to marry you a week later. A friend of mine just asked his girlfriend to marry him after 5 months together max because they're both co-dependent and I'm already tired of dealing with the crap. I'm sure somewhere in the world this has worked for someone but the chances are fairly low, IMO.

[AnnonymousMan]

I am going to try to distance myself gradually from ex.... as in talking less and seeing less. I think an abrupt break would damage her further. Don't want to hurt her, as she really has not done anything wrong to me.

What are you her cigarette addiction that she needs weened off from? You say she hasn't wronged you so by leaving her you would be wronging her? I call bullshit on that. Leaving anyone is in no way wronging them. If you do not want her like that then you have every right to leave. Just don't ignore her or act like an ice cold asshole who ignores her every move. At least talk to her occasionally if she needs you there as strictly a friend. But if she continually tries getting back with you I think you need to lay out the logic card hard and explain to her exactly why you do not want to be with her and why it is best if you were not. You want to leave her, yet leave her with an understanding.